Stranded
by Integra Hawke
Summary: What happens when you're stuck on a deserted island with two sworn enemies? Things are never dull for Hawke, now are they?
1. Chapter 1

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded.  
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_**__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.**_**_**_**__  
><strong>_

_**Stranded**_

The water was warmer the closer we got to shore. My limbs felt leaden as I continued to crawl on my hands and knees, feeling every cut and scrape from the rocks under me but I could not stop until we were safely out of the water. I looked over my shoulder at Anders, who looked as tired as I did, panting when we reached the shallow sand bar and were finally able to rest. He sat back on his heels, moving his long hair out of his eyes with one hand.

"Maker's breath! I didn't think we would ever make it to shore!" I said to him, sputtering out water from an unexpected wave that caused me to lose my balance and flail to right myself.

I felt the pull of the tide as I struggled to right myself once more and not be dragged out into deeper water. I knew that if that happened, I would never be able to make it back. I got back on my knees, flung my wet hair back away from my eyes and watched Anders struggling to reach me. I held my hand out to him to let him know I was fine and he rested again.

"At least you're not still carrying this bloody elf! He's wire thin and heavier than anything I've ever had to carry in his blasted armor," he swore and I looked back at the unconscious man he carried his back.

"He saved our lives, Anders. The least we could do is make sure he didn't drown for his troubles," I said and turned back towards the not too distant shore. "Let's keep going. We can rest once we're out of the water."

I moved closer to him to try to relieve him of Fenris but he shrugged me off and motioned to keep going. I was suddenly glad that I had left my armor back in Kirkwall, as the soaked mage robes, a gift from my cousin, were weighing me down. I could only imagine what Anders was going through with his own robes and Fenris' added weight and armor. I had regretted losing the long sword when we forced to abandon the sinking ship but there was no way we could have brought it along. Between the two of us, I had the only usable staff, as Anders was forced to leave his to help carry Fenris over the side and safely into the water. I only hoped that whatever we faced, we could make do with the small daggers I had hidden in my bodice.

My arms shook the last few feet as I dragged myself away from the water's edge and finally gave out as soon as we were safely on dry land. I fell face first, unable to move and lay still for a few moments until I felt Anders hands on my back, flipping me over so I would not breathe in the sand. With the back of my hand I clumsily reached up and wiped the grittiness away from my eyes, nose and mouth before I looked up at him.

"Remind me never to get on a bloody ship ever again!" I laughed as I dropped my hands above my head.

"Are you alright, Inara?" he asked, leaning forward and wiping more of the drying sand off my face.

"Better now that I'm not swallowing half of the Amaranthine Ocean," I said and looked up at him before looking past him to the still form of Fenris. "How is he?"

"Breathing, thank the Maker, but still unconscious. I imagine he will have a hell of a headache when he finally wakes up," he said, watching as I slowly crawled over to him to look him over myself. "Unfortunately I don't have the strength to do more than a cursory exam. He'll be fine for now, but there's nothing more we can do tonight."

I reached out and moved a few strands of wet hair off the elf's forehead and caressed his face before I laid down next to him, snuggling as close to him as I could without putting any weight on him. From what I could tell, he had no broken bones and could find no cuts. My guess is he was still unconscious from hitting his head as we tried to escape. If he had not put himself in harm's way, we would have been unable to get to the deck of the ship.

I waited a few moments before turning my head and looking at Anders, who was now seated facing the water.

"What are you looking at?" I asked him quietly.

"I'm trying to figure out where we are," he replied. "We were only out to sea for a week before the storm hit and threw us off course."

"If we're lucky, we're close to a village that we missed when we were making our way to shore," I said and yawned. "Tomorrow we'll have a look around but for now, let's get some sleep."

I held out my hand to him but he remained where he was seated. I turned to him and balanced my weight on my elbow. "It's getting cold, Anders. I don't know about you but my robes as soaked and I haven't the strength to gather dry fire wood. If we sleep close together we might be a little warmer by sharing our body heat," I suggested.

Finally he relented and moved to lie down by my side as I laid back on the sand. I could feel his hesitation to close the gap between us so I reached out and grabbed his arm, tucking it under mine and pulled him closer to me as I turned my body towards Fenris so that he was molded to my back. I had not lied about the cold and found that my shivering immediately stopped with him close as he was very warm. I felt his breath on the back of my neck as I interlaced my fingers with his and closed my eyes.

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><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**_**WARNING: THIS IS POSTED AS MATURE!**_  
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_**I credit this chapter to my close friend KRISJFERN! It is very similar to a scene of hers in The Rejoining and was posted with her permission!  
><strong>_

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. All comments are welcome.**_**_

**_Stranded_**

**_The next morning_**

It was the light filtering through the overhead branches that finally woke me. The lull of the ocean had kept me in a dream state longer than usual and if not for the circumstances, I would have gladly closed my eyes. It was still early and as much as I wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, my body reminded me that I had been in one position far too long. I thought I was beyond feeling the aches and pains in my limbs from the night before but morning reminded me that I could not continue to ignore my screaming muscles. It hurt to even open my eyes but it was the one muscle I could successfully move without causing me to cry out in pain.

The next thing I noticed was I was no longer lying flat on the sand, but half draped over someone. My head was resting on the side of his neck and cheek while my left arm was across his chest. His left arm was circled around my waist and his right hand was resting on my arm but very near my breast. My leg was high around his waist. It was a position I often found myself while at home in bed with Fenris…but from the body type I knew this could only be Anders I was lying comfortably on.

My first thoughts raced to how Fenris would react if he woke and found me bodily lying on another man when I realized that was the least of my problems. Anders may not have been awake but another part of his body was nice and snug against me. I could feel him through his trousers and my body reacted as it normally did upon waking up with Fenris on many occasions.

I didn't realize I had involuntary dug my fingers into his shoulder in my attempt to move and only got a more intimate feel of the full length of him and was forced to stop. Truthfully I realized just how much it I was enjoying the feel of him and could not bring myself to move without letting out the sounds I was suppressing. Perhaps in another situation I would have needed no other invitation than to simply act out one's natural urges. I could feel the difference and knew that being with him could not be compared to how it was with Fenris and for a moment, my mind wandered to the places my body could not.

He moved slightly and I closed my eyes, hoping that if he was awake, he didn't notice I had been racking my brain for the past several minutes on how to untangle myself without waking him. I felt his heartbeat speed up and knew without a doubt that he was now fully aware of his body's reaction. I felt him look past me, most likely thinking as I had of the man lying on the other side of me and the great possibilities of him causing him bodily harm for the positions we found ourselves in.

I felt his hand stiffen as it realized how close it was to my breast and he moved it away, but not before allowing his fingers to brush me gently, and I felt him swallow hard when he finally moved his hand away. He placed his hand under my knee to lift it lightly from his waist, realizing too late just how snug he was to my body. He softly cursed as his body responded further and he moved me quickly away but not before I felt the tip of him rub against me and I bit my lip to suppress my own moan.

I heard as he quickly got to his feet and moved away from us and I could only guess that he was now in desperate need to relieve himself. I was tempted to follow him, partly to make sure that he would be safe but also to find relief myself. I could not deny that I was also uncomfortable now and knew that if we were alone, I would not hesitate to go to him. My mind wandered to the feel of his muscles and how I found that I hadn't minded the feel of his stubble either. I could still feel his fingers brushing the side of my breast and the length of him on my inner thigh.

I sighed and tried to calm my body down while I waited for him to return. I would give him some time to be alone but since we were unaware of our location, I didn't want him wandering off on his own, without something to protect himself with.

_Maybe now would be a good time to practice that combat magic you've heard so much about_, I told myself. _If I could just learn how to channel magic without relying on a staff! _

There was still so much I still felt I needed to be comfortable with doing this, but I felt with plenty of practice I knew I could do it. With lots and lots of practice, of course, with…Oh Maker! How was I going to face him now, knowing something so private and intimate!

_Think Hawke! _

I closed my eyes when I heard him returning. I was still facing him so when he lay down beside me once again, I returned my head back to his shoulder and pretended as if nothing had occurred. I knew I would eventually need to move away from him, but for now I couldn't help myself from getting close to him. I knew that once we were all awake things would go back to the way they were but for now I could let my mind wander.

I felt him brush my hair away from my eyes and sigh as he laid his head back down on the sand.


	3. Chapter 3

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. _**_** My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern.**_**_ All comments are welcome.**_**_

_**Stranded**_

_**Time to heal**_

I felt as if I had just closed my eyes when I awoke again. I was still lying on my right side and reached over only to find that Anders was nowhere to be found but my staff was still resting nearby. I looked around as I sat up stiffly and rolled my head to try to relieve the tension in my neck muscles, lifting my arms above my head to continue stretching as much as I could before bending forward at the waist and reaching to grab my feet. I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Anders returning with an armful of dry branches to start a fire. I drew my legs to my chest and tried not to watch him approach awkwardly, hoping to get the feelings and images of the early morning out of my head and failing.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he dropped the branches nearby.

"Much better now that I've had plenty of rest," I said and was finally able to look up at him. "You should have woken me up. I would have gone with you."

"I haven't been gone long and I know you needed to rest up as much as possible," he said as he sat down beside me.

I reached over and placed a hand on his forearm. "You went off without a staff, Anders. Anything could have happened to you," I said and squeezed his arm. "You need to promise me that you'll be careful from now on. Until we know for sure, we can only rely on each other to remain safe."

He looked at my hand and up at my face carefully. "I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry," he said softly. He looked past me and I slowly let go of his arm. "Are you ready?"

"Don't worry about me, Anders. My part in this is relatively small compared to what you must do," I said and slowly crawled to the other side of Fenris.

"There aren't many mages who can do what you do without the use of lyrium, Inara," he said as he moved to the sit opposite me on the other side of Fenris. "No one knows what the lasting effects might be."

"Let me worry about it, Anders. Right now I will do whatever is necessary to find out why he hasn't woken up," I said and sat back on my heels.

A mage draws on something within them, some force that can never truly be described to anyone. At times it's like feeling a current continuously running through your body and even that cannot proper explain everything a mage might feel. This power we have can be naturally be renewed, given time to rest properly or if forced to, by the use of a dwarven mineral known as lyrium.

I, on the other hand, have the rare talent of acting as a conduit, storing and sharing my power, or mana as it is described by others, to boost another mages abilities. The only thing similar to what I can do is called Blood Magic, where a magic uses his own blood or that of sacrifice…and it's extremely forbidden. I have yet to meet another mage who can do what I can do.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths and feeling the buildup of power flowing through my body, drawing on it until I could feel it almost trapped within the certain of my being. I held my hand out to Anders and nodded that I was ready to begin. He held his hand over Fenris' body and I could feel the connection between us, sensing my power flow into him so he could use it in turn to heal.

Soon it was as if my body was on fire and I bit my lip to keep from screaming out. This ability was also a double edged sword; even if I could willingly share my power with others, it wasn't long until the gentle current turned unbearable for me. The other mage was left feeling drunk with the added power I shared while, if I was lucky, I lay unconscious and in pain. The longer time I allowed myself to continue, the longer time it took to recuperate.

That I was willingly putting myself through this spoke only of my desperation to heal Fenris. I felt as Anders healed as quickly as he could, knowing that every moment we continued meant more pain in the long run for me and I was rewarded with hearing him groan and jolt upright before feeling the current between us abruptly cut off and I fell onto my side, spasms racking my body but for some reason did not lose consciousness.

Anders moved over to me quickly and I could feel that he was trying to calm the pain deep inside and everywhere his magic flowed was like cool water that helped relieve the pain I felt. By the time I opened my eyes, my body still hurt but seeing Fenris' concerned face looking down at me quickly made me forget my discomfort as I slowly sat up. He reached over and took me in his arms.

"Foolish mage! Why would you take such a risk?" he demanded as he held me pulled me closer.

"It is worth any amount of pain, having you back here with me," I said and reached out my hand to Anders, who had looked away.

_Thank you! _I mouthed to him and he smiled weakly.

"Where are we?" Fenris asked when he finally moved back from me.

"Unfortunately we're not exactly sure because of the storm," I said and looked around. "We only made it as far as this spot once we got to shore. I didn't want to chance moving you until Anders could heal you properly," I said and looked at Anders.

"We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't insisted on accompanying the Warden archer back to Ferelden, _mage_," Fenris growled instead.

"It was my decision to go as well," I reminded him, knowing that soon the two would be fighting. "I wanted a chance to speak with my cousin once King Alistair left Kirkwall."

"Once you've gathered your strength, we should look around. There may be a village nearby that can help us," Anders said.

I could feel myself dozing off again, hoping that they could be civil enough to each other while I was unable to mediate.


	4. Chapter 4

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. _**_** My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern.**_**_ All comments are welcome.**_**_

**_Lovely fan art for this chapter is called Free Again by Fabriel at DeviantArt._**

**_The Storm_**

I felt something soft brushing my cheek and woke to find that I was being carried. I looked up first at Anders and then at the change of landscape. From what I could see, it was rapidly becoming darker and we were no longer close to the shoreline.

"Why are we moving?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"There's a storm coming and we need to find shelter as quickly as possible," he answered.

"You don't have to carry me anymore, Anders," I pointed out.

"Um, right, well Fenris insisted and since he was still recovering it was left to me to carry you." He slowed to put me down and I looked at him as he handed he my staff as well. "N-no! Not that I'm complaining! You're actually lighter than he is since you don't insist on wearing armor," he stammered and I laughed.

"Thank you for carrying me but I'm feeling better now," I said as Fenris strode back towards us.

"Why is she standing? I told you to carry her!" he said angrily but I gripped my staff and pointed it at him.

"I'm not a child, Fenris. I can walk on my own. Anders spent half the night keeping you afloat and now that I'm awake I can walk just as easily as the two of you," I said and walked past him.

He reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me. "I worry every time you put yourself in harm's way, Inara. I do not like seeing you after…"

"I did it for you," I said softly, placing my hand on his and squeezing it.

He turned and looked back at Anders. "Thank you," he said curtly and walked away quickly. I looked at Anders and he slowly grinned.

"That was…unexpected," he said.

"I wouldn't let it go to your head," I laughed.

"Perish the thought, Hawke!"

There was a flash overhead and we rushed to catch up to Fenris. Ahead I could see the opening of a dark cave and wondering exactly how far from shore we had traveled.

"Wait, are we sure this is safe?" I stopped at the mouth of the cave, looking into the darkness and refused to go in any further. Inwardly I shuddered, hoping not to hear that the cave was infested with spiders! Having dealt with more than my far share around Kirkwall, I did not want to wake up to find one about to attack me.

"I've gone in as far as the cave goes and have found nothing that will mind our intrusion," Fenris reassured me as he knew of my fear and I raised my staff, channeling a small portion of magic to the sphere at the tip of my staff to allow light in the cave. Having convinced myself there were none, no sooner had I taken a step forward that the rain began to pour and I had no choice but join them inside.

I looked around and watched the two men pile the dry branches Anders had earlier to build a campfire as close to the mouth of the cave as they could without it getting wet. I walked closer and when they were done, held my hand out and willed outward a bit of fire to get it started. The air in the cave was chilled and I squatted down in front of the fire, letting the glow of my staff die out finally.

I tried to run my fingers through my hair and felt how stiff it now was from the dried sea water. I got up, removed my mostly empty pack and leaned my staff on the cave wall before turning back to walk out into the downpour.

"Wait, where do you think you're going?" Anders asked.

"I don't know about the two of you but I'm going make good use of this to wash off the sea from my skin," I said and walked out into the warm rain.

Anders followed and we stood together, letting it soak into our robes and I ran my fingers through my long dark hair several times until it was no longer stiff. I looked back and Fenris reluctantly joined us after he removed his gauntlets and armor and stood beside me in his dark tunic shirt and trousers. I looked at him and smiled as his hair turned translucent. I could not stop myself from running my fingers through it and he gave me a small smile. We remained there a few minutes more before we returned to the cave feeling a bit cleaner.

I walked back to where I left my staff, dripping water and knew that I would have to let my robe dry separately by the fire. I reached for the ties and began to undo them, watching as Anders did the same and at Fenris who glared at him for watching me, regardless of the fact that I wore a dark shift underneath. I laid my wet clothes on a rock and proceeded to wring out as much water as I could from my shift and hair before I sat down on the cold floor to remove my boots as well. Anders sat opposite of me and also started to undo the laces of his boots. Like me, he had been wearing a short sleeve shirt, along with trousers. It was rare to see him out of his robes and I took the opportunity to notice his bare arms before looking away. Fenris had removed his dark tunic shirt and was still standing beside me.

In the gloom of the cave, I could do nothing more than brush my hair out with my fingers as both men steadily ignored each other. I stretched my feet as close to the fire as I dared as Fenris finally sat down beside me, pulling me close to him and I closed my eyes, listening to the rain and wondering how long it would last. I was eager to explore the area we were at and hoped that we could find some way to return to Kirkwall before long. I wondered if and how far Isabela would come looking for us, especially if we had gone off-course because of the storm that sank our ship.

My other concern was keeping Anders and Fenris from turning on each other.


	5. Chapter 5

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. _**_** My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern.**_**_ All comments are welcome.**_**_

_**Lovely artwork for this chapter is called Illuminate by DragondLover1 at DeviantArt.**_

_**A Moment to Ourselves**_

It had rained all afternoon and I woke feeling the cold from cave floor and still damp clothes I wore. I fell asleep leaning on Fenris' shoulder and found that listening to the crackling of the fire along with the rain helped me ignore my growing hunger. I knew that as soon as we could, we would need to search for food and fresh water if we were going to survive here while waiting to be rescued. If this island was truly deserted, we would need to learn to live together and I wondered how long I could keep Anders and Fenris working with each other peacefully.

I noticed the rain had slowed down and became gentler as I stiffened and stretched my tired muscles. The fire had burned down low and while there were still some parts of the branches left to burn, it might soon go out if not tended to. I felt the light brush of hair on my face as I found I was lying up against Fenris and I could feel the familiar weight of his arm across my waist. I reached my left hand out towards the fire with the intent of focusing on the remaining branches to help it get going once more when he grabbed my hand to stop me.

I looked up him at him and whispered, "Is something wrong?"

"The mage has deemed fit to give us some privacy. It is the first we have had in a while and I am not willing to waste it," he said and I looked over to the other side of the fire and saw that Anders was in fact gone again. We were completely alone. I smiled and moved closer to him, kissing him as I ran my fingers through his hair. Finally I pulled away, taking to shaky breath and hugged him tightly, digging my fingers into his shoulder.

"Are you alright, Inara?" he asked as I buried my face in his chest, crying softly and he reached down to lift my face to look up at him. "Hush, my love. No more tears, please, for my sake. Tell me what troubles you?"

"I thought I lost you," I was finally able to say as my eyes met his. "After we got separated when the fire started, I knew I had to find Anders, but I couldn't find you. I could hear the men yelling as they tried to put out the flames but the smoke was so overwhelming…if you had not broken down the door, I was certain that ship would be my grave."

He pulled me closer and held my as tightly as possible. "Nothing short of death would have stopped me from reaching you!"

"I knew it was you, even after all the men had given up trying to get to us," I said. "You're always risking yourself to save me."

"No more than you are," he reminded me. "Nothing frightens me more than when you willingly cause yourself pain."

"It frightened me, seeing you lying on the deck after you were knocked out and we couldn't revive you even after we healed your wound," I said softly. "I couldn't carry you once we managed to safely get you in the water. Anders was able to hold onto you along with a piece of wreckage. We clung to it as the storm raged. I had never been happier once we spotted the island. Even after surviving all that, you wouldn't wake up! I knew the only thing I could do was aid Anders," I told and touched his face.

"We are a pair, you and I, Hawke," he said and smiled down at me, kissing my forehead lightly.

"I bet you wish you had stayed in Kirkwall instead of joining me," I said and laid my head on his chest once again.

"And miss all this? I'm sure Aveline can keep the city in good order until we find a way back, don't you worry," he joked.

"Are you sure, Fenris? I can't help but wonder if we'll see Kirkwall again. Not that Carver would care if anything happened to me," I said.

"Your brother does not show it, Inara, but he cares for you deeply," he said and touched my forehead, brushing my hair behind my ears. "You mean more to him than he's willing to admit."

"It didn't stop him from becoming a Templar, Fenris. I am the very thing he hates," I reminded him. "For you as well and yet you still love me."

"You are a strong woman," he said. "You do not let you magic define you or rule your very existence. I will never have to fear that you will give into it."

"Does this mean you don't hate Anders as well?" I joked.

"You are not an abomination, Inara. He willingly invited a spirit into his body. He is corrupted by his magic," he said heatedly.

"He helped me save you, my love. Please remember that," I reminded him and placed my hand on his cheek. "Now, we really should stop wasting time. Anders may be back at any moment," I said and leaned in to kiss him again.

I could feel him smile against my lips as his hand wandered to the slit of my shift and I blushed when he discovered I had discretely removed my small clothes while we were in the rain to wash them out and had left them further in to dry. I laughed as he reached up for his tunic top, placing it over my shoulders and rolling me onto my back.

"I couldn't agree with you more," he said, deepening the kiss as I reached out with my spirit magic and he reacted to my touch.

It was something we had discovered he enjoyed, late one drunken night. It happened quite by accident one night while we made love and I reached out to him using my Spirit Magic. I was scared at first that it would drive him away and I continued to worry when he did not return for days. When he did he was hesitant to ask me to use it on him again. At first it only happened when we were intimate and it took some time before I could do it at will.

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><p><em><strong>LOL! Yes, Kris this was totally rewritten! Only you get the originals. <strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways._**_** My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern.**_**_ All comments are welcome.**_

_**Fan art for this chapter is called Everything by Trickbunnie at DeviantArt.**_

**_**Stranded**_  
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_**The Lyrium Song**_

It wasn't long after that the rain stopped and we were able to leave the cave. It was late in the afternoon and I knew that we needed to try to at least look around our immediate area and I stepped out into the sunlight, shrugging on my still slightly damp garment and boots. Since I at least still had my staff, I reached in my robes to hand both Fenris and Anders each one of the daggers I had, which had been given to me by Isabela. I never thought I would have need of them but was grateful she suggested that I carry them anyways. The dagger wasn't the weapon that Fenris was used to carrying but it was better to have some form of protection than to have nothing at all.

There were no clear cut paths anywhere so it took a while to get very far, as there was little else than dense forest in every direction. A little further in there were cliffs Fenris felt confident he could climb and get a better sense of the island but so far we had come across small game to hunt, herbs we could use and plenty of fruit. With all the trees, I felt it might be soon possible to start a bonfire to use as a signal.

As it grew darker I thought I could hear the distinctive sound of running water and followed its source till I found a waterfall and large pool we could use. After our morning coupling and the long walk around our immediate area, I wanted nothing more than to spend time under the falling water, and perhaps use a little magic to heat and relax in and enjoy for a while.

While Fenris and Anders looked around for more wood we could try to use, I made my way down to the pool of clear water. I sat down carefully and began to remove my boots and long socks, sighing once I untied all the laces and removed them. It had been a long walk and I was not used to the rough terrain of the island. I reached back and started undid the ties once again, getting up finally and leaving my shift and robe well away to keep from getting wet. I gently made my way over the slippery rocks and reached my hand out towards the waterfall, finding the temperature to be cool but not intolerable. I quickly stepped under the falling water, washing away the sweat and grime from the day. I stood there for a while, thinking about how much I missed my own private bath in Hightown.

I finally stepped further from the falls and into the pool itself, finding a small natural shelf cut out of the rock that I could sit on. I concentrated and began to will a small amount of heat to the water around me, letting it seep into my weary muscles as I tried to relax a bit longer. I wasn't sure how long Fenris would allow me this time alone. I knew he would not intrude on me while I soaked but for once wished that he would.

Having nothing better to do, I let my mind wander back to yesterday morning, on how my body reacted to being so close to Anders and worried how it would be for him, stuck here with us.

I sat there until my hands began to wrinkle and I knew it was time for me to get out. I made my way back to my clothes and used my shift to dry off, putting on my robes without it underneath. I took the damp garment and socks back to the water and tried my best to clean them a best as I could before wringing them out.

I made my way slowly back to the cave. A few yards away I noticed a shadow move and raised my staff, willing fire to emanate from the tip of the sphere but let it die down once I noticed that it was Fenris. _He had been watching over me. _I thought as smiled at him, wondering if he had been watching me the entire time.

"We're hardly alone for you to be bathing so freely," he grumbled.

"I trusted that you would be around to protect me, should something happen," I laughed softly, reaching out and cupping his cheek with my hand.

He put his hand around my waist and pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly at first, then more urgently, tangling his fingers in my hair. I was surprised to feel moisture on my cheek as he placed kisses on my eyes and cheek. I reached up to inspect what it was as he buried his face in my neck and I realized that what I felt were his tears.

"Fenris, what's wrong?" I asked, feeling him trembling.

"Every time you share your abilities, I see that it causes you such pain. I had preyed you would never need to use it to help me," he whispered softly.

I tightened my arms around him and sighed. "If I had half of Anders ability to heal…I know it's risky but it was my chance to take to bring you back to me," I said and moved back to look at him. I held his hands and waited for his eyes to trail up to mine slowly. "I was so scared, seeing you lying there, unable to help you."

"And I can't bear seeing what it does to you," he said and I leaned into him to kiss him softly.

"I can bear that pain, Fenris. Losing you would be much, much worse," I said and he kissed me. I reached out softly with my magic and touched his neck, watching as he reacted to it. His eyes fluttered back and his kisses intensified, almost bruising my mouth but I was also lost in the sensations as well. The lyrium in his skin sang out to me and it tingled as it traveled over my body.

I was amazed at how much he had changed from when we had first met years ago. Then it seemed I needed to be overly cautious of my every action or of what I said to him. He hated mages with every fiber of his being and here I was: something to remind him of his terrible past. In time he came to trust me, even on the things we didn't always agree on. I wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but I saw past his surliness and fell deeply in love with him.

From the little I was able to piece together, I knew he had a hard time believing that anyone would willingly put themselves at risk for him and I continued to do just that. His love for me has not changed his feelings towards mages, but I knew at least he trusted that I would never hurt him as others had.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Remember this reaction, Kris? This is what I meant. ^_~<strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_

_**Fan art for this chapter is called Rivalry by Ladycrux on DeviantArt.**_

_**Stranded  
><strong>_

_**The Wreckage**_

The next morning we set out early to cover more ground, heading back towards the shoreline to walk the perimeter first to get a better picture of the island we were on. At times I found myself looking out to sea and from what I recalled of the map I perused from the ship's captain to pass the time, I knew this could not be any of the few islands I recall seeing off the coast of Ferelden, as they are known to be populated and we had yet to run into anyone here. I recalled seeing two others off the coast of the Free Marches, one I was certain was also populated and the other was close to the coastline so this could not be it. From what I could see, there was nothing around us for miles.

My heart sinking, I could only imagine that this island wasn't on any map. I kept such thoughts to myself as I sullenly continued to follow the two men over the rapidly uneven terrain. The temperature was rising and I was beginning to curse the mage robes I had worn, which were a gift from my cousin. Granted I may have drowned had I worn the armor I had begun to favor so as not to stand out as a mage in Kirkwall.

By the afternoon, left with my own thoughts I was starting to lose hope when Anders called out.

"Look! Over there!"

I followed where he was pointing and immediately noticed the wreckage, broken up on the rocks not too far from shore. I knew it could not be from our own vessel but felt that perhaps this island was known even if it had not been placed on the map.

_Well it was a very old map_, I said as I tried to convince myself.

We carefully made our way to see if there was more evidence on the shoreline and stopped short when we realized that we came across the remains of a camp, most likely of what had remained of the crew. And most startling was the evidence that the crew at some point turned on each other…and that they had been Qunari.

We walked slowly amongst the remains, turning over various items and finding that they had indeed turned their weapons on each other. I could only imagine that there may have been some sort of mutiny.

_Unless…_

"Isabela," I said.

"Wait. What did you say?"

"Isabela!" I repeated louder as I looked at the bodies. "Isabela said that when the Qunari chased her into the storm years ago, there were more an a few ships and not all of them were said to have reached Kirkwall!"

"There's no way of knowing if this was one of those ships lost in the storm, Hawke!" Anders said, watching as I spun round and round, looking at the bodies.

"No but if there's even remotely a small chance that this was, then maybe Isabela can take that into account to try to locate us," I said and looked at them both. "Otherwise we have no chance," I finally said out loud what I had been dreading all afternoon.

Fenris stood up to me and grabbed my shoulders roughly. "No! Do not believe that for one moment, Inara!" he said and shook me.

I looked at him and felt a few tears fall. "I'm trying, Fenris. Truly I am."

He wiped my tears and kissed my forehead, holding me close. "These bodies have been here a while so there may be a chance," he said.

I stepped back from him and smiled weakly. "I have to believe that if anyone can find us, it's Isabela."

"Well at least Fenris will now have a weapon," said Anders, standing next to one of the remains.

He went over to him and tugged on the large sword, looking at the blade and judged the weight a few times while I turned and looked at another body close by. "There was a Saarebas among them," I pointed at the masked remains. "Perhaps they fought to control him."

"It's possible," Fenris agreed. "If the crew were revealed as Tal'Vashoth then perhaps they thought they could increase their chances of survival with a mage on their side."

"Most likely they killed the Arvaarad who held the leash," I said, finding the Qunari lieutenant's body easily but not finding the device used to control the bound mage. "From what I can see, I think perhaps it was the Saarebas who retaliated against the others once his handler was dead."

"And most likely took his own life," Anders added sadly.

"It is their way, mage," Fenris reminded him.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it!" Anders said angrily.

I heard Fenris tighten his grip on the sword he now carried and I could feel Anders draw on his own magic. Even without a staff, Anders was still a powerful mage and I needed to stop this from getting out of hand.

"Stop it!" I yelled and stepped between them. The moment I did I felt something brush against my shields, the ones I put up to keep my abilities in place. "We should not stay here. With so much death, the veil is thin here," I said and shivered. "Gather up as much as we can use and let's leave this place. I don't know what would happen if we stay here much longer," I ordered, titling my head to shake off the feelings I was having.

The more I shared my spirit energy, the more I became a target. I was lucky that Anders knew just how to pour some of it back into me as he healed me, as it was likely the next time I used it, I would lose myself. This fear was something I shared with no one but I was more than sure that Fenris suspected. It was the outcome he feared would come to all mages who lost control.

I watched as they gathered a few more items before we moved on and gradually the feeling faded but I knew that I should never return there again.


	8. Chapter 8

_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_

**_Fan art for this chapter is called Wounded Coast by Caiterhe at DeviantArt. Used to help set location for the island._**

_**Stranded**_

Discord

We continued to search the island, thinking that perhaps some of the Qunari might have survived the slaughter at their camp but no matter how far we looked, we could find no evidence of their presence anywhere other than the deserted campsite. We found that we were on the lushest part of island, the rest covered in rock and the approach seemed to be difficult, which explained the wreckage. The area looked safe from a distance but it soon became shallow and you could easily run aground on the hidden, jagged rocks.

Fenris wanted to explore the higher ground and as much as I agreed we needed to explore as much as possible, I wanted him to be safe and they went back to the campsite to retrieve a few items while I waited on the shoreline, keeping watch.

I knew I had a few hours before they returned and since I could see only open sea for miles, I sat and took out the dagger I had traded Anders for before he and Fenris left this morning. I had been practicing late in the evening and felt since I had time to spare, I might want to try once again.

I sat and held the blade out in front of me, feeling the coolness of the blade and began to slowly focus my energy in my hands, slowly letting it envelope the blade until it fairly glowed with spirit energy. It felt odd to handle something as small as a dagger and try to feel a connection to it as I could my staff.

Next I tried to envelope the dagger with fire but immediately had to drop it when the handle became too hot to handle. I waited and tried it again, this time adjusting the amount of magic I used. Most of my spells were defensive and I had never deliberately tried to contain the flame on an object I was holding.

Suddenly I felt as if a bubble burst and I realized that I had lost my concentration. The flame sputtered out and I slumped back against the tree I was sitting next to. In order to concentrate, I had not realized I was holding my breath and was now light headed. I shook my head and tried again, this time also concentrating on my breathing as I called flame to the small dagger. I marveled that it was easier to control and let the fire flutter out.

I put the dagger down and rolled the muscles in my neck, feeling all the tension I had and hoped that Anders and Fenris would not take much longer to return. Listening to the waves come up upon the shore was making me sleepy and I did not want to waste the afternoon.

I picked up the dagger to try again, this time calling power into the blade faster now, trying to make it almost as voluntary as when I held my staff. I called frost to envelope the blade and watched as the blade cracked as it froze, this time weary that I might use too much magic but happy that I did not need to drop the cool blade. I felt the coolness recede and felt tired once again.

I got up and walked the expanse of the beach, feeling the heat on my face and arms. I had removed my robes and boots, feeling the sand in-between my toes as I walked and recalled the last time my family and I had been to a beach in Ferelden. As lovely as the ocean looked then it was far too cold to get near the water, much less wander around without boots. I squatted down and grabbed a handful of damp sand and let the water run through my fingers, washing it away.

I heard someone call my name and I looked up to find Fenris and Anders finally returning. I went back to where I left my robes and quickly put it on over my shift before I walked back towards them, holding my boots in my hands. They were carrying various items and from the looks on their faces, I was certain they had probably spent the afternoon bickering. I shook my head at them and watched as they seemed to make the conscious effort to appear normal before reaching me.

"I hope this means you found more we can use," I said as I tried to take in all they carried.

"A lot of odds and ends that we can make use of for now and perhaps a bit more on another trip," Fenris said, looking down at my feet and smiling.

"It didn't look like they had so much stuff!"

"Most of it was a little farther down. I'm guessing they were planning to more it to a different location when they turned on each other," Anders said and handed me a small bag.

I looked inside and found dried herbs and knew that at one time they were poultices but knew that if they had been in the water, they were useless. "Anders we found fresh ingredients everywhere here…"

"Look on the bottom," he interrupted. I checked again and found small bottles of lyrium.

"I can't believe these weren't damaged!"

"There isn't much but it's enough if we need them," Anders said and out of the corner of my eye I could see the disapproval on Fenris' face.

"We're fine right now," I said and closed the pouch. I held my hand out to Fenris and we walked hand in hand back to the cave, discussing the climb tomorrow. I knew Anders and I could never make the climb but with Fenris' lean frame he would have no problem but still I worried about it.

Before it got too late, Anders and I went out to gather more wood to use while Fenris went out to hunt. I had gone with him only once and my natural reaction was to use magic, which left the meat unusable.

"I don't understand how you can tolerate his hatred, Hawke," Anders said while I placed a branch on the growing pile in his arms.

"Fenris will always distrust magic, Anders," I explained, hating that we were having this conversation once again. "But he loves me."

"Then he should learn to accept who you are," he insisted.

"He accepts who I am."

"As a woman he loves, yes. But not as a mage," he said and I gave him a look that said that I refused to continue speaking about it. I placed one last branch on top and walked away from him.


	9. Chapter 9

_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_

_**Fan art for this chapter is called Delicious by Reedan at DeviantArt.**_

_**Stranded  
><strong>_

_**The Waterfall**_

It was early, predawn, when I got up and softly made my way out of the cave, holding my boots in one hand and my dagger in another. I had left my robes folded carefully nearby and put them on only after I had made it away from the two still sleeping men. I carefully made my way down the trail, to sit by the water to continue my training, knowing that today would be a very busy day even if I wasn't sure what my part in it would be. I sat cross legged next against a rock, setting my boots down next to me and took out the dagger once again. I wasn't sure if it was from the repeated use or if I was just getting accustomed to doing it but it seemed to have a residual energy that made it easier for me to connect to and I wondered if this was just the way we felt about all staffs.

I held it loosely in my left hand, needing only to draw a bit of energy before calling fire to the dagger. I watched as it danced over the blade but the handle still felt cool to the touch. I held it out in front of me, turning it this way and that, finally reaching out to feel the heat of the flames as close as I dared. I held fire for as long as I could before allowing it to finally wink out. I could feel the effort of holding the spell for so long as a line of sweat rolled lazily down the side of my face.

Next, I called Frost and watched the blade freeze and appear translucent, emitting vapors that were cool when I passed my fingers over it. I pulled back and watched as the dagger returned to its normal state. I wondered where Isabela had found it, as any other blade might have shattered with the amount of magic I was using through it. I had never considered that some could be forged with a mage's use in mind.

I sat back and leaned against the rocks while a few minutes, watching leaves dance upon the clear water. I had placed the dagger on the ground in front of me and could still feel a connection to it somehow and began to wonder if I could do the same without touching it…

"I had wondered where you had gone off to," a low voice said from nearby and I smiled, palming the dagger and hiding it in the folds of my skirt.

"Can't a girl get a little privacy?" I joked as I watched him approach. I smiled at his sleep tousled hair and hoped he had not been worried over my absence.

"Stuck on a deserted island without only the mage and myself," Fenris said and helped me to my feet. "I don't know how much more privacy you could possibly need, Inara."

"Hmm, I take it Anders is still asleep?" I asked as he leaned in to kiss me.

"He was when I woke to find you were gone," he said and proceeded to kiss my neck. "I don't like waking up alone, you know."

He proceeded to trail kisses up towards my ear and despite my best efforts, I felt the dagger slip through my fingers and fall on the ground at my feet. Fenris looked down at what I had dropped and squatted to pick it up.

"I see you've been keeping yourself busy," he said and looked closely at the dagger. "Somehow it feels different."

"I've been practicing, using it as I would a staff. I'm not sure how, but it seems to hold a residual amount of my magic now the more that I use it," I said as I took the blade away from him, tucking it away quickly. I was worried he would argue again, as he had when I suggested the exchange with Anders, even knowing that I wanted to continue the training I had begun in Amaranthine.

"I felt it when I touched the blade," he said and got up slowly, looking at my lips intently for a moment before he kissed me again, pushing me back against the rock and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Perhaps we should make the most of the privacy," I suggested when he moved away and I was finally able to breath. "We don't need to worry about him seeing this," I said and stepped back from him, untying my robes and letting it fall to the floor. I stepped out of the garment and wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him carefully, feeling the coolness of his armor on my bare skin and the light touch of his gauntlets as he caressed my back.

"You are a sight to behold, my love," he said huskily, looking down at me as I looked into his green eyes.

"One more appreciated under the waterfall, I assure you Fenris," I said and walked slowly away from him. I heard his growl in response and gave a small laugh, turning to see him quickly undoing the buckles of his armor and placing them on a nearby rock, along with his clothes and gently placed my robes next to his. I stepped closer to the falls, letting the water rain down over my hair and looked back at him.

"The water is cold, Inara," I heard him grumble before I stepped further away from him and he had no other choice but to join me under the falls.

"Then join me and I'll see if I can do something about that," I said, holding my hand out to him. I watched the lyrium in his skin react the moment our hands touched and he pulled me into his arms. I reached up and moved the silvery strands of hair out of his eyes as he looked at me intently, his hands brushing up and down my spine. "Better?"

"Always."


	10. Chapter 10

_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_

**_Fan art for this chapter is simply Anders the Healer by mhairya at DeviantArt._**

**_Stranded_**

**_Just a Bit of Magic_**

Over the next few days, we roamed over most of the island and were more than certain that there were no other inhabitants. Anders and Fenris made trips back to the Qunari camp, while I stayed well away. The supplies they retrieved from the wreckage site were meager but they consisted of various rope, some material, and a few new weapons for Fenris. Anders found dried herbs as well but we had spotted fresh ones on the island and decided not to take the ones he found. He also found crates of various items which he packed up to show me later that evening.

To my delight, the Qunari had packed simple soaps to use, as I was in desperate need of something other than water to clean with after several days of wandering. Laughing, I threw my arms around him and to his surprise, kissed him once on the lips as I took a small piece, determined that I would not go to bed until I was finally clean. I quickly retrieved the small dagger from my pack, as I had decided that my hair was too long to handle in this heat any longer.

I made my way down to the pond and sat on a rock by the water, running my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath before I started. I had never cut it before and quickly learned to grab small amounts, which took longer but it meant not pulling on my hair too much. I let my hair fall in a pile in front of me, feeling how much lighter I now felt with it gone. I knew it wasn't as well done as when Orana cut it but it would have to do. Finally I stripped down to my smallclothes, as Fenris had expressed on more than one occasion that he did not trust that Anders had not seen me bathing. I got as close to the falls as possible to soak before using the small bit of soap, washing my hair and body, feeling truly clean for the first time.

I was careful not to drop what remained of the bar as I made my way into the pool to soak. I also wanted to wash my smallclothes, which I had so far only been able to rinse at various times of the day but to finally get them somewhat clean made me happier than I've been. Ever since I had broken down at the Qunari camp, Anders had been especially attentive to me, trying to find ways to keep me occupied. I knew that Fenris hated him for it, but was grateful at the same time.

I found that Fenris was a patient hunter, easily catching small animals with the small dagger I had given him and when I returned, I found that he and Anders were preparing the hares which were in abundance. It was the one thing I was not allowed to help with as I was a terrible cook, something my mother could not instill in me no matter how hard she had tried.

I walked back in and sat down by the fire with my bundle of hair in my lap, which I proceeded to toss into the fire to burn. Fenris and Anders looked at me and I smiled up at them, knowing that I had done a poor job but feeling proud of myself for doing it nonetheless.

"Feeling better, Inara?" Fenris asked as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Much better," I laughed as I shook my hair out.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught Anders smiling but he would not look at me. I knew that my impulsiveness earlier had caught him off guard and I worried that I would need to find some way to speak to him about it. I knew that despite all our precautions, it was still obvious that Fenris and I were intimate on more than one occasion and I was beginning to wonder if he was actually telling Anders to leave us alone.

As it had not rained, I knew that we could start to build the signal fire we could use. We all took turns keeping watch for ships but we knew that it was still too soon for anyone to know that something had happened to us. On the days I knew they were scouting near the Qunari ship, I would walk the shore and occasionally practice focusing using only the small dagger I had traded Anders my staff for. Fenris at first did not like when I had made the trade until I showed him the little progress I had been making.

I watched as they set the meat by the fire to cook and washed up in the slightly broken basin they had recovered from the campsite. Fenris sat by me and watched the meat, running his fingers through my short hair and chuckling as he found longer strands amongst the short ones. After a while, Anders got up and left the cave abruptly and I finally turned to ask Fenris what had been on my mind all day.

"Answer me honestly on this Fenris," I said as I turned to him. "Have you been making Anders leave to give us time alone?"

I watched the corner of his mouth twitch even as he quickly turned away and I knew he had. I could feel my face flush now that I knew that every time Anders left us alone, he thought it was for that reason alone. I quickly got to my feet and walked out of the cave with Fenris calling after me. I knew he would not follow me.

I wandered back to the waterfall and sat down by the pool, leaning back on a rock. I still had my dagger with me and held it up to concentrate on it, channeling magic to the small weapon and watched it glow. I then concentrated on my true goal, a spell I had seen my cousin use and it had led to the discussion on being able to use magic without the use of a staff. I was intrigued and spent days practicing with him, trying to learn the basics. It was time consuming and I knew that I lacked proper concentration to get it right in the small amount of time we were together but I had promised him I would master it for the next time we met.

I concentrated on manipulating the spell to call forth small blades and as I closed my eyes, I could feel the spell surround me. I pushed a little more magic into the dagger and opened my eyes, surprised that hanging in the air around me were several spectral blades that matched the one in my hand. In the days before I had only managed a handful and now there were no less than a dozen. I laughed when I realized that as I moved my hand, the blades followed suit.

"You're getting better at that," I heard a voice say softly nearby and I nearly lost all my hard won concentration.

"It's all I've been doing when the two of you went back to explore the Qunari camp," I said and turned to Anders, who was standing in the trees to my right.

I watched as he made the sphere of the staff glow as he approached me and it was getting harder for me to concentrate as I recalled all the times he had so conveniently left Fenris and I alone.

"It took me a lot longer to be able to focus without a staff, though honestly I prefer to have one," he said and looked down briefly at it.

"I'm sure it will surprise many if I can learn to do this properly," I said and allowed the blades to fade. "But right now it's very draining and I can only hold them for a little while."

"I'm sure it will get easier the more you work on it," he said and reached his hand out towards me. "Fenris asked me to look for you before supper gets cold."

I looked at his hand and smiled as I took it and jumped when I felt a spark as our hands touched. I saw the dazed look on his face and immediately got up to check him for any burns but was thankful there were none.

"That…was my fault," he admitted when I looked back up at him again. I could see something in his eyes that he had been trying to cover up and I had been trying to ignore. He looked away first. "We should get back before he comes looking for us."

I watched him walk away before following him slowly, recalling Isabela making a comment about his use of electricity. At the time it did not occur to me what she meant but now I can only imagine that it was similar as when I used spirit energy. I then began to wonder how I was going to get through this, now that I was fairly certain why Anders was behaving differently around me.


	11. Chapter 11

_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_

_**_**_**Stranded  
><strong>_**_**_

**_Prayers_**

I had finally run out of excuses why Fenris should not chance the climb. We had stubbornly argued the reasons back and forth, with Anders having long ago given up on making either of us see reason. As I looked up the wall face, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I turned to him to try one last time to dissuade him but stopped when I saw the determined look on his face. With the rope coiled around his shoulder, he easily found nooks to grab onto as he scaled his way up slowly. About half way up, I turned and walked away, unable to watch the higher he climbed.

"He'll be fine, Inara," Anders said when I stormed past him.

"Stubborn elf!" I snapped past him in the direction of the wall. "What exactly is he proving by going up there alone? If something were to happen...what then? How would we reach him?" I paced back and forth to try to work off the excess nervous energy I was feeling ever since he decided he was making the climb alone.

"He won't put himself in any dangerous situations," he said and put his hand on my arm to stop me. "Go…do something that will keep your mind off it. I'll wait until he returns."

I looked at his hand briefly before nodding at him. This had been the first time we had been alone in days and he had been rather successful in avoiding my eyes or remaining with me alone. Suddenly everything I needed to say was gone and I was the one who needed to get as far away from him as possible.

"I'll be at the waterfall," I said and he removed his hand. "Look for me there if anything happens."

"Don't worry, Inara," he said as I walked away quickly.

I walked towards the beach and sat in the sand, looking out to the open sea to try to calm my nerves. I tried not to think of every little thing that could go wrong. _They both insist on putting themselves in harm's way! _I raged silently, thinking of how Anders pulled me away from the crumbling deck and being thrown aside as it hit his shoulder instead. I had managed to heal his shoulder but we were blocked in one of the smaller cabins with no room to escape. Fenris risked coming in when none of the crew would help him.

_Maker, please keep them safe. I cannot bear it if something should happen to either of them, _I thought silently.

Having stayed longer than I should, I got up and brushed off my robes, eager to do something to keep my mind occupied. I made my way through the impromptu paths Fenris had created to the various parts of the island until I reached the waterfall. It had grown humid in the afternoon's sun and I wanted nothing more than to soak for a few minutes in the cool water but resisted, in case I was needed to help Anders heal Fenris.

_Stop it, Inara, _I argued silently to myself. _He'll be fine._

I sat by the water's edge with a branch I was sharpening. By the wreckage, the rock outcrops made a perfect habitat for various marine life and I had suggested supplementing our diet with fresh fish on occasion. While I was unable to return to the wreckage site, the others could try their luck. I watched the pieces of bark as they drifted on the water's surface but was fascinated when they disappeared suddenly. I grabbed one of the other smaller branches and threw it out in the water, watching it float before it was pulled under.

Now thoroughly curious, I began to unlace my boots and removed my socks and robes, walking out into the shallow areas of the pool. The water was crystal clear and no matter where I checked, I could not find the branch I threw in. I made my way slowly to the deeper areas, closer to the waterfall and still could not fine it but was feeling a slight undercurrent from under the falls.

_Curious, _I thought, thinking of ways to find out exactly what was behind the waterfall.

"**Inara!**" Anders called out from farther up the path and I made my way slowly back the shallow edge to get out. I threw on my robes and grabbed my boots, running to meet him, afraid that something terrible had occurred.

"What happened?" I asked, shaking slightly.

"He's back but a bit cut up. It must be from the terrain surrounding the cliff," he said and I quickly put on my boots to follow him, worried over what I would find when we returned.

I stopped short once I spotted him, sitting on the ground with his feet bandaged. I held my tongue even when I badly wanted to chide him for being right but after seeing the bloody rags, I made my way calmly to his side.

"What happened?" I asked as I knelt down by his feet.

"It's nothing," he said stubbornly.

"You're bleeding, Fenris. That's something. Now I will ask you again, what happened?" I repeated as I watched Anders return with a few of the fresh poultices he had been making.

"Inara, can you please move closer to Fenris? I need room to finish this," he said but would not look at me.

"What aren't you telling me, Anders?" I asked through gritted teeth and refused to budge.

"It's nothing," Fenris said and tried to pull me away but hissed when I lost my balance and accidentally brushed against his leg. I noticed the blood seeping through the bandage and turned back to him.

"Maker's breath, Anders! Why haven't you healed him?" I asked even as I felt Fenris grasp my arm.

"Because he wouldn't let me," he said as he put the herbs down.

"How bad is it?" I asked, finally grabbing Fenris' hand as he had begun to dig his fingers into my arm.

Anders hesitated as he looked first to Fenris and then to me and shook his head. "It's bad," was all he said.

Fenris swore but I reached out to keep him from moving around more. "And he refused you to ask for my help, didn't he?"

"Yes."

I turned and leaned closer to Fenris and placed my fingers on his lips. I could see he was in great pain and had been trying so hard to hide it from me. "Do not even think of refusing my help, you stubborn elf! If Anders says it's bad, then I trust that it is something he needs my help with. I will not stand idly by and watch you bleed to death, do you hear me?" I whispered to him loudly.

I could see the pain my words caused him but finally he nodded and I placed a quick kiss on his lips before turning back to Anders.

"Inara, are you sure you're ready for this?" Anders asked as I sat back on my heels, blocking out everything around me.

"Even if you used all the small bottles of lyrium, it might not be enough," I said, feeling the tingling sensation as I felt the pull of my own mana build up deep inside. When I felt as if it would burst from my skin, I nodded to him to let him know I was ready.

I let down my shields and held my hand out to Anders, feeling the instant connection to him as he placed his hand in mine and I could feel the flow from within me travel between us as he tapped into the offered mana to heal as quickly as possible. Only this time, I could somehow see the ligaments, muscles and skin as they were slowly repaired, hearing Fenris hiss at the slow process.

As fascinating as it was, I felt the instant the connection was severed and rocked backwards but this time the intense burn I often felt was missing. My body felt warm but nothing compared to the other times but I had a hard time moving once I landed on my side. I felt Anders move towards me and place his hand on my forehead, his own magic flowing through me.

"What's wrong with her?" Fenris demanded.

"She's exhausted and needs to rest," he assured him but even I could hear his barely disguised concern.

_Dear Maker, why can't I move? _


	12. Chapter 12

_**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**_

_**To dear Brenna, thanks for being patient. **_

_**_**Lovely fan art for this chapter is called Wake up Sleepy head by Darylhatter at DeviantArt.**_**_

_**Stranded**_

_**Awake**_

I knew I should be concerned once I could no longer move but the exhaustion I felt pulled me under and I gave into it. I was just thankful that I was in no pain as I felt myself drift away and was at peace. I felt Anders repeatedly use his magic to be certain that I was physically alright, but could find no reason why I did not wake as quickly as I normally would. Somehow, even thru the haze, I could sense Fenris. I could feel the lyrium in his skin as he stayed by my side, begging me repeatedly to open my eyes. Even in my unconscious state, he was a bright light near me, with the lyrium singing out to me as his emotions took over. I could feel his fear, his pain, and even his sadness. And yet I could do nothing to break free to assure him I was alright, that I could hear his pleas.

When Fenris finally drifted off, I felt myself give a little gasp and immediately felt a cool hand press upon my forehead. I could sense Anders was exhausted, having not slept as he constantly checked on me, draining his own mana to figure out exactly what had happened to me. He had been trying to delve into every possible reason why I would not wake up. I was only happy that it had not led to animosity between the two of them when Anders could find no answers for my present state. Somehow, caring for me came first between the two men and they had no choice but to set aside everything until I woke on my own.

"What happened?" I whispered, feeling the effects of lying in the same position for so long. My limbs were stiff and my muscles started to cramp as I moved. I looked around and could see that we were back in the cave, by the warm fire. My throat was painfully dry and I wondered just how long I had been unconscious.

"The little I can tell is that you exhausted yourself," he said, brushing my hair away from my cheek. "Are you thirsty?" he asked and I nodded. He took a clean cloth and dipped it into some clean water, passing it over my dry lips before re-soaking it again so I could suck the moisture from the cloth.

"Fenris?" I finally managed to asked, trying to sit up and was firmly pushed back down. I could see his sleeping form not far from me and was content enough to stop resisting.

"He's fine, Inara but you need to rest," Anders insisted as I finally gave up trying to sit up and lay back down once more. I heard the soft pop of a bottle being uncorked before feeling the cool glass on my lips, coughing on the bitter, gritty liquid as I swallowed instinctively, not wanting to waste a drop.

"What…Anders! Why…" I asked as I continued to try to get the taste of the chalky mineral out of my mouth.

"I've checked, Inara. You've completely exhausted yourself and you haven't touched any of the lyrium," he said as he tried to make me drink more but I turned away. "Ever since the Qunari camp you've needed to keep your shields up constantly. I've seen that you've been practicing non-stop. How you can manage without lyrium is…_impossible!"_ he looked at me as I continued to stare at the fire. He finally re-corked the small bottle and placed it back in the small pouch carefully. "We've been worried sick about you. Nothing I did could reach you…" he said softly and took my hand.

"I know," I admitted finally. "I can't describe it but I could feel your magic."

"You could feel my magic?"

"Yes," I said and turned back to him. "It's almost warm and cool at the same time."

"This wasn't like the last time you shared your abilities with me. Something's changed, hasn't it?" he asked as he soaked the rag once more, brushing it over my lips.

"Yes," I said. "Somehow, there was very little pain this time. Other than not waking right away, I was relatively fine only extremely exhausted. And yet…" I hesitated and looked over at Fenris' sleeping form once more but his back was to me.

"What?"

"I saw it all, Anders, as you healed Fenris. I saw it happen. All the times that I've shared my ability, I've never actively been involved in what was happening. I could see what you were trying to do as you healed him and it was amazing."

I could see he took in what I said and I knew he had no answers for me. I had always known that I was alone in my abilities and even after everything I had done for Kirkwall, I was still distrustful of reaching out to the First Enchanter. If the Knight-Commander thought I had become a danger, she would not hesitate hunting me down herself and stripping me of the title of Champion. It was my greatest fear. To have worked so hard to be seen as something other than a mage and to lose it all because of something I have no control over.

Worse still, I could see Fenris and the others forcing their way into the Gallows to try to save me. I was used to risking myself to help those who needed me but it hurt me to know those I cared for above all would throw their lives away. It was more than one person deserved.

"I don't know what to tell you, Inara. If I had stayed in contact with the Ferelden healer I knew, she might be able to answer your questions," he said finally. I gave him a small smile, knowing he did not easily share much of his life before coming to Kirkwall, much less his life in Ferelden. Remembering life before merging with the spirit Justice…I wish I had known the carefree man Anders had once been. It saddened me to see the weight he carried on his shoulders, knowing he would continue to carry it even if he managed to free himself.

"It's alright, Anders," I said and yawned, finding it difficult to keep my eyes open any longer.

"Get some rest, Inara," he said and placed a light kiss on the back of my hand.


	13. Chapter 13

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**__**_**_**____**_**_**_**Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention is called Hush by Shaliara and You Are My Everything by Mistiquarts at DeviantArt.**_**_**_**__

**_Stranded  
><em>**

**_Sweet Kisses_**

I felt gentle, yet calloused fingers stroking the side of my face. I heard him whispering to me and though I did not know exactly what he said, I could feel the meaning behind them as I slowly opened my eyes. The fire had died down and I was covered with one of the larger pieces of material they had salvaged from the wreckage site. His eyes shone down on me as I smiled back up at him, reaching up to wipe the tears on his cheek as he leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"Fenris…" I started to say as he kissed his way down to my lips.

At first he was oh-so-gentle, not wanting to overwhelm me until I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to pull him closer. I could feel the rumble deep in his throat as he tightened his arms around me, deepening the kiss until I was breathless. He pulled back suddenly and I looked up at him gasping and dazed, lifting my head to search for his lips once again. Instead, he dropped his head on my cheek and I felt him shaking. I reached over with my right hand and squeezed his shoulder.

"Fenris, it's alright…I'm right here," I said softly as he looked up and tightened his arms around me once me. I gave a tiny squeak when I my ribs began to protest.

"I thought…I had lost you, Inara," he said haltingly as he released me and touched my face. "I begged you; I begged the Maker…I would give anything just to see you once more!_ I_ _begged!_ But you wouldn't wake up. I curse that you have this power over me! I would rather die than to lose you."

"I'm so, _so_ _sorry_, my love," I said and smiled up at him. "I was here, listening to you. No matter what, you wouldn't give up on me, calling out to me while I slept. You were my anchor, my bright shining star," I whispered.

"You promised…"

"I made no such promise, Fenris. I will never stand idly by while you are in pain. Why can't you understand this?" I asked.

He looked at me with such doubt in his eyes as I reached up and touched his face, once again wiping the tears from his eyes. I needed to reassure him, even if I knew it was wrong. I reached out with my magic, softly at first and he pressed his cheek gently onto my palm, kissing my wrist as his eyes softened as it started to affect him. He leaned his head down and kissed me again as I trailed my hand down his back, touching as much of his bare skin that I could reach, feeling the lyrium react to my touch.

"Inara!"

I pulled away first, glancing quickly at Fenris' glazed over eyes as he shook his head and I looked over at Anders, who had finally returned with an armful of dry branches. He carefully added more branches to the fire before reaching out and helping to rekindle it. Fenris looked at me, the sad lost look that had been in his eyes only minutes before was gone now and I knew he would not question why.

"Fenris, I need to check Inara now that she's awake. Perhaps you could hunt something, as I'm sure she's starving," he said in a patient voice but avoiding looking at us. I looked up at him and was glad he did not scowl at the request as my stomach chose that moment to grumble. He laughed as he bent to kiss me quickly one last time and quickly got to his feet. I watched as he sheathed the dagger in his belt and walk out past Anders, who used a branch to move the branches within the fire.

He got up and walked towards me slowly with one of the cracked containers full of water, soaking a rag and wiping my face. I watched his face carefully as he continued to avoid my eyes and waited for a few more minutes before he spoke.

"I believe I understand now," he said as he put the rag down in the water and looked at me. "It's him…or the lyrium in his skin. He's the reason you haven't needed to take any." I looked away from his accusing eyes. "Maker's breath, Inara! What are you thinking? Does he even know? He already hates mages!"

"I didn't mean for this to happen! Please believe me, I had no intention of ever doing it again but the sad fact remains that the bottles of lyrium will not sustain either of us!" I whispered loudly to him. "Have you ever gone through withdrawal? My father tried to help an apostate newly escaped from the Ferelden tower. She went insane!" I struggled to sit up, pushing his hand away when he tried to help me. "She gave in to it, Anders. She became an abomination. Carver…" I sighed at the memory of my youngest brother standing up to the twisted form, struggling to carry the broad sword. It was then I started to fear him, just a little.

"But even before you met Fenris, I've never seen you struggle with…"

"My abilities allow me some reprieve," I said and looked at him. "It's rare for me to use so much without needing lyrium. And once I met Fenris," I said and looked away. "It was an accident."

"It's your spirit he reacts to," he said and I nodded, feeling ashamed. "Show me."

I looked back at him, not sure I had heard his whispered words clearly. "You want me to…show you?"

He held out his hand to me and I hesitated, looking at his offered hand before gently taking it in my own. I trailed my fingers over his rough palm, tracing the lines that made it uniquely his, feeling the power that lay just under the surface. I looked at his trusting brown eyes, breathing in deeply as I called a small amount of spirit to my hand. Through the connection, I could feel everything he felt: his confusion, his sadness, his pain since joining with Justice.

I felt my heart race but could not let go as I watched his breath catch in his throat, his eyes begin to flutter. I watched him lick his lips and was caught off guard when he leaned forward and kissed me. I reached up and touched his rough beard, trailing my nails lightly over his stubbed chin. I had never tried to share my spirit with another mage and the intense feeling I was getting was somehow different than what I had when joined with Fenris, feeling the lyrium in his skin calling out to me. What I felt was Anders own magic calling out to me and it was just as powerful. Something beyond that called out to me and just as quickly shut me out.

_Was that Justice?_

I pushed him away and looked at the dazed look in his eyes.

"Oh dear sweet Maker," I whispered.

_What have I done?_


	14. Chapter 14

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention DAII FenrisxHawke by Ann-Immortal at DeviantArt._

__**_**_**_**Title was insisted on by my devious friend Brenna. As always, thanks to my cheering squad: Brenna and Kris!  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_Stranded  
><em>**

_**_Rising Temptations_**  
><em>

It was a few more days before I was able to venture out on my own. Fenris had constantly been at my side, helping me get around and to his complete annoyance, Anders refused to give us any space. Now that he knew just how I could use my spirit energy, he always managed to stay close to us. I was rarely allowed to be left alone with either of them and had started to feel closed in. I finally demanded to be left alone and slowly made my way to the beach, looking out at the sea.

I didn't want to discuss what had really been bothering me.

At nights, I woke drenched in sweat, having felt something constantly trying to tear at my shields. It started off gradual, like a slight buzzing sound and I ignored it, working harder to protect myself. I was well aware that my magic made me a beacon to all sorts of spirits and demons alike. At an early age I needed to learn to shield myself or go mad from things others could not see. My father taught me that my abilities meant I could never be too careful awake or asleep. I finally realized that this was something I had to accept as much as magic was a part of my life. But as time went by, I could feel it almost like a constant pressure around me. After what happened with Anders, I couldn't bring myself to talk about it.

I found myself on my usual stretch of sand, sitting under the shade and staring out into the ocean. The sounds of the surf provided enough of a distraction that I could ignore the buzzing for a little while. I thought of home, wondering how much longer it would be until they realized we were missing. After everything that had occurred after defeating the Arishok, I knew I could always count on Isabela. Despite the overwhelming odds I wouldn't allow her to be taken and I knew she would never give up on finding us.

I shrugged off my robes and managed to sleep for a while, until it became too hot to remain where I was. I decided it was time to cool off before rejoining the others and I sighed when I knew that the way I demanded to be left alone would result in my needing to apologize to Fenris. He barely tolerated Anders now that he would not leave us alone and had stormed off when I would not agree to him accompanying me.

I made my way slowly to the waterfall, barely glancing at the familiar trail until a figure moved beside me and I jumped back, dropping my robe and calling fire to my hands before realizing that it was Fenris. For once, he was not wearing his armor.

"I'm glad to see that you're much better, Inara," he chuckled as I relaxed and shook out my hands, releasing the fire that I called. He walked up to me and picked up my discarded gown, brushing off a few leaves and twigs before handing it to me.

"I've had more than enough time to rest, Fenris," I said and gave him a brief smile, taking an involuntary step back.

He moved even closer to me and before I realized it, my back was against a tree. "I returned to apologize for my rude behavior but you had already gone. I did not want to disturb you."

"I'm sorry about the way I acted earlier," I said and put my hand on his arm, lightly trailing my fingers on the exposed side of his bicep.

"I wasn't aware that you felt crowded…I will leave you alone."

He started to move away when I tightened my grip on his arm, looking down at the ground. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead as I wrapped my free arm around his slim waist. He trailed kisses down my check, stopping only briefly to brush my lips before continuing to my collar bone, pushing the strap aside to kiss my shoulder. I shivered as he nipped at the tender flesh and I could feel him smile against my skin as goose bumps spread across my skin. I missed being this close to him but the temptation of his skin was almost too much to bare.

"What amuses you?" I asked him when he looked up at me, his hand trailing down my arm to my hand and taking it in his own.

"I find this much more preferable," he said and kissed my hand, licking each fingertip, nipping briefly before moving to the next one.

"Preferable to what?" I asked a bit distractedly. He was definitely making it harder for me to concentrate and he knew it.

He kissed the palm of my hand. "Anders insisted on giving me a cursory exam while you were gone."

I raised my eyebrow at him as he kissed the inside of my wrist and I knew he could feel that my pulse was racing. "He did what?" I asked but deep down I knew that what he was checking for was if I was having an effect on Fenris' health.

"He insisted it was to check the wound he healed," he said and I placed my hand on the side of his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him once more.

I dropped the robe once more as he deepened the kiss, feeling quite satisfied at the sound that he made when I opened my mouth to him. We laughed as we fumbled briefly with our clothing, unable to be apart long enough before reaching for the other once more. His hands finally reached down the side of my simple shift to the slits on the sides, reaching under to quickly remove my smallclothes. I buried my fingers in his hair as he took hold of each leg and lifted me slightly. I wrapped my legs around his waist, ignoring the rough feel of the bark digging into my shoulders, concentrating only on him but stopped when I saw the look in his eyes change.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried that he had changed his mind. I could see the look that said he wanted something but was unsure how to ask.

"_Please_?" was all he said quietly.

"_Fenris_…" I wanted to try to explain why I shouldn't when he moved his hips to convince me, whispering my name and with the flood of sensations, I couldn't think of a reason to stop.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Am I still evil, Lyall? *gloats with Hope Crusher!*<em>**


	15. Chapter 15

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to my crazy cheering squad: Brenna and Lyall.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called DA2: All that Remains by Runaire at DeviantArt._**  
><em>

**_Stranded  
><em>**

**_The Choices We Make_**

I sat looking out into the ocean, thinking of how things had gotten so out of control so quickly. I was exhausted from lack of sleep but my mind would not allow me the peace I so desperately desired. I touched my shoulder and thought back to how it all started…

_…I was sitting by the pool, using a wet piece of rag to clean the blood off of my left shoulder. I had pulled my arms out of the simple straps of my shift, holding it as best as I could to cover my breasts as I dipped the cloth into the clean water once more. It was hard to convince Fenris that the cut was shallow and could be easily healed, even if I did not have Anders' advanced abilities and could not heal it myself using my own magic. I felt guilty using a bit of compulsion to send him away so I could tend to the wound before going back to camp. I wanted to avoid explaining it to Anders._

_ I was so intent on my task that I did not hear him approach until he was kneeling behind me. I jumped as he moved my hand away and hissed when he saw that it was still bleeding._

_ "Inara, why did you not come to me to heal this?" Anders asked and I refused to turn to look at him, instead clutching my shift tightly before I answered._

_ "I didn't want to trouble you with something so small…"_

_ "This hardly qualifies as small!" he said as he grabbed the rag out of my hands and soaked it once more. "Your shoulder won't stop bleeding this way and even with a poultice, it might have gotten infected."_

_ "I didn't think…"_

_ "No, I imagine you weren't thinking clearly when you got this," he said and I refused to reply as he pressed the wet cloth to my skin once more. "I don't understand why you let him do this to you, Inara."_

_ I knew that if I didn't answer he would jump to his own conclusions and I dreaded the arguments that would break out between the two men. As much as I was embarrassed to speak of something so intimate between Fenris and I, remaining silent would only look worse in Anders' eyes._

_ "He doesn't do it to hurt me, Anders," I said finally. "And he's never done it this badly."_

_ I could feel the change in him, taking in what I said. "How often does he…"_

_ "He never gets this carried away," I replied softly, feeling him touch my shoulder lightly and I turned slightly to see that the bleeding had lessened. I felt his warm hand hover above my shoulder and I could feel the familiar brush of his magic as he healed me. I closed my eyes, seeing his magic spread across my skin, knitting the torn muscle and skin. I knew there would be a scar, but at least it would no longer bleed. _

_ When he did not remove his hand I turned slightly to him. _

_ "Does he…hurt you?" he asked softly and I turned away from him._

_ When I did not answer, he griped my shoulder and turned me, moving closer to me. "Never, I swear! It only happens when I use magic on him," I finally admitted. _

_ "Maker's breath, Inara! You don't know what sharing spirit will do to him in the long run," he said fiercely and I turned to him._

_ "I didn't mean for it to happen!" I looked at him, desperately needing him to understand. "It's just…when we're together, I lose all sense of myself," I said, blushing as I tried to explain. "And I cannot deny him when he asks, knowing that he truly trusts no other mage but me…"_

_ "Inara, what you're doing is __**wrong**__," he stressed and I looked into his eyes. "I don't think he realizes just how strongly the lyrium in his skin calls out to mages…I feel it too," he admitted. "It could enhance any mages power. But I would never use my abilities to tap into it. Not without his permission, which he would never willingly give."_

_ I lowered my eyes, knowing that everything he said was true. I was ashamed._

_ "What should I do?" I asked quietly. _

_ "You must tell him," he said simply._

_ "I __**can't!**__"_

_** "**__There's no other way, Inara! How do you think he will feel when he realizes what happens when you use you magic on him?" he asked and I hung my head, feeling the sting of tears as I blinked and they fell freely down my face. "What happens if your magic hurts him in some way?"_

_ "I'll be no different than every other mage," I said quietly._

_ "I can't see any other way," he said softly. "You either tell him or leave him alone, Inara."_

_ I looked down and nodded, feeling the tears flowing faster now as I thought of letting Fenris go. It had taken me years to get him to past my being a mage; to become a friend and even longer for him to see that I loved him. To get him to see that he deserved to be loved and cherished; that I felt all these things and more for him. That I would rather die than to lose him. And now here I am._

_About to lose him now…_

_ "I'm sorry but I don't see any other way," he said softly as I breathed deeply, wiping my eyes furiously. "Do you need me to be with you when you tell him?"_

_ "I don't know how but I will," I said and looked up at him. "I just need to be alone right now."_

_ He nodded to me and got to his feet. I stayed sitting on by the water under he was out of my line of sight before I laid down on my side and curled up into a ball, hugging my knees as I sobbed. _


	16. Chapter 16

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to my crazy cheering squad: Brenna and Lyall.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called DA: Be Careful What You Wish For by Mistiqarts at DeviantArt. This pic had such an impact on me the first time I saw it._**  
><em>

_**_Stranded_**  
><em>

**_The Dreams that Change Us_**

I vowed to try to find some way to distance myself from Fenris and was determined to. It seemed the Maker had other plans. Most days I went out gathering herbs with Anders, something I took an interest in to divert myself from the hurtful glances I was getting. He was constantly trying to get me to go off with him instead but I found one way or another not to. Anders was also making it difficult, ignoring Fenris' glares for privacy once I shook my head at him. I knew I couldn't trust myself not to stay away from him.

Even at nights, I could feel his presence near me at all times. I could feel the lyrium even in my dreams, just out of my reach and it only became stronger the longer I resisted. The sense that something was constantly watching me, waiting for my defenses to drop increased, to the point where I barely got enough sleep to function properly the next day. When it became unbearable, I found myself wandering alone down to the waterfall. I would stand beneath the cooling water, allowing it to take my feverish dreams away, along with whatever was constantly there, scratching away at the edges.

I was just so tired of running away.

We had gone out as usual, looking for whatever we could use. What kept me going was the thought that we would be rescued. I had no doubts in my mind that Isabela would find us. To think otherwise would mean giving up hope and that was something I was not willing to do. My main concern was surviving as long as possible. With the amount of lyrium we had on hand dwindling, I didn't want to chance Anders needing to heal as much as possible.

What I was desperately trying to do was get the last look he gave me out of my head. I dropped the herbs into my makeshift pouch I was using and grabbed my sore forearm. This morning before we left, Fenris gripped my arm to stop me and insisted that Anders leave us alone. I could see a strange look on his face as I tried to pull away from him and he pushed me up against the wall. I cried out as my head snapped back and only then did the dark look in his eyes change, softening as he realized the pain in my voice. He let me go and I stumbled quickly after Anders who tried to go back to confront him even as I pulled him away.

As I stared down at the newly turned soil, I thought back the first time I had seen that look in Fenris' eyes.

_It was shortly after that first night I had accidentally used my spirit magic on him and he ran from me. It was the second time he had left my side suddenly and I laid there, my hand splayed on the sheets where he had lain. I felt my heart squeeze in my chest, knowing that I had been foolish to once again give myself to him. I was the thing he hated the most and yet he could not deny that he loved me. _

_ I cried myself to sleep, listening to the rain the city so desperately needed. I could not face the sympathetic looks from my friends just yet, knowing they could easily read the emotions that I could no longer hide from them. Given time, I might be able to pull myself together once more, to force laughter that I did not feel or smile and hope that it reached my eyes. For now, all I could do was hide beneath my sheets and pray that Kirkwall would kindly not burn down around me. _

_ Later I was startled by the sound of loud banging echoing from the front of my home. I groaned once I realized I was all alone, having sent Bodahn away with Sandal for some much needed rest and relaxation while I put myself together again. Having no other choice since whoever it was refused to go away, I stumbled out of bed and threw on the nearest robe. I blindly hurried down the cold staircase, almost tripping over my mabari asleep in front of the fireplace, just to see what could be so bloody important…_

_ "Fenris?" _

_ I was shocked to see him standing in my doorway, completely soaked through and without his armor. He was visibly shaking and breathing heavily as he pushed his way past me into the vestibule. I backed away from him, crossing my arms across my abdomen and looked away from him as he rushed further in, not knowing exactly what he expected to find. I slid down the wall and waited for him to leave once again but instead he dropped to his knees in front of me and hesitantly reached his hand out towards my face, moving my hair away from my eyes. _

_When I looked back up at him, I did not expect the look that he gave me, one of such sorrow as he shifted forward and leaned on his hands and arms. I reached out to him to push back his wet hair so I could see his face, unsure and yet silently preparing myself for him to pull away from me. Instead he moved forward and seemed to collapse towards me, as if all his strength had left him. I could feel his body shake even as his arms tightened around me, whispering over and over that he was sorry._

_After that night, he never left my side again and it was months before he finally admitted what had brought him to my home. For many nights he had fought himself for loving someone who was the very thing he hated and he briefly wished I could be someone else. Soon after that he had been plagued with dreams that he had lost me once again. But this time it was for good. This time, there would be no coming back. _

_He had dreamt I had become Tranquil._

He had that same look earlier. And sadly this time, it was dangerously close to how I felt.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story.<em>**


	17. Chapter 17

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to my crazy cheering squad: Brenna and Lyall.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called DA2 - Wil and Anders by SweetCandyRain._**  
><em>

__**_Stranded_**_  
><em>

**_Alone in the Storm_**

It seemed to have started out of nowhere, this sudden downpour we found ourselves in. Perhaps it was merely my lack of focus because of the events from the morning's confrontation along with my inability to sleep longer than a few hours. It was a nice sunny day like every other for us here on the island but as I started to look inward, thinking back to how everything in my life had come to this, I hadn't noticed the sudden darkness. At least not until the light sprinkle turned into something I could no longer ignore.

I looked up and realized that Anders was calling my name…probably had been for few minutes and I hadn't noticed. He was standing in front of me with his hand held out and I quickly placed the herb I had just pulled into my bag so he could help me up. There was only light overhead coverage in the area of the island where we were at and in moments we were soaked. I gathered the hem of my robes and followed him to the nearest trees but even there, the rain was relentless.

"I can't see anything!" I yelled at him, having to pull him closer to me so he could hear me. I accidentally pulled the tie holding his hair back and had to push it aside.

"We need to find shelter!" he responded and I nodded. I briefly opened my robes and tied the bag around my waist to try to keep it as safe as possible. It was pointless to think they would remain dry but all the hard work of finding and picking the right ones would be wasted if I lost them now. Off in the distance I could see a hillside and we made our way towards it, hoping we might find some shelter there.

We were on the far side of the island, well away from our usual cave. I hadn't noticed we had ventured so far in my haste to get as far away from Fenris this morning. Finding an area we knew was next to impossible with the blinding rain. I slipped several times as I ran after Anders, lucky that I hadn't tripped on any of the exposed roots and twisted my ankle so far. I was having a hard time with the low hanging branches that were in the way, having taken for granted the well-worn paths I was so used to. It was only moments later that I stumbled on some rocks and fell hard against a tree. Even with the rain, falling against the rough bark had opened a gash on my forehead and I looked up at Anders as he kneeled down to heal me.

"It can wait," I yelled, pushing his hand aside and he helped me pull myself to my feet. He tightened his grip on my hand, looking at me for a moment before turning and starting out once again. I ran behind him, following where he placed his feet and glad that he refused to let go of my hand as I was starting to feel a little woozy.

"There!" he yelled and I stumbled into him when he stopped momentarily. I looked past him and tried to make my way by him when he scooped me into his arms and ran in the direction of the hillside.

Up ahead, I could see the dark outline of a cave, much like the one that we had been in ever since while on the island. Even as I was starting to black out, my last thought was on the possibility of finding the dreaded large spiders…

* * *

><p>-)(-<p>

I awoke a little while later, feeling chilled to the bone and shaky. The only warmth I felt was emanating from the blood that was rapidly cooling on my skin as Anders was healing the cut on my forehead. I could feel the bundle of herbs under my head.

"I was hoping to be done before you woke, Inara," he said softly. "I should have known you wouldn't stay asleep for long but I had to be certain we wouldn't find any unexpected visitors while we waited for the rain to stop."

I smiled up at him when he moved his hand away. "Thank you for checking, Anders," I said as I looked away from him. "I know it probably seems silly to you, this fear I have of spiders, but I can't get over…"

"I can't imagine the one Carver brought home all those years ago could possibly measure up to the ones we've seen on the Wounded Coast!"

"Not even close but after waking up with it on your face more than once is enough to make me hate the blighted creatures," I said and shuddered.

"I'm sorry I can't build a fire," he said as he rubbed my arms as best he could but I could feel he was shaking as well.

"It's not like you knew it would rain, Anders," I said and sat up to hug my knees instead, forcing him to back away from me.

"No but we should have prepared for sure an occasion when we were looking around the island," he said and looked outside at the rain. "I'm not even at all certain where we are."

"I guess I didn't leave you much of a choice," I said as I looked further into the darkness of the cave. I felt safer knowing that he had taken the time to search our shelter before checking on me.

"Fenris…"

"This doesn't seem to be working, Anders," I said and slammed my hand on the floor of the cave. "I can't…"

I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, both from the pain I felt from my hand and from all the pent up emotions I had been feeling all day. I gasped when Anders grabbed my hand and leaned forward. I felt the warmth of his magic flow onto my bruised fingers and it distracted me from the feel of his warm lips on mine.


	18. Chapter 18

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna for helping me with the Qunari prayer if the dead passage.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called Martel Hawke by Pic-char._**  
><em>

**___**_Stranded_**__  
><em>**

**_From battles past_**

I quickly came to my senses, pushing Anders back and getting swiftly to my feet. I barely glanced as I rushed past him, knocking over the staff he had left close by as I hurried away.

"Wait…_**ouch**_….Inara!" I heard him say before the wind carried his words away. I didn't stop, even as the rain stung my face making it difficult for me to make out where I was going. "I'm _sorry_!"

I could barely make out what direction I was heading in. I didn't care so long as it was far away from Anders. I could still feel his lips against mine as well as hear the small groan he made when I opened my mouth to him. A minute later I came to my senses when I realized how close I came to using my magic on him, recalling the last time when I had been pushed back from him. The more that I thought about that day, the more I was convinced that the presence I had felt was Justice and he was not pleased.

"_**Inara**_!"

I heard Anders yelling from somewhere to my right and I switched directions, trying to block the branches that were in my way and keep my footing at the same time. I stumbled hard against a tree and paused to listen as I needed to catch my breath from the impact, unsure if he was near me or not since I couldn't hear anything past the storm.

"Inara, wait!"

Anders was close but still had not seen me. I slid down the bark of the tree, hugging my knees to my chest and remained perfectly still. I sat on the wet ground shivering, waiting to see if he was coming in my direction. I knew that I needed to make a decision: to stay here in the cold or try to make my way back. In this weather, I wasn't sure where I would end up but I wasn't about to remain here and catch my death. I placed my hands firmly on the ground and slowly stood up, grimacing from the soreness of my bruised arm. I looked around me, hoping to spot anything I might recognize as a landmark. I groaned when I realized that with the rain and darkness, I was once again lost.

I turned back to the way I had been headed and continued in that direction slowly. I pushed my way through the unfamiliar area, chilled to the bone and growing steadily unsure of where I was. One thing I was sure of, I was alone now and afraid. I started to feel something at the edges of my shields, getting stronger the longer that I hesitated and so I started to run. Ahead of me, I could vaguely make out a clearing and for a brief moment, I thought I was finally in an area where I could get my bearings. In my haste, I stumbled over an exposed root and tumbled forward onto my hands and knees. I heard the fabric of my robes rip and I knew that it meant a long tear open down my back. I could already feel the rain closer on my skin.

"Andraste's _ass_!" I muttered to myself, leaning back to sit on my heels, untying my robe to see the damage before I raised my hand to move my hair out of my face. When I saw where I was, I became even more frightened. I had found myself at the remains of the Qunari campsite and as I started to rise, I began to panic when I felt my shields drop. I looked around in shock at what came after.

The area appeared to transform before my eyes. It was now clear without a single cloud in the sky when a moment ago it had been dark and raining. A yell caught my attention and I turned, surprised as a large figure rushed towards me with a weapon extended. I recognized the grey skin and horns instantly and held my hands out as a spear was thrust at me. I felt it pierce my side and I looked down to see blood seeping through hands that were not mine, hearing a growl instead of my own voice.

_Dear Maker, what is happening to me? _I thought as I looked up at the chaos that was going on around me. The others from the camp were attacking each other for no reason, as if possessed by something they could not see but I could through the mask that was firmly secured over my face. At my feet I recognized the Arvaarad that lay on the ground and I turned back to the one who attacked me.

_Saarebas! _I thought, feeling the unfamiliar magic start to build inside and lash out at those around me, sending them flying. A few got back to their feet and I could see they were no longer Qunari from the strangeness of their eyes. Wounded as I was, I fought back against the creatures that had caused the madness until I knew I was near death. Struggling to breathe, I made my way slowly away from camp, holding my side and stumbling to the small cavern the others had found and had moved what little supplies they could salvage. I knew it was useless. Everyone was dead, the Arvaarad was dead. There was only one thing left for me…

I opened my eyes and was glad to be myself again. I found myself in a dark cave, out of the storm. Chilled, I realized that I no longer wore my robes; I looked around, recognizing immediately where I was. I raised my hands and called fire so I could look around at the immediate area. As I knew I would, I found the remains of the Saarebas from my vision. He had made it into the cave and died from the deep wound in his abdomen. I placed my hand where I had felt the spear wound, almost certain at the time that it had all been real.

I walked slowly towards what remained of the body, feeling drawn to it somehow. "_Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun,_" I recited solemnly as I knelt slowly in front of the fallen Saarebas. Merely reciting the prayer was not enough. I felt the need to do more for him and reached out to untie the mask that had covered his face for so long. There was little reason for me to do it now but I felt that in death, he deserved some small measure of freedom. I knew how the Qunari had felt about mages, why they collared them, and why they placed the mask upon their faces but I could not leave him there with it on.

I struggled with the stubborn knots, wishing I still had the dagger that I had kept in the makeshift pouch full of herbs. I didn't realize that I was no longer alone in the small cave until it was too late. The familiar sense that I had been shielding against was back. I only realized it when I felt the pressure building beside me and I struggled against it briefly before it overwhelmed me and I passed out.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	19. Chapter 19

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**Sorry this took so long to post. I'm also writing two other stories but for some reason I was wrestling with how the next set of events need to happen so I can be fully satisfied with how the story is going. This one has had a mind of it's own from the start!  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: Because the events of the last chapter, this one chapter will switch to Anders POV. I would love to have it all in my Hawke's POV but there's no way that can happen. I know it's odd to switch perspectives but there was no other way. Sorry Brenna, for not getting to your chapter just yet. This had to happen first.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is by A-m-b-e-r-w-o-l-f._**  
><em>

**_**___**_Stranded_**___**  
><em>**

**_A Clash of Wills_**

_How could I be so stupid?_ I thought the moment she moved away. It was much too soon for this! I tried to stop her, to keep her from going back out into the storm but she was on her feet and gone before I could stop her…

_I lost sight of her so quickly!_

I made my way in the direction I had last seen her headed, calling out her name but knowing she wouldn't respond. I rushed out after her but the storm was making it hard to recognize anything. It was worse the closer I got to the shoreline and I decided that I needed to head further inland, hoping she would by some chance find her way back. I couldn't give up until I found her. _If anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself,_ I thought. _And surely Fenris will…_

_ "__**Inara**__!"_

I could hear Fenris calling and knew he had to be close by me. I knew that in this weather it would be nearly impossible for me to find her on my own. I groaned once I realized I would need his help, knowing how he will react once he found out she was missing.

"Fenris!" I called out to him, barely catching a glimpse of him as he passed me in the dark.

"Anders!" he called out. "Where's Inara?" he asked, his voice already lowering dangerously when he noticed that I was alone.

"She went out in the storm…by herself," I replied hesitantly as Fenris snarled, reaching out to grab a fistful of my robes and slamming me back against the nearest tree. Spots of light flashed before my eyes as I turned away from him, thinking for a moment that if he just looked into my eyes he would know just what I had done.

"**How could you lose her?"** he yelled. In his anger, his lyrium markings flared up and I waited for him to lash out. I could feel him shaking in rage but he did nothing. I finally looked at him, shocked that he was that one who turned away as he repeated softly, "How could you lose her?"

_Maker, he thinks this is his fault!_

I waited a moment before answering. "She couldn't have gone far, Fenris. We can still find her."

"You better pray that we do, _mage_," he said quietly, finally turning back to me. He released my robes and turned from me, looking out into the darkness. "Where were you coming from?"

I turned and pointed in the area I believed the cave to be in. I was now far enough away that I couldn't be sure my exact location but he was already moving away from me when a thought occurred to me. _He hadn't asked why she had left!_ I stopped and looked at him briefly once again before turning away guiltily. _Perhaps he just doesn't want to know._

"Anders!" He had already started moving when he realized I hadn't followed him. "Damn you, mage! Stop being useless and help me find her!"

I tried to catch up with him as he ran ahead once more. I was cautiously trying to keep up with him, but he set an impossible pace while I struggled to avoid the low hanging branches that he easily ducked and the roots that kept tripping me up. He slowed when he realized I could not keep up and I could see from the set of his shoulders that he had prepared himself for the worst.

Fenris paused and I struggled to catch my breath, stretching my hand out and leaning against a tree. He turned and glared at me before turning back. I could see the look of panic he was trying hard to push down and I hung my head and sighed.

"Fenris," I started to say and immediately his shoulders stiffened. "I'm sorry…"

"Do not say another word, mage," he said as he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. "She was with you and you couldn't keep her safe!"

He turned and rushed at me, reaching for his sword and I backed away. I held my hand out towards Fenris, hoping to calm the rage I saw clearly in his eyes but reached for my staff at the same time. I barely had time to get a good grip before I felt the impact of the flat side of his weapon against the metal of mine and the vibrations traveled painfully up my arm. I took a step back, calling a quick spell but letting it go when I saw the look of despair on his face. As he swung the blade once again, I dodged farther back and felt it sink deep into the trunk of the tree beside me. He struggled to retract the blade but quickly turned to me, his markings flaring up once more.

"Fenris, stop this!" I said and held my staff out to him but I could see that he would not stop. This fight had been building between us and without Inara, one of us may not live past tonight.

He rushed at me and I swung my staff towards him, calling the one spell I felt I could use that would knock him safely backwards and far enough away from me. He slid on the wet ground and didn't move. I approached him cautiously as he sat up and slowly got to his feet.

"We should not be wasting time fighting," I said as he regained his feet. "Let's go."

"No," he said quietly and walked back towards the tree where his sword was embedded.

"We need to find Inara, Fenris."

"Then go your own way, mage," he said and yanked hard on the blade. I watched as it slowly came free and he re-sheathed it before turning to me. "I will not stop looking for her...but neither will I not follow you."

"We shouldn't split up," I called out to him as he walked away. "Not in this storm!"

Fenris kept walking, even as I called out to him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	20. Chapter 20

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: Because the events of the last chapter, this chapter will also be in Anders POV. I would love to have it all in my Hawke's POV but there's no way that can happen. I know it's odd to switch perspectives but there was no other way. Sorry Brenna...I know I'm evil!  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

_**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called _****Anders Love Story**** by Xellsakura from Deviant Art.**  
><em>

_**_**___**_Stranded_**___**_**  
><em>

**_What Does Not Kill Us_**

_Damn him!_ I thought as I turned and continued the way I was headed. _I will find her myself! _I stumbled along in the dark, hating that I had not found Inara sooner and cursing Fenris for his stubbornness. _I knew that he would not see reason but here and now was not the time for these foolish games!_

I came upon a path and realized that I was once again back at the coastline. I pushed through the dense underbrush and stumbled into a clearing. I groaned as I looked around, having recognized the Qunari campsite that Inara had avoided since we first discovered it weeks ago. I got slowly to my feet and was about to turn back when I spotted something out of place on the ground several feet away from me. It took me a few moments to realize that it was Inara's robes and I quickly made my way to them.

I knelt down to inspect the wet garment, immediately seeing the long tear on the back. _She was here! _I thought as I looked around, hoping to find some indicator of where she had gone to next when a sound pierced the night. I reacted when I recognized that it was Inara's voice, frantically turning round and round until I located where her screams were coming from. I dropped the torn robes when I noticed the path leading away from the campsite, heading in the direction of her voice.

My heart beat faster the louder her screams became as I rushed up the path, knowing there was no time to locate Fenris. I ran faster to an unknown cave that we missed the times Fenris and I had been back to the abandoned camp. I knew of only one thing could have kept it hidden all this time.

My heart clenched once I realized that Inara had stopped screaming.

I almost passed the entrance but stopped once I spotted the faint light coming from within and made my way cautiously inside. I held out the staff and willed the tip of the spear to glow, casting it so that it shone light on everything within the cave. I looked around frantically until I spotted her still form lying on her side and I made my way quickly to her.

"Inara!" I called out to her but she did not stir. I knelt beside her and moved closer to her cautiously. _Please…be alright,_ I thought as I set the staff down, leaving a bit of my magic with it to keep the sphere alight. I could see she was shaking and I immediately called healing magic to my hands as I reached out to her. An uneasy feeling stopped me when I noticed a low sound was now coming from her. I almost didn't hear it so I leaned closer to her. I then realized what the sound was and it chilled me to bone.

_She was laughing!_

I moved back only slightly as I reached her, seeing too late her hand come up towards my face and felt her power as I was thrown back from her by a force I knew could not come from her. I knew Inara's magic and this was not it but somehow, it was coming from her. I slammed into the far back of the cave wall, crying out from the impact before I slid down to the floor. I was dizzy as I struggled to raise my head to watch as she easily stood up and turned towards me. I had my first glimpse her, at the strangeness of her movements, deliberate and almost sensual. Looking at her, I lost all concentration and the staff no longer provided the light I needed. It was then that I realized that what light I was seeing came from her. I reached out weakly but it was now too far from me and the light it provided was dim.

"You're too late," she laughed. It used Inara's voice but it was no longer her. "_This_ one is mine."

I grimaced at the strange, lilting sound of her voice as I reached up briefly to touch my forehead and found that I was bleeding. I looked up and saw that she was now closer to me. _She moves so fast!_ I thought as I tried to move away but in a blink of an eye, she was on me, straddling my lap and leaning forward, merely inches away from me.

"You can't have her, _demon_!" I yelled up at her and she tilted her head away from me. The demon tsk-d as she shook her head, smiling down at me, the face undeniably still Inara's but the shine in her eyes marked her for what she truly was.

"Oh, but I already have her," it said and lifted her arms, examining the body it was now possessing. "Even now, _she_ fights me but the more she struggles, the more time I have to control her," it said and looked down at me. "Do you realize what a rare _find_ this one is, mage?" she asked.

_No!_ I suddenly reached up with both hands, calling fire but she caught my hands easily and pushed them down above my head. "You will not have her," I said as she smiled down at me. "Inara will fight you!"

"Now you're just being rude, mage," she said as I struggled to free my hands as she leaned even closer to me. I moved my face away as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath of my skin. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye as she leaned even closer and rubbed her cheek against mine. What I felt next was something so close to Inara's spirit power only stronger and somehow perverted.

"Do you know what I am now?" she whispered in my ear.

My back arched up as the full effects hit me, sending chills running up and down my spine as her power reached out to me and I could not stop myself as I gasped out loud. "_Desire_…demon!" I finally responded when I finally regained control of myself.

She chuckled as I looked up at her once I realized why she wanted Inara. "I see you realize why I desire this one, mage," she said, trailing her free hand down my cheek and sending more of her power into me until I stopped struggling against her. "This one can manipulate the desires in others," she continued as she trailed her hands down to my chest, working on the ties to my coat. "And there is no denying that what you desire _most_ is her." She pulled open my coat and began pulling up my shirt to trail her cool fingers on my bare skin.

"I've watched this one patiently and I've seen what she does with her magic." she said, moving her hips against me and I groaned as my body responded to her. "Her magic called out to me, even from deep within the Fade."

"From the Fade?" I gasped as her hands reached up to my chest, still using a hint of the magic she had been using but it was enough to make it difficult for me to think.

"This one has the power to pull more from the Fade than she needs and uses it to share with others. This one is the perfect conduit between your world and the Fade," she explained as she leaned down and kissed my neck gently. My skin tingled where her lips touched and try as I might, I found myself unable to resist her but she deliberately kept her mouth out of my reach.

"It is a rare thing for any mage to do without the help of others and makes it them shine out like a beacon to all of my kind," she continued. "I've felt others just as powerful as this one many times before and eventually, they succumb to the madness of the Fade. But this one is strong, her powers so like my own and I will have all of it."

I reached up and grabbed her shoulders, drawing her down and kissing her fiercely. She responded with an urgent passion similar to Inara that I forgot for a moment that the lips pressed against mine were not hers. I was so lost in my desire for her that I forgot my reasoning for responding to her. _A distraction…_

She pulled away so suddenly that I was left gasping, my eyes adjusting as I looked up at her. "If you're waiting for help to come," she said as she was instantly on her feet. "You're sadly mistaken, mage. You only found this cave because I allowed you."

"What do you want?" I asked as I stood up unsteadily.

"Just a bit of fun, until it's time to leave this dreadful place," she said and she walked back to me, tilting her head as she reached out and touched my cheek before lightly scratching her nails down my throat. "I promise you won't regret it."

I laughed at what she suggested. "Leave? What makes you think you can leave here?"

She turned and looked at me. "This one _always_ has a plan, mage."

_Inara was always resourceful, _I thought_, but surely…_

"And if I refuse?"

"How do you plan to do that?" she asked. "You cannot harm me without hurting her."

I hung my head down, knowing that what she said was true.

"Would it break you, mage, knowing that now that you can have her, she is still out of your reach?" she asked as she circled me. I watched her for a moment until once again she stopped in front of me. "Would it really make much of a difference who it is?" she whispered and I shivered.

"Fenris…"

"Like you, he will never chance hurting her." She laughed. "You're really not so different," she said.

"We are nothing alike," I insisted.

"You both believe you are unworthy of love, even when this one has done everything she can to show you otherwise," she said. For a moment, I could see that she was puzzled, shaking her head before turning to me once more. "And yet you still fight for her."

"How could something like you ever understand?"

"I understand many things, mortal," she said, reaching up and brushing her fingers just over my eyes. "There's something that keeps you just out of my reach, mage. I must know what it is."

_Justice is somehow keeping her at bay_, I realized. _I must find a way to free her! _

_Maker, help me,_ I thought.

Seeing no other way, I gave in and drew her into my arms to kiss her once more.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	21. Chapter 21

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace. Once she gets set up and able to publish, she will be adding a few "companion" chapters to Stranded written by her.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called Desire Demon_**** by Bluewickedb__**_**_**_**ehemouth**_**_**_**__ from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

**__**Stranded  
><strong>__**

**_The Call of the Fade_**

For a moment all was dark and I felt nothing. In the back of my mind I could hear an unfamiliar voice whispering, urging me to get up. The voice was deep and guttural, as if the owner was using it for the first time yet for some reason it felt familiar to me somehow. I stirred only slightly, grimacing at the thought of moving.

_**I will help you as much as I can, Basvaraad**__,__** but you need to get up!**_

I woke with a start, arching my back at the pain I now felt. My hands dug into the soft sand beneath me as I flailed my arms out around me. It felt as if a thousand heated pins were being shoved into my skin all at once. I struggled to breathe, gasping as my skin felt like it was on fire. If possible, this feeling was more intense than when I would share my gift with others.

Just as suddenly, the pain was gone. I slumped back on the floor of the cave, breathing faster and faster as I searched for the cause of my torment. I closed my eyes and reached out with my senses and hearing the continuing rain outside, though dulled due to the blood pounding in my ears. I struggled to relax and realized that something else was muting the sound but it was too dark for me to see what it was. I tried to call fire but could only muster a small flame that immediately fluttered out but not before I noticed that I was no longer alone.

"I didn't mean to cause you any pain," a soft, lilting voice spoke to me and I jumped when I realized that it came from a different direction. "You would have felt nothing if only you had slumbered just a little while longer."

"What do you want, demon?" I demanded, trying to keep the terror I felt out of my voice. I slowly tried to move away only to find that she was now in a different location and I was crawling towards her.

_Maker's breath, she's fast! _I thought.

"I believe it's perfectly obvious what I **want**, mage," she purred in my ear and I jerked away from her. She ran her fingers through my hair and I swatted at her hand. She laughed and reached out for me again, caressing my face. "Do not fight me," she commanded as she placed her hand around my throat, causing me to lie back as she straddled my waist.

"No!" I cried out even as she applied pressure. I started to see black spots but it was not meant for me to pass out once more, only to weaken me so I would stop fighting her. I clawed up at her face and at her hand but she pulled my hand away easily and pushed it against my side. I looked down and was terrified that the tingling I had started to feel was her flesh fusing with mine, dissolving into me. I started to convulse the more our bodies merged and I began to scream, terrified at what I was becoming.

**-o o o-**

I woke once more and looked around, my vision blurry as if in the Fade. I realized that's exactly where I was and looked around, trying to pin point a way out. I recognized that this was the Fade version the cave where I was attacked by the desire demon.

"And still you fight me, little mage," a voice called out to me and I could feel the disappointment that it carried. "Why can't you just lie back and surrender yourself?" her strange lilting voice lulled to me and I shuddered as if it were a tangible thing.

I turned and saw the demon once more in front of me with a smug look on her face as she looked down at me on the ground. I backed away as she kneeled and crawled towards me. I stared mesmerized as the purple haze that was eerily similar to hair, wafting down her back and her shoulders yet still moving slightly around her face. There was no denying that this creature was beautiful; even I could not turn away from her slow sensual approach. Everything about her was meant to draw your attention to her form, to what you could see and make you want what you couldn't. Try as I might, I was drawn to the beauty of her bare flesh, wanting to reach out and touch her skin to see what it felt like. It was easy to see why so many gave in to others like her, surrendering their bodies and powers just to be close to her.

I realized then that she was barely touching me but it was enough to make me see her this way. Everything I was feeling, my sudden desire for her, was nothing more than the product of her magic. It frightened me that I had forgotten what she was and wanted nothing more than the overwhelming need to touch all of her. I stared up at the deadly horns that were on her head; felt the tail that had wrapped around my ankle and forced myself to remember what she truly was. But now it was too late to move away from her and I shivered the closer she came to me.

"You see now what your power does to others," she said and looked away once I realized that I had been staring at her breasts. I closed my eyes, trying desperately to call fire, ice…_anything_ to get her away from me. As her words sank in, I lost my concentration and again my magic failed me. "Do not lie to yourself, mage," she said as I shook my head.

"I am _nothing_ like you, demon!" I denied heatedly.

"You use your power to bring pleasure to others, as I do," she said in a low voice. "How are we so different?"

"I do not force it on them!"

"You wish to take away the pain of those you care for, do you not?" she questioned and I backed off. "You give everything, your body as well as your magic, to one who despises all mages." I felt the tip of her nail trace up from my collar bone up to my chin and I tried to pull away from her.

_Is she right about what I am? _I asked myself, drawing away from her.

_**Do not give into her, **_the voice said and I stopped myself from looking for its source. _**Fight her! Your true magic is strongest in the Fade, at its source. Distract her and I will help you!**_

_I will do what I can, _I vowed.

_But distract her how when my magic has failed me? _

"Do you wonder what your mage _tastes_ like?" she asked as she leaned closer to me. I felt the stirring of my spirit magic reacting to her and for the first time, I felt hope.

_Is it even possible?_

"I have tasted his lips, demon," I said and looked at her directly in her strange dark eyes.

"Perhaps then you wish for _another_," she said as she touched my face, trailing her long nails down my cheek before she kissed me. Through her, I felt as if his lips were upon my own and I thought of the desire I had kept in check for him.

_Anders, forgive me but I cannot defeat her alone!_

_Give into her, Anders, _I thought as I deepened the kiss. I called on my own magic and trailed it down the demons arm. _Help me fight her!_

"What are you doing, mage?" she asked when she finally pulled away.

"Why enjoy only one mage when you can have two?" I asked as I leaned to her once more. _Fight fire with fire._

My only hope was that Anders will forgive me for needing his help in this.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	22. Chapter 22

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness. Thanks to Brenna (and WIKI) for helping me with the Qunari language.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace. Once she gets set up and able to publish, she will be adding a few "companion" chapters to Stranded written by her.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called Hold on, Hawke_**** by Alice-Le-Chat-13 from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

**_**__**Stranded**__**  
><em>**

**_Release_**

I timed everything perfectly. As she cried out, I called power to my hands and reached out to her head now that she was distracted. I begged Justice to help me fight her, to help give Inara the power she needed to fight off the demon. Her cries turned to shrieks once she realized that I was fighting her.

"Fight her, Inara!" I cried out as the demon tried to moved back, trying to twist away from me. The demon's screams echoed throughout the cave.

"**No**!" she yelled, ranking her nails down my arms and drawing blood but still I held on. "You _**will not**_…have her!"

She screamed louder than before and I watched the impossible. Suddenly there were two voices crying out and in a flash of light, another body lying beside Inara's still one. The demon panted as she struggled to crawl away. I gathered Inara in my arms, moving her as best as I could. As I stood, I draped my coat over her body before quickly adjusting my own clothing. I turned my attention once again to the demon that Inara had somehow cast from her body. I felt the warmth of the flames that I called to my hands as I turned to face her.

"It's **not** possible," the demon yelled as she looked up at me. "She should not have been strong enough to fight me." She panted as she strained to get to her feet.

"Perhaps not on her own," I replied, my voice growing harder as I watched her struggle. She turned away from me and looked down, her claws digging into the cave floor. "But I would never leave her with the likes of you, _demon_."

Her arms buckled as I drew my hands up, wanting nothing more than to engulf her body in fire. She turned her face quickly up to smirk at me and I realized too late that in my hatred I had gotten too close to her. Her tail whipped out and wrapped around my leg, throwing me off balance. I landed hard on the cave floor, the air knocked out of me. I looked down at her, crying out as her tail wrapped itself even tighter around my ankle. The demon turned to me, drawing her lips back and baring her teeth as she slowly crawled up my body. She drew her hand back to strike and I reached up to block her feebly.

"If I cannot take her," she hissed. "Then I will have **you**!"

"Not while I still live, vile demon!" a voice rang out. I looked up as Inara drew the staff back and swung it hard at the demon's face. She released me and crawled away instantly, using her speed to reach the other side of the cave, howling in pain.

"Are you alright, Anders?" Inara asked as she reached down to help me up. She wore only my coat, loosely tied at her waist and it fell well below her knees. I turned from her so as not to stare.

"Better, now that you're here with me," I answered as I took the staff she offered and turned back towards the demon.

"You will pay!" the demon screamed, suddenly on her feet. Her tail snapped hard on the cave floor and the purple haze of her hair whipped around her head. Her dark eyes shone as she threw her head back, opening her mouth and screamed once more.

I gripped the staff as I pulled my right hand back, feeling the sparks fly between my fingers as I pushed it out towards her. She dodged my attack as she crashed into me. She sneered as she dug her claws into my neck before throwing me hard against the far cave wall. I watched helplessly as she grabbed Inara and lifted her up as well.

"What will you do now?" the demon asked Inara as I struggled to regain my feet. As my anger grew, I could feel Justice's desire to take over and I fought to keep control. I could not risk hurting Inara as well if I lost control. "How will you **fight** me?"

Inara kicked out as hard as she could and the demon loosened her grip. The demon laughed and turned to her, raking her claws out as Inara jumped back away. I watched as blood dripped down her leg, briefly seeing the deep scratches on her abdomen.

"Without your staff, you are _nothing_," the demon sneered but Inara only laughed.

"Didn't you know?" Inara said as she held her left hand up for the demon to see and I could feel as she drew power. "I no longer need one!"

I felt as she lashed out, flicking her wrist and sending the demon flying from her. Immediately with her right hand splayed out in front of her lightning flashed outwards from her palm.

"_Ebost issala!"_ Inara cried as she advanced towards the demon. I was surprised by the words even as she continued to attack.

I watched as she cast a stream of fire with her left hand, followed by ice, faster than I had ever seen before, using more power than I thought possible. I watched in awe as the demon cried out as it backed away, stopping only when Inara held both hands out in front of her with her fists closed. She had imprisoned it, bound it with her magic and it raged against its prison.

"_Anders_," Inara said in a strained voice and I rushed to her side, calling healing magic to my hands. Her breath evened out as the wound closed under my hands and still she held onto the demon. When I was done, she nodded at me as she walked closer to it, finally releasing it and it fell to its knees.

"You thought you could _control_ _me_, demon," Inara spat out as the demon slowly looked up at her, hatred and pain written on its face. And there was something else. It took me a moment to realize that it was fear hidden in her eyes when it looked up at Inara. Just as quickly the look had vanished.

"Your kind are easily controlled, mage," the demon said. "They cannot control what they are and eventually they _all_ give in to us. For more power or whatever selfish reason…it is only a matter of time. I will be better prepared next time." The demon grinned as she looked at me and I turned away.

"There will be no next time, demon," Inara said as she held her hands out once more. "You see, I learned something new…from you, in fact. Something that will keep you trapped in the Fade where you can never harm another mage ever again," Inara smiled down at the demon and it stood quickly, trying to back away. I felt the pull of the Fade behind the demon, drawing it back and she screamed as she was drawn in.

I turned to Inara once it was gone from our sights. She smiled softly as she turned from me, stumbling briefly as I rushed to her side.

"What…what just happened?" I asked, dumbfounded but what I had just witnessed. Inara was no battle mage of any sort but something had clearly changed within her. "What in the Maker's name did you do, Inara?"

She retrieved her slip from the cave floor and I turned so she could put it on. She tried to hand me my coat back but remembering her own torn robes, I shook my head. I picked up my torn shirt and winced as I pulled it back on.

"I sent her back to the Fade," she smiled weakly at me. "With some help, of course."

She turned and I finally noticed the bones as she knelt in front of them, picking something up and cradling it in her arms.

"Ataash varin kata. Panahedan, Saarebas," she said softly and sighed as she listed sideways.

"_**Inara**__!" _

I caught her in my arms, leaning down to make sure she was still breathing as I checked her for more injuries. I moved her hair away from her face, laying my hand gently on her forehead but could find nothing wrong with her. I shifted my hand just over her heart and felt that she had over-exerted herself.

_Lyrium! _I thought, recalling that the remaining vial was across the island. I scooped her into my arms and carried her away from the dreaded cave, glad that at least the rain had finally stopped.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Translations taken from the DA Wiki page <strong>_

_**_Ebost issala_ - used by Sten as a battle cry, which means Return to dust!  
><strong>_

_**Ataash varin kata : "In the end lies glory."  
><strong>_

_**Panahedan : Goodbye.  
><strong>_

_**Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!**_


	23. Chapter 23

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace. Once she gets set up and able to publish, she will be adding a few "companion" chapters to Stranded written by her.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called Headlock_**** by Drasniia from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

_**__**Stranded**__**  
><em>

**_Recovery_**

I woke as we neared camp, cradled in Anders arms. The rough collar from his coat rubbed harshly against my cheek and I tried to move it off me. The feathers of Anders' coat tickled my noise and I reached up to push them away.

_Why am I so tired? _I wondered as I leaned my face towards the warmth of Anders chest.

"Hang on, Inara," Anders said when he felt me move. "We're almost there."

I could hear the deep sound of concern in his voice but found it difficult to concentrate. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes once more but was jolted awake when Anders stopped and shifted me up in his arms.

"No, Inara. Don't close your eyes!" he shouted. "Stay awake! Stay with me!"

"Anders…" I finally managed to say, my voice sounding raspy. I blinked my eyes several times before I could focus on him.

"_Stay with me_," he said quietly once more and I reached up to touch his cheek.

He started off once more and I struggled to look around. I started to recognize the surrounding area and knew we were close to the cave. Soon I would feel safe once more.

The cave was dark when we approached and I wondered where Fenris was when I heard his voice call out to Anders.

"Do you have her?" Fenris asked as Anders reached towards the fire and rekindled it with his magic. I didn't realize until then that I was freezing.

"Yes," Anders replied, walking further into the cave. "Help me with her. She's shivering. Bring me something dry to cover her with."

I heard the clatter of Fenris' sword along with other metal on the cave floor as he rushed to my side, ignoring Anders.

"Where did you find her?"

I felt Anders pause before answering him. "The qunari campsite," was all Anders said and Fenris remained quiet for a moment before complying. I turned and watched as he removed his remaining armor before searching for the dry sheet Anders asked for.

I heard the rustle of material from somewhere in the cave. Anders shifted me in his arms, gently lowering my legs down so that I could try to stand with his help. He moved his arm under his coat and around my waist so he could remove the wet garment easily. I shivered when I felt the cold air on my damp skin as he laid me down on the coarse material they had salvaged long ago. He covered me with it, bundling his coat to place under my head and made room for Fenris to sit beside me while he went to search his belongings.

"What's wrong with her?" Fenris asked as he took my hand in his.

I could feel him tremble as he gingerly touched my face, leaning closer to me to press his cheek to mine briefly. I looked up at him and smiled at him weakly and he leaned down to kiss me gently on my forehead. He whispered to me, a phrase I was familiar with in Arcanum and I squeezed his hand. When Anders failed to answer him, he turned angrily to him, his grip tightening slightly on my hand and I winced.

Anders knelt again by my left side and reached for my face when Fenris reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Answer me, mage!" he growled.

"She wasn't alone when I found her, Fenris," Anders said as he yanked his hand free from Fenris' grasp. "There was a demon there with her."

"She was alone with a demon?"

"She fought it off."

Fenris looked down at me before looking away. I tried to reach up to touch his face but he took my hand instead. Anders leaned towards me once more and I felt the cool glass against my lips before swallowing the small amount he poured. I coughed as the chalky liquid hit the back of my throat, turning away from him when he moved the vial towards me again. I squirmed away from his attempts, making small mewling sounds as I moved closer to Fenris, hiding my face. I heard Fenris growl as he smacked the vial out of Anders hands.

"Damn you, Fenris!" Anders yelled. "She needs lyrium!"

"She doesn't want it!" he insisted as he pulled me closer into his arms. I blinked as I felt droplets splash on my face and I realized that they came from Fenris. I reached up and brushed them off his cheek, whispering his name.

"That was the last vial, you stubborn elf!" Anders said as he sat back and stared at the empty vial.

"I'm sorry," Fenris said as he calmed down, brushing my hair away from my face. "Will she be alright?" he asked Anders quietly.

Anders stood slowly and moved away from us as he thought.

"She over-exerted herself tonight, Fenris. She'll be weak for quite some time and perhaps all she needs is to get some rest," Anders finally replied.

"For how long?" Fenris asked quietly.

Anders sighed as he stared at the fire. "I don't know. She only took a small amount of the lyrium. I cannot honestly say how long…"

"But she will recover?" Fenris asked and Anders turned to him.

"I…I can't be sure if she'll fully recover. I've never seen a mage do half the things that Inara can do." Anders voice changed as he looked away, deep in thought. "There may be another way…"

"What _other_ way?" Fenris asked.

"You say that you love Inara," Anders said as he walked towards Fenris. "Are you willing to do anything you can to help her?"

"Tell me what you need me to do, mage," Fenris said fiercely. "And I will do it. **Anything** for her."

"_No_," I said weakly but they both ignored me. I struggled to move back from Fenris, to stop Anders any way possible. "_No, Anders, stop!_"

I watched as Anders walked up and knelt behind Fenris, his hand hovering over the bare patch of his arm.

_Damn you, Anders!_ I didn't want this, to use Fenris like this.

"I'm sorry, Fenris, but this is the only way," Anders said softly as he trailed his fingers down Fenris' arm.

"What did you do…"Fenris started to ask but Anders spirit magic took effect.

I gripped his arm, trying to draw his attention away from Anders but stopped when I heard the shift in his breathing. I looked up to see his eyes softening as he leaned down towards me and brushed his lips against mine. His kiss was soft, hesitant at first until I sighed and opened my mouth to him. His arms tightened arm me as he deepened the kiss, lifting me closer to him. I reached up and brushed only a small amount of my own spirit from along his jaw to the back of his left ear, before grabbing a handful of his hair. It was then that I felt the traces of lyrium on his skin as they started to react to my touch, lightly dancing upon my skin.

I could hear the faint footfalls of Anders as he left the cave.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	24. Chapter 24

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**Thanks to Brenna (and WIKI) for help with the Qunari language.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace. Once she gets set up and able to publish, she will be adding a few "companion" chapters to Stranded written by her.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called All That Remains _****by Runaire from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

__**__**Stranded**__**_  
><em>

**_Defining Magic_**

_Damn you, Anders_, I thought as my eyes fluttered and struggled to open. I stretched a little before I lifted my head slowly and looked around the darkened cave. I reached out and immediately noticed the absence of warmth I was used to when waking up. _Fenris was gone_, I thought with a heavy heart. I clutched at the falling sheet as I sat up and realized I was not alone. But the person sitting beside me was not the man I had expected or hoped for. I knew there was much that I needed to explain to Fenris and I only hoped that he gave me the chance.

"How are you feeling?" Anders asked as he reached out to touch my face slowly, hesitantly. I turned only my eyes to him before quickly looking away and cleared my throat. From the chill and faint light filtering its way in, I knew it was early morning. I couldn't help but wonder how long I had slept and where Fenris had gone off to.

"Better now," I said as I pulled the sheet tighter around me and he dropped his hand, sighing.

"I know you're angry with me…"

"Try _furious_, Anders," I corrected him. He held up his hands in front of his chest in defense as I turned to look at him finally.

"I only did what I thought was necessary…" he started to say but I didn't want to hear any of his explanations.

"…which you knew Fenris would not approve of!" I yelled at him as I moved away from him. I turned and stood uneasily, reaching for the excess material that was trailing behind me so I could try to wrap it around my body. Anders got up and tried to reach for me but I pushed him away. Instead I looked around for my shift to put on but could not find it anywhere near me.

"Inara," he said softly. "There really was no other way."

I spun and looked at him. He had my shift in his hands. I strode over to him and yanked it from him.

"I would have been fine on my own, Anders," I said adamantly but he reached out and griped my arms to keep me from moving away from him.

"You don't know that, Inara!" he responded, his eye flashing. "You keep trying to make light of all of this but I will never…I can never…" He moved back from me, letting go of my arms as he looked down.

"I thought I had lost you," he said so softly that I almost didn't hear it. Looking at the sad, defeated way he way he stood before me, I softened and was no longer mad at him for what he did to Fenris.

I reached out and touched his face gently. "You helped me defeat her," I said as I brushed my fingers along his jaw. "I know what you did, Anders, and I am not ashamed. You could have left me there but you didn't."

"I shouldn't have…"

"If you hadn't I wouldn't be here now," I said and he finally looked into my eyes. "You saved me."

"I couldn't bear the thought of her hurting you," he said softly and reached up and touched my cheek.

"I couldn't have done it without you," I said and smiled up at him.

"Exactly what…did happen there?" he asked and I moved away, feeling my cheeks flush.

"Let's just say, she couldn't focus on both of us at once," I said, trying to hide my face from him.

"Maker!" he said to himself as I motioned for him to turn around. He blushed as he turned away from me and I quickly put on the loose shift over the rough material that I had covering my body.

"But once you were free…you said something to her," he said when I reached out and touched his shoulder. "What was it?" he asked as he turned to me.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I thought hard about that moment when I stood against her, casting repeatedly at her.

"_Ebost issala," _I repeated slowly and looked up at him.

"What _exactly_ does that mean?" he asked.

"I believe it means…_return to dust_," I said hesitantly. "In qunari."

"When did you…" he started to ask as I turned away from him, trying to figure out how to explain it all. I sat down on the rough material and looked into the dying fire, holding my hand out briefly to help rekindle it.

"It wasn't Tal-Vashoth that attacked the survivors from the wreckage like we first thought," I said as I settled my shift comfortably on my legs. "They attacked each other."

"How could you possibly know that?" he asked as I looked up at him as he approached me.

"I had a vision when I found myself alone at the Qunari camp," I admitted. Anders sat down beside me and looked at me, waiting for me to continue. I closed my eyes and tried to remember it all once more.

"I had stumbled into the clearing and when I realized where I was, I tried to leave but it was if something changed. Suddenly, it was no longer raining. It was somehow sunny and very hot and there was a battle going on all around the camp," I remembered. "They were all fighting each other but they didn't know why. Most of the _Beresaad_ had not survived and there were too few Arvaarad to properly control the Saarebas."

I turned and looked at Anders briefly before continuing.

"That's when they were attacked by demons. It all started when a few of the Karashok turned and slaughtered the remaining Arvaarad," I continued. "Then they started to turn on each other. Somehow **I** knew…I knew that what was really attacking them, were demons and I attacked them before they turned their attention to me."

Before Anders could ask, I held up my hand to stop him so I could explain. I closed my eyes once more as I continued.

"I didn't realize it at first as I watched this all happen. It took me a moment to realize that what I was seeing was through the eyes of the only unaffected Saarebas," I told him. "I then watched as one of the possessed Qunari attacked me, piercing my side with a spear. I watched as he fought until there were none left."

"Those were the bones of that Saarebas in that cave, weren't they?" Anders asked when I fell silent.

I opened my eyes once more and turned to him. "They were. The demon was determined to possess him, regardless of his injuries. But he remained strong and would not give in. He's been trapped in that cave all this time, until I found my way there. His spirit was unable to move on," I explained slowly. "Not until the demon was dealt with. At first, he was reluctant to help me since I was Basra, not Qunari and worse, a mage like him. Yet somehow he heard Ketojan name me _Basvaraad_ in a memory and it was only then that he agreed to help me, before I even realized that you had followed me. He passed on his knowledge to me when I was trapped in the Fade."

"And now he's gone?"

"Yes, he's gone," I said softly. "He helped me realize what my powers allowed me to really do, and I used them to learn from the demon as well."

"That was how you were able to trap her in the Fade," he said and I turned to him.

"Permanently."

"How is that even possible?" he asked.

"I repaired the tear in the veil," I said simply. "I closed her off on the other side."

He stared at me stunned for a few moments.

"And your sharing abilities…"

"I've learned to handle them as well," I said as I drew my legs up and wrap my arms around my knees. "If not then I will be a target to every demon."

"Inara," he said softly as I turned and placed my cheek on my knee so I could face him. "Your spirit abilities…"

"Are somehow similar to what the desire demon can do to others," I answered him slowly, feeling tears filling my eyes. "I'm sorry that she used my magic on you, Anders. I've never felt so close to turning into one of them until she did that."

Anders reached forward and took my face gently in his hands.

"You are not a demon, Inara," he said softly. "Never believe that."

I looked closely at him and reached out to touch his check, thankful that for now, at least he believed that. I only hoped that Fenris would be as understanding.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	25. Chapter 25

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna and Lyall for being such great supporters of my craziness.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace. Once she gets set up and able to publish, she will be adding a few "companion" chapters to Stranded written by her.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called FHawke _****by Kou chan from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

__**__**Stranded**__**__

__**__**Defining the Past  
><strong>__**__

I couldn't bear to see Inara so unhappy, having her doubt who she was and what she was becoming. I brushed the tears from her eyes and she smiled up shyly at me before hiding a yawn behind her hand. I could see that she was debating telling me something as I reached out again to touch her cheek.

"You should try to rest some more after everything that's happened," I said as I moved some stray strands off her face.

"You're probably right," she said turned on her side and leaned back down. I reached over her and grabbed the sheet to cover her while she grabbed my folded coat to place her head on. Inara ran her fingers over the feathers as I draped the sheet over her and made to get up but stopped when she reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" she asked and I nodded as she reached down and took my hand.

"What's the first thing you want to do once we return to Kirkwall?" she asked sleepily, rubbing her thumb lightly over my wrist.

I laughed softly as I thought about my answer. "I think what I'd like to do most is to lie on my cot at the clinic," I finally replied. "I'll never complain about having a sore back after having slept on this hard ground ever again."

Inara laughed sleepily as I leaned back and you could easily hear my spine crack. I looked down at her, seeing that she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"What will you do when we get back?" I asked her quietly, dreading how things would change if and when we got back to Kirkwall.

"You mean after taking the longest bath?" she laughed as she let go of my hand and moved her hand wipe at her eyes. "I want to go to Lowtown and stand in the market, not to buy but just to listen to the crowds as they walk around me."

"I know what you mean. Merrill once commented that she had such a hard time thinking to herself with of all the noise in the city. Who would have thought that you could take such a thing for granted?" I wondered. "Perhaps we'll run into one another," I said hopefully but Inara just turned over suddenly.

"No, we won't," she said quietly. "You'll go back to writing your damn manifesto and forget about everything else…just like before."

I reached out and placed my hand gently on her back, unable to find the words to dispute what she said. So I remained silent and I felt as she shook, crying briefly. I could do nothing more than rub her back and wait for her to continue.

"I'm sorry," she said finally. "I know that what you're fighting for is important and I've done all that I can to help you. It's just…" she sighed. "You say that you and Justice are one but truly, you're not," she said softly. "The demon could not figure out just what was holding you back from her but I could. I think I always could."

"Perhaps one day there will come a time when Justice and I can be separated," I said finally.

"I suppose I will just have to be a little more patient then," she whispered. I paused, my hand on her back, uncertain if I had heard her correctly but not wanting to ask her to repeat herself and have her deny it.

"Will you ever tell me about this scar you have on your back?" I asked finally. I felt her tense as my fingers brushed over the old faded scar and wished I hadn't asked about it.

From her silence, I could tell she was trying to decide how much she wanted to reveal about it before finally answering.

"It was Carver," she said quietly. "Back when we were younger, we used to argue about everything you could imagine. You remember how he was before he left to become a Templar, how he always quick to anger? Well he was no better when he was younger."

I felt the long ridge line along her back and could not imagine how she could speak so calmly about what had happened. "Surely nothing you could have done deserved this…"

"It happened when we were sparring. He had a sword and I had my staff. The simple rules were: no magic involved, but I could tell he wasn't taking me seriously and I cheated," she said as she looked over her shoulder at me. "I used magic and he retaliated. We both acted childishly but from then on, I used a sword whenever we sparred."

"Why was it never properly healed?" I asked as I move my hand slowly away.

"Bethany could only heal it up to a point and I didn't want Carver to get into trouble," she explained. "So he bandaged my wound and I dealt through most of the pain until our father returned. By then I couldn't hide what had happened. There was little he could do about the scar but he healed it so I wouldn't feel pain every time I moved."

When I first met Hawke, I was intrigued by her when she came to my clinic, a mage dressed in warrior's armor. A clever disguise in a city such as Kirkwall but I saw her for what she really was. I could sense her magic before she even walked in the door. She surprised me further by revealing that her sword was not nearly just a decoration but could use it as well. Later when I asked if she knew how to focus her magic by using her sword as if it were a staff, she was intrigued by the notion but was never able to fully grasp how.

Upon meeting her brother, I understood her desire to not stand out as a mage, with his constant disparaging of her magic. I began to wonder how she put up with him; how she seemed to never stick up for herself once he started to rage at her. She later explained how she felt responsible for his twin sister's death and how Bethany was the only mage that Carver would never judge.

It was only during her fight with the Arishok that people realized that Inara was in fact a mage. Everyone she had helped before had kept that fact to themselves, knowing that the Knight-Commander would lock her in the Gallows for being an apostate. Once he was defeated, having saved the remaining nobles from whatever fate the Qunari had in store for them had insured that Inara could not be taken without the outrage of the entire city. When she was named Champion, I asked Solivitus to find a staff for her that could represent both a staff and a sword.

Before she fell asleep, she admitted that most of what we saw go on between them was all for show. She knew that as a child, Carver resented being the only one of the three without magical abilities. He felt as if the Maker had played some cruel joke upon him, by joining him to a sibling who would always be different from him. She explained that one night she found him in tears and tried her best to explain to him that perhaps the Maker knew that Bethany would need a protector one day and that would be him. He vowed that he would always protect Bethany and she solemnly vowed she would always protect them. And so he trained hard to be just that. Inara became his sparring partner, which their father very much approved of since he was constantly away from them. After their father's death, it fell on the two of them to look after Bethany, who they always treated as if she were made of glass and their mother who mourned.

It was Carver's desire to save his sister that caused him to join the King's army. Being the oldest, Inara was pushed into joining him by their mother, promising that she and Bethany would be safe until they returned. But when the battle at Ostagar was lost, the Hawke siblings fled and made their way back to Lothering to ensure their family's escape. Despite how hard she and Carver fought, it only took a moment for them to lose Bethany who stood between her mother and a charging darkspawn. In their grief, both Carver and Leandra blamed Inara for Bethany's death, which she fully accepted.

In Kirkwall without Bethany, Carver yearned to be something other than just the younger Hawke. Inara could see he was getting bitter and restless and during one outing, the two had it out finally. She knew that he needed something to channel his grief and knew that their being together would only be a constant reminder of what they lost. She agreed that perhaps it was best if Carver finally left to pursue what made him happy. And for him, that meant becoming a Templar. While she knew he was happy to finally happy, it took some time for the two of them to come to terms with their life before Kirkwall.

Which is why I was surprised to learn that if anyone could, it would be Carver who would come for her. Yawning, she explained how she developed a close relationship with Orsino, the First Enchanter of the Kirkwall circle. With his help, they secretly had a phylactery made using Inara's blood, one that only Carver had access to. Orsino had seen all the good that she tried to do for her fellow mages and agreed to keep it hidden. It was designed so only her brother could use it, which assured that even if it fell into Meredith's hands, it would not work for her. Orsino also assured them that it would not work if Inara were dead. It was meant for just such an occasion.

I was shocked that Inara had so much faith in Carver to place so much power over her in his hands. I asked if this was what the demon meant by her having plans on how they were to escape and she had nodded sleepily to me that it was. Secretly, I had wondered how she was so certain that someone could even find us. Hearing this, I wasn't sure how I felt of the extremes she had gone to but I would just have to wait and see.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back!<strong>_


	26. Chapter 26

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna for helping with important edits.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is simply called Confused Torment_****by Cloudywolf777 from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

__**__**Stranded**__**__

_**The Beginning of Loss**_

Before she fell asleep, I promised Inara that I would return with the Saarebas mask I had left behind in the cave at the Qunari campsite the night before. I knew she wanted to bury it. I also knew she was worried about where Fenris had gone off to and decided it might be best to find him on my own while she rested. I knew that things between us were about to change even further. One thing I could no longer deny is what I felt for Inara. _I will fight for her!_ I thought to myself as I slowly made my way to where I was certain I would find Fenris.

I made my way to the Qunari campsite. I approached slowly, not entirely sure what state of mind he would be in but certain that I would most likely need to defend myself. The look he gave me when he left earlier that morning promised he would not forgive my intrusion, even if it had meant helping Inara. It was also a pained look, like he fully understood why Inara had been avoiding him and how her magic had affected him.

I found him in the clearing, squatting down and holding Inara's torn robes in his hand. It took me a moment to realize that with the veil mended, the area now had a different feel to it, less haunted somehow. Inara described it once as if someone were watching us. I approached Fenris cautiously, waiting to see if and when he would acknowledge my presence. He shifted his weight slightly, barely tilting his head in my direction as I held my arms out in front of me to show him I was unarmed. I paused when I got a glimpse of how tired he was and wondered if he had slept since leaving. His eyes shifted away quickly but I not before I could saw the hurt and doubt that he was trying to hide.

"What do you want, mage?" he growled, his voice so low I knew he was barely containing his rage as I made my way towards him.

"I simply came to retrieve Inara's robe and something else that she left behind," I said as I stopped a few feet from him.

"You're not here to check up on me?" he asked as he turned his body towards me. "Isn't that why you started to feel so _concerned_ for my well-being?"

"Partly," I admitted as I lowered my arms.

"So you admit that you _knew_ what would happen!" he yelled as he stood finally, tossing the torn robes furiously onto the ground.

I stayed silent and waited for him to attack me. He held himself in check by clenching his fists and breathing heavily. I was thankful that in his haste to leave earlier, he had left his sword behind. I knew that Fenris not having a weapon didn't make him any less dangerous. I have seen him kill with his bare hands before, with the aid of his lyrium markings. My only hope was that he would hear me out.

"I noticed that Inara was not using any of the lyrium that we recovered from the wreckage. I knew she was using her magic to practice, to keep herself occupied but she avoided taking any…for my sake. And yes, I became concerned once I realized it was your markings that were helping her somehow. I could see the changes in you as well," I said and I walked closer to him and knelt to pick up the discarded robes. "I've been trying to help her understand the extent of her abilities…Fenris, no one has ever been known to do _half_ the things I've seen Inara do! She was worried that without help, she would lose control and become the very thing you hate."

Fenris stood silently staring at the ground. When he didn't speak, I continued, trying to find a new approach, to make him see reason. I realized that the best way I could explain would be to show him. I slowly made my way passed him, hoping he would be curious to know where I was going. When I saw that he did not move, I turned and gestured for him to follow me.

"Where are you going?" he asked, crossing his arms and refusing to budge.

"To where I found her," I said and turned without waiting for him to make up his mind whether or not he was going to follow me. I knew there was so much that needed to be explained.

The path seemed so different in the day light. It was hard to imagine we had missed it before during the few times we had scavenged at the campsite. I stopped at the mouth of the cave and reached for my staff, holding it out in front of me and willed the sphere to glow. I heard Fenris' halt a few feet behind me.

"What is this place?" he asked as I turned to glance back at him before entering further into the cave. A moment later he followed. "Why did we not see the path leading here before?"

"There was a spirit trapped here, keeping everyone away," I told him as I leaned my staff against the cave wall and knelt to pick up the discarded mask from the ground. "It brought Inara here, to try to keep her safe."

I turned to him and showed him the mask that I had come for.

"Saarebas," he said as he took the mask from me.

"The bodies of the Qunari we found…they were possessed and turned upon each other," I simply explained. "Only this Saarebas managed to escape after killing the ones who attacked him."

"And died alone in a cave," he said as he handed the mask back to me. "What does this have to do with Inara?"

"Tell me you cannot feel the difference, here and now," I said and I waved to the surrounding area.

"I will ask you one last time, what does this have to do with _anything_?" he asked as he turned to me angrily.

"It does, all of what I'm trying to say to you! It's all because of Inara!" I paused as I turned to him. "In bringing her here, Inara was possessed."

Fenris hung his head and simply stopped moving.

"It was her screams that brought me to this cave," I explained. "I found her lying on the floor of the cave a little further in. I tried to heal her but it seemed to have no effect on her. I realized too late that there was something different about her. Her movement, everything about her…it wasn't Inara."

I moved further in and waited for him to speak. I could see the tension in his body and that he was desperately trying to keep himself in control.

"This **never **would have happened if you hadn't interfered, _mage_!" he growled.

"Inara warned us that something was here! It was why she stayed as far away as she could…"

"Yet she made her way, during the storm," he stopped and turned to me. "She was running from you!"

I turned from him and looked down at the bones of the Saarebas.

"It was…a misunderstanding," I said quietly.

"Your _misunderstanding_ almost turned Inara into an abomination!"

I jumped at his words, knowing full well that if I hadn't pushed her, none of this would have happened.

"The demon wanted her because of her abilities, Fenris."

"Which demon?" he demanded.

"I don't see why that matters…" I started to ask but he cut me off.

"_Which_ demon?" he yelled.

"What difference does it make? Inara cast it out all on her own! She sent it back into the Fade!"

He strode angrily towards me. "No! Do not think you can stand there and lie to me. It was not '_on her own_,' as you claim," he said angrily as he pushed me back. I jumped when he punched the wall behind me, missing me by mere inches. "Do not think I cannot **smell** her on you, mage!"

"It _wasn't_ her, Fenris, I swear," I said as I moved slowly away from him. "She had no control over the demon or what it did."

"Did that even matter to you, Anders?" he pressed.

"Of course it did! I would never have taken advantage of Inara," I yelled back.

"But that didn't stop you…"

"Of course it did," I said calmly. "I couldn't take the chance that it would hurt her in any way."

"And so you did nothing," he threw back at me.

"What would you have me do, Fenris?" I demanded and he backed down. "The demon had complete control of her. It knew I would not harm her in any way…and neither would you."

"I would have done everything I could to bring her back to me," he said, looking away from me. "Even…"

"Are you honestly standing there, trying to convince me that you would slay the woman you love? Because I don't believe that you could harm her any more than I could. The demon knew it as well. If I had refused to play her game, she would have sought you out and killed you when she was through. Just for her amusement."

I could see the doubt in his eyes.

"I knew that when the demon hesitated…I knew that somehow Inara had started to take back control," I tried to explain.

"Hesitated over what?" he asked softly.

"The demon knew we would fight for her, no matter what," I replied. "She was _confused_ by it."

"She was confused by my emotions," Inara clarified from the other side of the cave. "Love is something that a demon has never experienced. Desire, she could manipulate and control. It's what she used against Anders. She gave him no choice," she said as she walked slowly towards us. "I would never have broken free of her if not for him, Fenris."

We rushed to Inara's side as she stumbled.

"You should be resting!" I said as I placed my arm around her.

"You were gone when I woke and I knew you would try to explain things to Fenris alone," she said as she straightened.

"Let go of her," Fenris said menacingly. "Now."

Inara reached her hand out and placed it on his cheek.

"No, Fenris, you must stop this," she said. "Anders is not to blame."

"He is to blame! We would not be here if he had not insisted on traveling with the Warden back to Amaranthine," he raged.

"Then blame me as well. Remember that I offered to come with him for a chance to see my cousin," she reminded him.

"You would never have been _possessed_…"

"The desire demon has been aware of me since we arrived, Fenris," she explained. "It felt sensed my magic long before we set foot here at the Qunari camp."

She walked closer to him and I placed my hand on her arm to steady her. "The demon used the one thing against me that I would not see harmed: **both** of you," she said softly. "I could not have survived this long on my own. She knew I would comply with whatever she asked, so long as she not hurt either of you. Please believe that if I had lived but neither of you had not survived that night, I would have given up and let the ocean take me."

Fenris looked from both Inara to me as I tried to keep my face neutral. Finally he looked away from her, taking her hand in his as what she said sank in.

"Inara…"

"Do not make me choose, Fenris," she pleaded softly.

"It doesn't matter," he said as he released her hand. "You've already chosen."

Fenris brushed past her and was gone. I felt Inara shake and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her as she cried.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

_**Well, this is officially the beginning of the end. I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.  
><strong>_


	27. Chapter 27

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded. Thanks to Brenna for helping with important edits.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called All That Remains _****by Anastasiyachubar from Deviant Art.**_  
><em>**

__**__**Stranded**__**__

**_Heavy in Your Arms_**

I bolted upright, gasping and clutching at my chest, trying desperately not to scream. _**Keep calm**_, I told myself over and over again as I concentrated on my breathing. I was shaky, jittery and cold, but refusing to make any noise for fear that it would wake Anders. Night after night, he held me while I cried myself to sleep and tried to calm me when I woke up screaming. Lately, to distract me, he would ask me about my childhood back in Ferelden. I found that talking about Bethany and Carver helped, and I knew Anders meant well but there were some memories I wished to keep to myself. _Even the nightmares_, I thought to myself, trying to get Carver's angry voice out of my head.

I knew it must have been hard for him to care for me. I had not made it easy for him. The day that Fenris left, I curled up into a ball and refused to move, shrieking hysterically whenever Anders tried to touch me. When it grew dark, he made a fire and watched as I continued to stare off into space, my arms wrapped around my legs. I finally fell into a deep sleep and when I woke, I found he had carried me back to our cave and covered me to keep me warm. He sat on the other side of the fire and had watched as I slept.

_Fenris didn't return_.

I turned to look at the sword that was still leaning against the wall where he had left it. Just seeing it gave me hope that a bit of him was still there. For days I would sit and stare at that sword, checking that it hadn't been moved during the times when I finally succumbed to sleep. I became obsessed with it, even growling at Anders when he accidentally brushed past it and it fell over in the sand. He quickly picked it up and leaned it against the wall without saying a word, all the while casting worried glances in my direction.

I knew there were still a few weapons left at the Qunari campsite so I wasn't concerned that he was unarmed. Fenris didn't need a sword to defend himself physically but _emotionally_, I couldn't help but worry. The look he gave me as he left was one of betrayal, something I had promised myself would never happen. As the days passed, I couldn't bring myself to not hope that he would return. And every day I called myself a fool, knowing that I didn't deserve his forgiveness. I had become everything he hated.

I knew there were plenty of caves on the island where he could hold up in but I was in no shape to search all of them. Anders made sure that I ate, something I seemed to forget to do now if not forced to. At first he only brought simple fruits because he was reluctant to leave me alone for long. When I ignored them, he would cut them into pieces and patiently make me take small bites. It wasn't until a few days later that he tried his hand at the simple snare traps that his fellow Warden Nathaniel once showed him how to use. He was so proud of the small hare that he caught, thankful for all he had learned while with the Wardens.

Only after he cooked it, I became violently ill and stuck to the fruits, mostly for the juices. But it seemed that with whatever I ate, I couldn't help but become nauseated. Anders became quiet after he checked me, assuring me that I was fine and that it was merely a simple bug from something I ate. He gave me herbs that would help but only to a certain point. Nothing seemed to work for long and I couldn't help but feel as if my own body was against me. Finally, he told me the reason I was feeling ill. Something that should have made any woman feel joyous, it made me hope that we should be rescued sooner rather than later.

_I was with child._

When the news sunk in, I couldn't help by nod slowly. He had confirmed what I already knew. In Kirkwall, I was always so careful, knowing full well that being Champion would not guarantee that the Knight-Commander would overlook another apostate living freely outside of the Gallows. And there was no doubt in my mind that any child I had would be anything but a mage. As much as it pained me, I knew that losing my child to the Circle would feel like a fate worse than being made Tranquil. And so I looked to the one place that I knew would know how to deal with it, speaking with the First Enchanter who understood my fears and revealed to me the methods used within the circle. Luckily the Gallows merchant Solivitus secretly sold the preventatives that the mages themselves used.

Only being away from Kirkwall, there was little that could be done to prevent this from happening. From the look that Anders gave me, I knew he was both happy and sad for me. As a mage, he must have known the lengths I had gone through to keep this from happening. I also knew without a doubt that the child was not his.

I reached over and brushed my fingers lightly over his cheek, not wanting to wake him as I thought back to when I had asked him. He confirmed that being a Grey Warden greatly reduced his ability to ever have children because of the darkspawn taint in his blood. I had cried as I leaned into his arms, telling him that in my heart, I knew he would have made a wonderful father. _If circumstances had only been different,_ I thought.

I got up and moved away from him quietly, hoping that he wouldn't notice that I had left. I still felt a bit queasy and hoped that a soak in the near-by pool would help. As early as it was, I made my way easily down the well-worn path in my bare feet, with a small piece of soap clutched in my hand. Once at the water's edge, I stripped and stepped under the cool rushing water briefly, allowing the water to pour over me. I ran my finger through my tangled hair, thinking to myself it was about time I cut it again to deal with the heat and nausea. _I'm sure Anders would trust me to have it back now, _I thought, thinking back to the sea-drenched herbs I'd taken that made me ill and feeling ashamed of what I had done.

I stepped away from the water and carefully grabbed the soap, lathering as best as I could with the little that remained. I massaged a bit into my hair as well before stepping back under the falls and rinsing off, grateful to be rid of the dirt and grime once more. I placed my hands gently upon my abdomen, wondering how long it would be until I felt movement within me. I moved away carefully, trying not to slip on the slippery rocks as I made my way down to the pool. I paused, feeling eyes on me as I had many times in these past few months but knowing that nothing I did would convince him to show himself to me. I placed the soap down by my shift and small clothes before stepping into the shallow area and sat on the shelf, expending only a small bit of magic to heat the water around me.

Anders didn't allow me to practice now that we were out of lyrium. He didn't want to chance that I would over exert myself again in my condition. We argued constantly about Fenris, on whether he should tell him about me being with child but he respected my wishes on not saying a word.

"Inara!"

I jumped slightly at the sound of my name, hearing Anders as he made his way down to me.

"I'm here!" I called out to him and turned slightly in the water as he approached me. He was tying his long hair back as he made his way towards me, barefoot and in his sleeveless undershirt and trousers.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he stopped close to where I was seated in the water and knelt at the water's edge.

"Much," I said as I looked up at him. "Will you join me?" I asked though I knew he would not.

"Perhaps later," he answered. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Not at the moment," I said, placing my hand on my stomach. "I'm just glad that I'm not feeling sick at the moment."

"You should really try to eat something," he insisted. "At least for the baby's sake."

"I promise I'll eat something as soon as I'm done," I said, reaching up to move my hair off my neck.

"Your hair's really grown out," he said as he moved a few strands off my shoulder.

"It needs to be cut again," I agreed. "Maybe later you can help me with that?"

"I will try my best," he said as he smiled down at me. "Don't stay too long in the water, Inara. I know you're heating the water around you to stay warm…"

I turned and splashed water out to him in response. He laughed as he held his hands out to keep from being doused. It felt nice, being here and laughing with Anders but I couldn't help but feel that part of me was still missing. Once again I hoped that he was safe, where ever he was here on the island.

Anders stayed with me only a few minutes longer and the feelings of contentment faded once he was gone. My face hurt to smile, even for a little while. Despite the brief moments of levity, I couldn't truly feel joy anymore. As attentive that Anders is, I can see the distance grow in his eyes when he looks at all of me. Even if Fenris were truly gone, I knew he would never be happy while Justice remained a part of him. I could see that as much as Anders wanted to return to Kirkwall, he knew that my child would never be safe. I spotted the beginnings of a new manifesto start inside his head, hating that his renewed obsession was based on my fears.

I was beginning to think that something would need to be done and soon, not just for me, but for all mages of Thedas.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

_**Well, this is officially the beginning of the end. I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**_


	28. Chapter 28

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called In Your Arms _****by Reedan from Deviant Art.**__**  
><em>**

**_Stranded  
><em>**

**_Daydreamer_**

I might have stayed in the water longer but the need for food became too great to ignore. I got out of the water carefully and slipped on my shift, gathering my smallclothes and rinsing them in the water as best as I could. I was ringing them out when my stomach began to feel queasy as it did most mornings now. I ran over to the nearest bush and dry heaved, in a way thankful for having skipped eating before going down to the water. My eyes watered and my throat was raw but thankfully my stomach settled once more. As much as I dreaded to, I needed to find some kind of food and soon.

When I could finally stand up, I wiped my mouth and walked calmly back to the water's edge, needing to wash out the stale taste in my mouth. As I knelt by the running water, I felt the tears start to fall unbidden from my eyes. The more I wiped them, the faster they came and finally I yelled out in frustration at being unable to control my emotions.

I splashed water on my face and could tell that my eyes were now bloodshot and my nose was red from crying. I knew that if I returned looking like this, Anders would only start to worry about me. I looked around, remembering that I promised to eat and that the best fruits were on the far side of the island, giving me plenty of time to calm down before facing Anders again.

I left my smallclothes on a nearby rock to dry and headed away from the water, picking my way slowly through the underbrush. I had come this way countless of times before but it was the first time that I did it without the hope of accidentally running into Fenris. I knew Anders had seen him, caught glimpses of him on the higher ledges that we would not attempt but never close enough to call out to him.

I found the trees I was looking for and began picking, lifting the hem of my shift to place them on so I could carry them back with me. I was calmer now that I was busy, stretching up onto my toes to reach when I felt an arm circle my waist. I yelped and let go of the hem of my shift, feeling the fruit drop close to my feet. The arm was tight around my waist and no matter how much I tried to move away, it would not loosen. The body pressed against mine was lean and muscular and I knew then that _he_ had finally made his presence known. I relaxed and felt as his hand slowly moved to my stomach, splaying his fingers wide as if trying to discern a difference that was still too soon to tell.

"When were you planning to tell me?" Fenris asked in a low voice, reaching up with his left hand to sweep my hair to the side. I felt his lips close to my ear and I couldn't help but shuddered as the vibrations of his voice could be felt deep down within his chest.

"How was I supposed to tell you anything, Fenris?" I asked angrily, trying desperately to keep my voice even but I could feel his left hand slide down my arm and stop at the slit of my shift. "You've stayed away for months now."

"You even swore Anders to secrecy," he said, his fingers playing with the material before moving it aside and reaching under my shift. "But I knew he was keeping something from me and I knew it could only be about you. So I watched and it wasn't until I saw you earlier, placing your hand right **here**, that I knew what he was hiding from me."

I tried to move from him but he would not release me as he trailed his fingers further down my body. My breath hitched as his fingers hovered by my inner thigh while his other hand moved higher up. For a moment, I could not think past the feel of his hands on my skin.

"Would you have come if he told you?" I asked.

"You are carrying **my** child, Inara," he said softly. "I would follow you into the Void and back."

I could feel my Spirit magic start to react to his touch. Distracted, I could not hold it back.

"Fenris, stop!" I cried out. "I can't control myself when I'm with you!"

"Nor can I, Inara," he whispered. "Release your magic, Inara. I do not fear it!"

I cried out as my muscles clenched, feeling my Spirit magic pour out of me and over the both of us…

I jerked awake and looked around me guiltily, realizing that I had fallen asleep under my usual tree by the beach. I was lying on my side with my head cradled on my arm and was thankfully quiet alone. I stretched before sitting up and leaned against the tree. I watched the steady crashing of the waves, feeling it help calm down my racing heart. No matter how hard I tried not to think of him, Fenris would not leave my thoughts. I wondered if perhaps I was wrong to keep this from him. If Carver cannot find us soon, he will surely learn of it then, and hate that I had remained silent. Perhaps that is what my dream was trying to tell me…

_Time for another bath_, I groaned to myself when I realized just how real the dream had all seemed to me. The cool water would help with my fevered skin but it wouldn't help make me forget his hands on my body or achieving my long desired release. Or feeling the result of having used my Spirit magic in my sleep, which is something I had never done before.

_Whatever the cost, I must find a way to tell him_, I thought as I got up and made my way back. I stopped as another thought hit me.

_What about Anders?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__**Well, this is officially the beginning of the end. I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**_  
><em>


	29. Chapter 29

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called Out of the Shadow _****by Wbrooks from Deviant Art.**__**  
><em>**

_****_Stranded_**  
><strong>_

_**Family Matters**_

"_Don't touch me!" Carver yelled._ "_Do you really think I don't know what happens when you touch me?"_

"_Carver, calm down," I said as I tried to reach out to him. _

"_I will not be calm!" he yelled as he lashed out at me._

"_You'll wake mother!" I pleaded as I stepped back from him when he placed him hand on the hilt of his sword. "Please, just come inside and we'll talk about what's bothering you tomorrow once you've sobered up…"_

"_No, I will not follow you! We will discuss this here and now!" he yelled. _

_I slowly lowered my hand as he shook with rage. The smell of alcohol was so strong that it had started to make my eyes water but I dared not move away from him. _

"_Carver, I…"_

"_No! Not this time! I will not listen to your lies!" he yelled as he walked away from me._

"_Bethany…"_

"_DO NOT DARE SPEAK HER NAME!" he turned and yelled. "You have lost the right to say __**anything**__ about her to me!"_

"_She was my sister too, Carver!" I responded, still trying to be quiet for mother's sake, although by now he'd probably woken up half of Lowtown. "And I was the only one who understood what it was like for her, knowing you were watching her all the time. She was scared you thought she was going to become a monster! Her own brother! I had to explain to her that all you wanted to do was protect her! It's what we both wanted…"_

"_You let her die!" he yelled and I jumped at his accusation but the words hardened my resolve to set him straight once and for all. All I could think of was the way Mother looked at me for letting it happen, and I knew at that moment Carver wished it were me there instead of Bethany._

"_No, Carver," I said as I walked closer to him. "You did. You promised to protect her always and what did you do?" I demanded as I looked up at him. "You ran off to join the bloody King's Army!"_

"_I wasn't needed in Lothering!" he yelled, crossing his arms across his chest stubbornly._

"_Of course you were needed! Despite what you might think, we all needed you!" I reached up and rubbed my forehead. "Bethany was beside herself, worried that you would be killed by darkspawn and Mother finally stopped grieving long enough to see what had become of us!"_

"_You shouldn't have followed me!"_

"_Oh, like I had any choice in the matter!" I yelled back. "Mother demanded that I bring you back!"_

"_You were supposed to go back and tell her I could handle myself!" _

"_By then it was too late, dear brother! The recruiter just assumed that I was there to join as well and if I left, I would have been considered a deserter!" I cried out as I threw my arms out. "Did you really think I had any real desire to fight?"_

"_It's never stopped you before, __**dear**__ sister," he spat back at me._

"_It was for you! It was always for you!" I yelled and pushed him back. "Because…you wanted to be able to protect Bethany," I said softly. _

"_It was all for nothing then," he said as he looked away sadly._

"_There was nothing you could have done, Carver," I said honestly as I looked away from him, recalling the day we tried to escape. "We were surrounded by darkspawn and had become separated from each other. All I can remember was trying not to get my head cut off…and being so proud of Bethany for holding her own."_

"_She was the only one protecting mother…"_

"_Mother would have died if not for Bethany," I said as I slowly reached out to him. _

"_She shouldn't have tried to…"_

"_She did it because she was brave," I told him as I touched his face. "And because she wanted to show her brother she didn't need saving."_

_I watched as Carver fell to his knees in front of me and I wrapped my arms around him. I felt him shaking, but this time it was not with rage._

"_I can't stay here anymore, Inara," he said, his voice muffled. "When I look at you, all I see is her…"_

_I moved back from him and placed my hand under his chin, lifting his head so he would look up at me. _

"_I also see her when I look at you, Carver," I said as I wiped the tears from his face. "And I see father as well."_

"_Inara, I'm…"_

"_We'll think of something," I said as I hugged him once more. "I know you're unhappy here. Maybe now you can be free to become who you want to be."_

"_What will you tell mother?" he asked as he moved away from me and slowly rose to his feet._

"_Nothing I say will make her believe that I didn't drive you away," I said as I smoothed out his shirt. "I see great things for you here, Carver. Once we're back from the Deep Roads we should be able have enough to finally make something of our family name."_

"_When do we leave?" he asked as he placed his hand on mine._

"_You're not coming with me," I said suddenly and he clutched my hand tight. "It was the agreement I made with Varric. You're not to come with us or I back out."_

"_The Void, I'm not!" _

_ "Anders has offered not only his maps but his services as well," I said as I pried my hand out of his._

_ "You would go with others instead of your own blood!" he said as he clenched his jaw._

_ "Anders is a healer, which I'm not, and from what I've heard around Lowtown, a damn good one," I reminded him as I flexed my fingers. "__**Please**__, Carver. I don't want to lose you to darkspawn as well."_

_ "But you'll need..."_

_ "Fenris seems more than capable with that sword he carries," I said as I placed my fingers gently against his jaw. "I'm asking you to see this as a way to go for what your heart desires."_

_ He looked up at me suddenly as what I said sunk in. "I'm certain Fenris will keep you safe. I don't know how he manages to handle that sword as well as he does but I trust in his skills."_

_ "If I didn't know better, I would say you're in awe of him, little brother," I teased as I smiled up at him. _

_ "I'm just saying that from what I've seen of his skills, I'd want him at my side fighting darkspawn," he said and looked down at me seriously. "My only concern is his hatred of mages."_

_ "He's been very vocal of that," I acknowledged. "I'm hoping that he trusts me enough to have my back."_

_ "Be honest with him, Inara," he said as he looked away from me. "He trusts you…"_

"Inara!" a voice cut through the dream I was having. "Maker, please don't let me be too late!"

_Go away, Carver,_ I thought. _Let me sleep!_

I could feel someone shake me as my eyes struggled to open. I felt as my head was lifted, cradled in the crook of someone's arm as they checked me closely. I pushed away the hand weakly and someone held onto it as I squirmed. I looked up at in a haze, not fully trusting what I was seeing.

"She needs lyrium!" Anders said from nearby.

"There should be some in my pack!" Carver's voice called out.

"Are you sure?" asked as concerned voice. "It's the last vial…"

_Was that Isabela?_

"I'll make do," Carver gruffly cut her off.

I heard the distinct pop as the cork was pulled from the vial before I felt the cool glass against my lips. I felt as the liquid was slowly poured into my mouth and I swallowed instinctively, sputtering on the chalky texture.

"Drink it, Inara," Carver said softly. "Please, just a little more."

"Is that really you, Carver?" I finally managed after swallowing a bit more. I reached up and touched his face so as to convince myself he was really here.

"Blessed Maker! I thought I'd never find you," he said softly as he handed the open vial back. I watched as Isabela passed it to Merrill, who was checking on Anders.

"I knew you'd find us," I said hoarsely as sat up slowly. Carver wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

"I gotta say, junior, I was starting to think you were grasping at straws when you kept insisting that you knew we were going to find your sister," I heard Varric say from close by and I laughed. "Pay up, Rivaini."

"Can't you at least wait until we're back in Kirkwall before demanding payment, Varric?" Isabela said as she turned to him. "Greedy dwarf!"

"Not saying you're not good for it but when it comes to you, it's just good business sense," he said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry," Isabela purred as she leaned closer to me. "I'm sure we can come to sort of arraignment."

"My sister's not paying your tab either," Carver said as I wrapped my arms around her.  
>I hugged her as tight as I could until she protested. "Hawke, you're choking me!"<p>

"But where's Fenris?" Merrill asked as I let go of Isabela and looked away.

"He's somewhere on the other side of the island," Anders responded softly.

"I'll have my men look for him," Isabela said as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Help me get her back to the ship," Carver said as he got back to his feet, taking my hand in his and helping me up carefully. I was barely on my feet when he scooped me up into his arms and turned to the mouth of the cave. "Maker, Inara, you've gained weight!" he said as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Be careful with her, Carver," Anders said, leaning against Varric for support.

"Isabela," I called out as he was leaving the cave. "Make sure they find him."

"Don't worry, Hawke," she said. "I will."

Carver carried me away from the cave we had made our home for several months. I couldn't help but take one last look at it as Anders and Varric slowly made their way behind us. Merrill and Isabela followed, bringing Anders staff and Fenris' sword along with them.

I leaned my head against Carver's chest and let my eyes drift closed once more as I listened to his strong heart beating. I wasn't sure how long it would take Isabela to find Fenris but I hoped that when they did, he would want to return with us to Kirkwall.

Because there was something very important I still needed to tell him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	30. Chapter 30

__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_**__**_Fabulous fan art I'd like to mention for this chapter is called Hawke_**__**_****by****_**__** CohenR from Deviant Art.**__**  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_  
><strong>_

_**A Journey Home**_

Isabela was true to her word and made sure that they scoured the island until they found Fenris, who insisted that they bring all of the Qunari swords so that they might be returned. Isabela hesitated at first when she learned of the wreckage site but knew he would not budge until she agreed. Once on board, he secluded himself in the hold, well away from everyone else. Even Varric could not charm his way into whatever corner he had made for himself, just to be certain that he was indeed all right. As much as I wanted to try to speak to him privately, being on board a moving ship was not helping with my queasiness.

Carver had carried me to the cabin he had been using and kept everyone but Anders out so that I might rest for a while. When I was up for it, he wanted to know everything that had happened while we were stranded on the island. Anders seemed reluctant to say anything about what had happened but once I started, I just couldn't seem to stop. So much had happened that it was hard to believe we had only been gone for five months.

I thought Carver would be angry when I told him that I was with child, considering there was a possibility that he or she would be a mage. Instead I watched as he gently placed his large, calloused hand over my stomach, seemingly in awe that he would be an uncle. He then looked to Anders, who knew what he was silently asking and shook his head before leaving. My heart clenched and I called out to him but Carver griped my hand and I turned to him. It was then that I noticed the slight tremor in his hand and knew it was from lyrium withdrawal. He turned away from me and insisted that he would be alright before leaving my side for the first time in days.

And there I remained, secluded from everyone but Carver as we tried to think of what to do once we returned. If anyone knew what the Knight-Commander was capable of, it was Carver, who explained that things had gotten way out of control during my absence. Finally I won the argument that Varric, and possibly even Isabela deserved to know why I had secluded myself. I was hesitant to say anything to Merrill, who in her naïve way, would want to know why Fenris wasn't with me. I didn't have the will or the strength to explain to her everything that had gone wrong between us. They were brought in separately and I told them that I was with child. They were both happy to find out and thankfully, neither asked who the father was, since Anders had also started to make himself scarce.

Once we were close to Kirkwall, we dropped anchor after Carver and Varric explained that in being gone so long, the people believed that I would never return. The city I had come to consider home was slowly being strangled once more by the very gangs we had worked so hard to eradicate. I was convinced that simply by making an appearance would send a message to all of Kirkwall. And as much as I had grown tired of looking after a city that was determined to destroy itself, I worried of the life my child would have if this were not corrected.

So with the help of Isabela and Merrill, I tried to make myself as presentable as I could while Varric quickly returned to the city for things I would need from my home. Little did I know that Fenris left the ship with him and returned to his home in Hightown, taking away any chance of seeing him the next morning. Before we docked, I put on my champion armor, once something I had come to resent but now saw as something that would give hope to a city that needed me. I was thankful that it was still early enough that I could hide my condition from everyone, even as it was starting to become a bit tight.

We had made our way to Hightown slowly, with all of its residents stopping and staring at us as we made our way past. A cheer rose up when the people that surrounded us recognized who we were. I stood in between Carver and Anders as I drew on some hidden reserve of strength that helped me remain steady the entire way. When the crowd around us grew in numbers, the city guard stepped in and escorted us back to my home. And outside my door stood Aveline, the Guard-Captain I had come to consider my friend even when we didn't always agree on the choices I made. When she hadn't moved to greet me, I had stepped away from my escorts and drew her stiffly into my arms.

"I find it hard to believe that you don't have at least one disapproving word for my long absence, Aveline," I said when I released her. I watched as she gave me a small smile. "A welcome home would be nice to hear," I teased.

"Welcome home, Hawke," she said.

"It's good to be home," I said as I felt Carver tug at my elbow.

I knew that I was at my limit and it would be best to get me inside before I collapsed and with the scrutiny I was under from the crowds that surrounded us, I couldn't afford for them to see me stagger. I turned for one last look across the crowds, hoping to get a glimpse of the one person I longed to see but instead turned away sadly.

"For once the rumors are true," a voice came from nearby. I turned to see the crowds parting and forced a smile onto my face as Knight-Commander Meredith made her way to me. "I suppose the Champion's return is a cause for celebration," she said as she looked at me closely.

"Don't start one on my account, Knight-Commander," I said as pleasantly as I could manage. "As you know, it was a long trip from Ferelden back to the Kirkwall and I would like a chance to rest a bit before…"

"Of course," she said as she looked at me closely. "There is much for you to catch up on, _Champion_."

We stared at each other for a few more moments before something caught my eye making its way through the crowds. Gleaming white armor and sparkling eyes to match. A welcome distraction, if ever I saw one.

"Sebastian!" I called out to him happily. "If you'll excuse me, Knight-Commander," I said as he made his way closer to where we were. "As you said, I have much to catch up on."

"Another time then," she said as she walked away, closely eyeing my brother as she passed. In the weeks it had taken us to reach Kirkwall, Carver fought hard to control the withdrawal symptoms that he was going through. When Varric returned with my armor, he brought a few vials back with him but even I could tell that he was far from okay.

I couldn't help but feel as if she considered this a small victory. All I knew was that I was finally…_home_.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	31. Chapter 31

_**__**_**_**_**his started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_**__**_I may add the art recommendation at a later date!_**__**__  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_**_

_**Matters of Heart and Home**_

"I don't care what the nobles are whispering behind my back this time, Aveline," I said impatiently as I got up and paced before the fireplace. "If becoming Champion hasn't earned their respect, at least enough for them to hold their tongues, then I don't know what will!"

"Hawke, you must understand that Kirkwall will implode without a proper leader, someone they can turn to," Aveline said, looking to Varric for help. "Someone they can trust."

I stopped pacing and looked at both of them.

"And it only took you saving them from being forced to join the Qunari ranks…" Varric said under his breath. "But hey! We all know what a bang up job Meredith has done while we've been gone looking for you."

"Which is why you should seriously consider the offer to become Viscount," Aveline reiterated.

"We all know that as much as they want someone to fill that particular seat, I will always be nothing but an apostate, tolerated only because of who I am," I repeated once again, for what seemed the hundredth time today. "The nobles would think to use that to their advantage. It's the game they play and I refuse to participate."

"This city needs you. Think of all the good you could do!"

"I just think Hawke would like her head to remain attached to her head in case someone else decides to invade Kirkwall!" Varric put in and I couldn't help but laugh.

I turned to Varric who winked at me, especially when Aveline frowned at us out of frustration. I turned to her and couldn't help but feel that secretly she had missed my being difficult with her, even if she was trying to make a point.

"Aveline, don't frown so much!" I told her as I turned to her. "You'll get wrinkles!" I joked as I crossed my arms across my chest and mimicked the scowl she wore.

It had the desired affect and she turned her face from me but not before I caught a hint of a smile. "It is good to have you home, Hawke."

"See I knew you missed me," I said as I sat down in the chair closest to the fire. "I can't say that I missed any of this non-sense," I muttered as I crossed my legs and wiped my hands down the new fabric.

"This _non-sense_ is what's become of your home," Aveline pointed out. I leaned my head back onto the chair, looking up at the high ceiling.

"Make's breath, Aveline," I said and looked back at her. "Do you think I haven't seen what Meredith's done to Kirkwall? She sees blood mages **everywhere** but cares little for the actual citizens. If the nobles would just band together they could hire an army to…"

"Do what, Hawke?" Aveline asked as she leaned forward. "Get rid of Meredith? The Templar's outnumber even the City Guards and they do little to nothing to help with the chaos going on in the streets. The Chantry is stretched to its limits helping with as many people as they can…"

"Kirkwaller's maybe, but not Fereldan's. At least they haven't done enough to make a difference in the lives of _our_ countrymen. And it certainly hasn't lifted a finger in support of the mages, either," I said as I leaned back.

"Inara be reasonable!" Aveline said as she leaned forward. "What do you suppose the Grand Cleric should do?"

"Take a stance! She turns a blind eye while Meredith runs rampant!" I raged in return. "Admit it. You've seen that the number of mages that have been made Tranquil have only increased since there's been no one to stay Meredith's hand!" Aveline turned to Varric, knowing he was the only one who could have informed me.

"First Enchanter Orsino…"

"Is no better than the rest of them," I cut her off. "He's powerless, just a puppet who no real authority."

"He's trying to fight for the mages under his care," she said softly, but I could see that even she didn't believe the words she said. I stared into the fire, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Then he's not trying very hard," I said bitterly, recalling the faces of the Tranquil I had seen on one of my recent outings to the Gallows.

"He's all they have," she said. "And he's become very vocal over Meredith's actions, I can assure you."

The silence was deafening, with only the crackle of the fire filling the void.

"I'm afraid," I admitted softly.

"Inara?" she said my name softly.

"I'm afraid for my child, Aveline," I said and looked at her, feeling the tears fall down my cheek. "I'm free only because of my title as Champion, but my child will not have that privilege. It didn't save my cousin from the Circle, and it will likely give Meredith a reason to finally take something precious from me."

"Inara, you can't be certain…"

"I can," I said and smiled. "Don't ask me how, but I know that my child will be a mage."

"Have you told Fenris?" Varric asked finally.

"No," I admitted and shut my eyes tight. "I'm a coward. And he has every reason to hate me."

Aveline looked from at the both of us before the realization came to her. "**Oh!** Inara, how could you?"

"Aveline!"

"No, Varric, I need to understand," she said back to him and turned to me. "He loves you, Inara! How could you do that to him?"

"I was possessed by a powerful demon," I admitted as I looked at her finally. "It's not an excuse and I honestly wouldn't be here if Anders had declined her offer. But he knew that I couldn't fight her on my own. She would have killed him and gone on to find Fenris. If he had declined, she would have killed him as well. Simply to pass the time and because she knew it would hurt me," I said and looked away from her. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing either of them," I said softly.

"Do you love Fenris?" she finally asked.

"Yes!"

She looked at me steadily and I hoped that she could see the truth in my eyes.

"Do you love Anders?" she asked.

I turned away from her before answering. "Yes," I said softly. "I don't know how, but I love them equally."

"You have to choose, Inara," Aveline said. "It's not fair to them."

"How can I?" I asked, more to myself than to her. "Fenris makes me feel safe and secure when I am with him, like I matter. Not because of my title, just simply…**me**. Anders helps me accept who I am, makes me feel like I can make a difference, even as a Mage," I said as I turn to them both. "They are my _heart_ and _home_. Not Kirkwall. Them."

"Not for nothing but I think you might want to try telling the elf that, Hawke," Varric said as he leaned forward.

I turned to him as I wiped the tears from my face. "I've tried, Varric. Honestly, I have. It's just…" I started to say as I looked down at the rug. "I see him and I see the look he gave me as he walked away from me. The hurt and the betrayal, it's still there in my mind. How will this change anything between us?"

Varric sighed, as if he was debating with himself whether or not to interfere. "He's been making the rounds with a few of us at night," he finally said. "We all take turns, making sure to weed out the new gangs that have sprung up since we've been gone," he paused, getting up and pouring himself a drink. "For a while I had hoped that things would improve but now I know I'm just fooling myself to think otherwise."

"How…how is he?" I finally got up the nerve to ask.

"He's been drinking pretty heavily, Hawke," he said and Aveline turned away. I caught her turning from me and knew there was more to be said.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked as I turned to her.

She pursed her lips before answering me. "He's been getting into fights more often at The Hanged Man," she finally said. "He's lucky Varric's around to smooth things over and Carver makes certain he's never alone."

"Carver hasn't said anything about this," I said quietly.

"That's because everyone's been walking on tiptoe around the both of you," Varric said and chuckled. "Even Daisy."

"I was hoping to get a chance to talk to her privately but I just haven't found the time," I admitted, feeling guilty for having forgotten.

"Isabela sat her down and explained why no one's been mentioning your name when he's around and she's been pretty subdued since she learned what we've been keeping from her," he admitted. I bit my lip, now feeling worse for having kept her the news from her. "She's been pretty good about not moping in front of him but I guess that's Carver's doing."

"Carver?" I asked as I looked up at him quickly. "He's been helping Merrill?"

"Actually I think they're been helping each other," he said, sounding just as surprised as I felt. I watched as he swirled the dark liquid around in his glass before taking a sip. "For a while I really felt like we would never find you, Hawke."

"I never thought that when we had the phylactery made, it would be needed for something that seemed so impossible!" I said as he sat back down. "You thought it was foolish for him to even try, didn't you?" I finally asked quietly when he didn't reply. "It was foolish. We were way off course because of the storm. Honestly it was a miracle you even found us."

"I don't think one has ever been tested for that kind of distance," he said. "And for a while, I think even he was ready to give up. When he used it, it would seem to glow, but faintly. Which is how we knew you were still alive even after all that time on your own. But he couldn't seem to find a specific direction to look in."

"What changed?"

"Merrill," he said and I furrowed my eyebrows at his answer. "I don't know what she told him late one night, but the next morning the two put their heads together and figured out a way to find you."

"Blood magic," Aveline said quietly.

My heart thudded for a moment as I had thought the same, wondering just how desperate Carver must have felt to agree to it. He had always seemed to fear blood magic but with Merrill he seemed to turn a blind eye.

"Rightly, at this point I don't care what she said or did that convinced him not to stop looking for you, Hawke," he said and smiled at me. "Things would have been so boring around here without you."

"You're not going to declare your love for me, are you, Varric?" I joked. "Because I think I have more than enough problems when it comes to men."

"I'm too much of a man for you anyways, Hawke," he said and sighed dramatically before drinking from his glass.

"That you are Varric," I said and laughed. "That you are."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	32. Chapter 32

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

__**_**_**_**As always: thanks to Kris for being a great sounding board in all things Stranded and LyallFidelis for playing Isabela to help me with this chapter.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

__**_**_**_**A/N: I am also working in collaboration with another author here called Signs of Falling Grace.  
><strong>_**_**_**__

**_**__**_I may add the art recommendation at a later date!_**__**__  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_**_

_**Broken Promises**_

"You don't have to keep checking up on me, Varric."

It was rather late when I finally returned from my outing to Lowtown. I was deep in thought and almost did not spot the dwarf standing outside my home with his eyes closed. I wasn't fooled into thinking that I could catch him off guard as he was. It was only when he smiled up at me that I could see that he looked tired and wondered if the late nights were finally getting to him.

"Oh, Hawke, again you flatter yourself," he said as he hefted his trusty crossbow Bianca to his other shoulder. "I'm here merely for more of that fine brandy Bodahn promised to put out."

I placed my hand dramatically on my chest and feigned a hurt look. "So basically what you're telling me is that you're here for my liquor and not for my company," I laughed. "I suppose I've spoiled you in indulging your fine palate. The Hanged Man will have lost a loyal customer if all you're going to do is drink here for free."

"I don't know about that, Hawke," a voice said from nearby. "You could always start a tab for him here. It's certainly preferable to the stink of Lowtown."

"You do make such a fine point, Isabela," I laughed again as Varric glared at her. Isabela then reached out and took the heavy basket off my arm as I turned to unlock the sturdy door of my home, waiting for them to follow me inside. Varric was closing the door behind him when a hand caught the door and two young men followed us inside. Walter and Cricket, the two orphans from Darktown, were each carrying several of my purchases from my outing to the Lowtown market.

"I appreciate you two helping me carry this all back," I said as they placed the parcels down on the nearby bench in the vestibule. "Orana should have some food and likely desserts ready for you both."

They hesitated before walking quickly towards the kitchen. I hid a smile when Walter stopped himself short to keep form walking bodily into Isabela, his face mere inches from her bosom. He hid his face as he rushed away.

"Isabela," I said as I noticed her eyes track him. "Don't you think he's a little **young,** even for you?"

To which she threw her head back and laughed. "Is it my fault men just can't seem to get enough of me?" she asked.

"Well when you walk around wearing next to nothing…" Varric muttered under his breath as he walked further into the main hall, placing Bianca carefully down on the table closest to him.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" she demanded as she put the basket down and quickly followed him, with me trailing close behind her.

"Isabela, you leave nothing to the imagination," he said as poured himself a drink. "A woman needs to hide some of the mystery."

She leaned against the column and crossed her arms while I took my customary chair in front of the fireplace. "And where's the fun in that?" He chuckled as he settled into the chair opposite from me.

"Has Carver decided on whether or not he's going to return to the Templars?" Varric asked.

"I'm not sure yet," I replied. "Every time I try to ask him about it he changes the subject. Somehow I don't think Meredith was too thrilled that he left Kirkwall."

"And the…uh…"

"He seems to be handling the withdrawal better, thanks to the Aqua Magus you were able to secure," I answered quickly. "I'm grateful your supplier from Orzammar could come through on such short notice. Solivitus is expecting a shipment of lyrium but this should help for now."

"Aqua Magus is hard to come by so make sure he's careful with the amount he takes," Varric said. "I was actually surprised to hear that Bodahn was the one to mention it to you. It's not something that many outside of Orzammar know about."

"It's my understanding that Meredith makes the new recruits drink it on a daily basis. Helps get them adjusted to the lyrium," I said bitterly, having seen the terrible affects lyrium has from my run-ins with an ex-Templar named Sampson. "More like gets them addicted to it!"

"Is he…"

"Don't worry. I've asked Bodahn to keep the bottle well hidden," I assured him.

"Where exactly is Carver?" Isabela asked, looking around as she adjusted her outfit to her best advantage.

"I haven't seen him since this morning," I responded yet noticed Varric smile into his glass.

"Last I saw of him, he was out with Merrill," he said and I couldn't help but smile. "I must say I'm impressed he finally came out of his shell. For a while there I thought he just wasn't interested in girls at all," he laughter as he sipped his drink.

"Oh Carver's just a little shy when it comes to someone he likes," I said. "In Lothering, he fell in love with a girl who wasn't from the village. We all noticed he was acting differently but weren't sure why until Bethany confessed that she had followed him late one night. He had been meeting her in secret and I had the bright idea to follow them, which I regret to this day! A sister should never…." I said and shuddered. "That's one image I'll never get out of my mind! Later, I had to convince him not to tell our father he thought he got Peaches pregnant."

"**Carver** slept with a girl named _Peaches_?" Isabela asked, chuckling amusedly to herself.

"Sweet girl, too, but as it turned out, loved being surrounded by all the young men in the village," I said, recalling having to sit down to have _**that**_ chat with Bethany.

"Carver and Peaches, huh?" Varric said to himself. "What's wrong, Rivaini?" Isabela had crossed her arms and was now pouting.

"Oh, Isabela," I said and laughed, getting up and going to her. "Oh Maker, no! Let it be anyone else, just not Carver!"

"Relax, Hawke," she said as I wrapped my arm around her waist. "I'm not _interested_. Well…I'm not saying I haven't thought about it a time or two only that it never seemed the best time for it. No. Just wondering what all that trainings done to him. I always thought he was stunning, especially when he was angry."

"Only you would think Carver's bad mood made him the slightest bit attractive," I sighed and laughed when she gave me a knowing look. _I guess I'm one to talk about broody men!_ "Isabela, I really don't need to hear about you lusting after my baby brother!" I said as she pressed herself close to me.

"You're his _sister_ so of course you don't see just how truly sexy he is!" she said and I groaned. "What can I say? I'm dying to see more of what's under that armor of his!" she grinned, winking at me. "Definitely more, if I have anything to say about it! Now that I think of it, Merrill and I should have a chat!"

"More of…_wait_! I don't want or need to know! Maker! Isabela, please do not go putting ideas into Merrill's head!" I couldn't help but ask, regretting it immediately when her face lit up but was interrupted when hearing someone come in.

I jumped slightly and turned towards the vestibule, hiding my disappointment that it was only Bodahn returning with Sandal from the market, loaded with various purchases. He bowed briefly to us before continuing towards the kitchens. We also turned when we heard a noise coming from the upstairs bedrooms. I patted Isabela's hip as I moved away from her.

"Is it just me or is your uncle still staying here with you?" Varric asked.

"At first I thought Gamlen was hiding out from one person or another that he owes money to. But from what I've gathered from Bodahn, he hasn't really asked for anything. In fact, he was pretty helpful when it came to dealing with my mother's room," I said as I sat back down. "I just haven't been able to bring myself to do anything with her things."

"Aveline must have been worried that someone might try something while we were out looking for you," Varric said as he leaned forward. "Sebastian apparently suggested that Gamlen to stay here for the time being."

"I suppose it would have seemed odd to people if the Guard Captain took up residence here instead," I said.

"Speaking of Sebastian…" Isabela brought up as she sat down on the arm of my chair.

I sighed. "I've already told Aveline that I can take care of myself," I said as I sat back. "I don't need an escort every time I leave my own home!"

"We just want you to be safe, Hawke. I know you think you don't need anyone to look out for you but its times like these when you have to sit back and just accept the help," she said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Sebastian said that one moment you were making your way through the stalls and the next you were gone. He was very worried about you."

"I know," I said as I leaned towards her. "I'll have to apologize to him when I see him. It's just I didn't want to get into the same discussion of my being Viscount."

"Or of how advantageous it would be, once he's officially Prince of Starkhaven?" Isabela added, her eyes shining.

"Wait…advantageous to Sebastian how?" I asked, appalled. "Surely you don't think I would ever consider passing off my child as his!"

"Well he would need an heir once he takes his rightful place back," Varric said as he fought back a yawn.

"And if he sticks to his vows, that might never happen," Isabela added. "I'd consider it."

"Of course you would," I said and turned to stare the fire. "No, I would never consider it. I could never…" I vowed.

_Even if I can't find a way to tell Fenris_, I thought.

"Is that why Walter and Cricket were conveniently around to carry your packages for you?" Varric asked and I nodded.

"Decoys, plus one other woman, to keep Sebastian busy," I admitted.

"Exactly how much of that did you really need to buy?"

"Some of it I really did need, like the material for Orana and a few other items that caught my attention. But the rest is going with them to Darktown," I admitted.

"Words going around that you're there every day, Hawke," Varric mentioned as he poured himself more of the brandy. "Is there any reason you spend time standing around Lowtown, randomly purchasing items from every shop?"

I stayed silent and looked intently at the fireplace.

"You're waiting for _him_, aren't you?" Isabela asked and I nodded slowly, thinking back to the promise we had made back on the island, one that I shared with her late one night. A promise that he valiantly kept but broke as he became consumed once more by his work. She put her arm around me and rubbed her hand up and down my back as I cried silently with my face pressed against her thigh.

"When was the last time you saw Anders?" Varric finally asked.

"Not since Orana finished repairing his damaged robes," I said as I wiped the tears from my eyes. _Several weeks_, I realized sadly. "That first night was impossible for me to relax. I've grown so accustomed to hearing him sleep besides me that being alone was more than I could bear," I looked away from them. Isabela chuckled and I felt my face redden.

"**Just** to sleep, Isabela," I needed to clarify before I continued. "I used the trap door in the basement that leads to Darktown and made my way to his clinic. I snuck in and found him stretched out on that awful cot of his."

They stayed silent and waited for me to continue. "I was so happy when I finally managed to convince him to come back with me," I said as I turned back to them, trying to smile but failing.

I still couldn't admit to anyone that despite finally being home in Kirkwall, things would never be the same. Whatever feelings he may have had for me were left on that island. _As much as Anders denied it, I knew he would always see me possessed by that demon, _I thought. It made me sad that he might never separate from Justice…

"Naturally, Carver was furious that I went alone. He's threatened to have the door wielded permanently closed. "

"It's rare to see him out now," Varric commented. "How was he, the last time you saw him?"

"He's losing hope, Varric," I said and wiped more of the tears that fell. "While we were gone, Meredith's somehow caught onto those in charge of the Mage underground. Many have either fled or…or been captured and made Tranquil." Isabela took my hand in hers and squeezed as I took a few deep breaths. "Everything he's worked to accomplish is gone! The Mages walk around wondering who will be next and yet I sit here, free only because of who I am."

"You're their Champion as well, Hawke," Isabela said as she wiped more tears that fell. "You can still help them."

"Maker, so help me, Isabela, if you start in on me about being Viscount, I will think of creative ways of making you regret it," I said as I laughed lightly and pushed her hand away from my face.

"Promises, _promises_, Hawke," she purred as she leaned towards me and I pushed her away, but not before she gave me a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I stood and moved toward the small desk, moving aside some discarded correspondence before hopping up on it, realizing that if I didn't speak what was on my mind here and now, then I never would.

"If things continue this way, here, with Meredith," I started to say before looking at my friends. "I may even consider leaving Kirkwall. For good."

"Inara, no!"

"Hawke, think about what you're saying…"

"I am thinking about what I'm saying, Varric," I said as I crossed my arms over my abdomen. "I'm saying that maybe in Ferelden, my child will have a future, outside of the Circle." I watched as they turned to each other, knowing that there was something they were keeping from me. "What now?"

"It's just…" Isabela started to say as she twisted her body to flop onto the chair I vacated. "There's a rumor…"

"There's always a rumor about me! It's never ending! What could possibly be so bloody important to them this time?" I cried out as I hopped off the desk, restless.

"There's been talk of your pregnancy," Varric said and I froze. "Only it's nothing that we can't easily deal with."

"What are they saying?" I ask quietly.

"Oh you'll love this one! It's the real reason the nobles are so keen to have you as Viscount," Isabela said and I turned to them. "The rumor is that you're _carrying_ the next king of Ferelden!"

"**What?!**"

"The nobles think that the reason you stayed in Denerim for so long was because you were sleeping with King Alistair!"

"Isabela!" I groaned as she burst out laughing, trying desperately not to join her. "That's not even remotely funny!"

"Oh, yes it is," she cried out as she clutched her sides. Varric was quietly laughing to himself while I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Remind me that I need to let my cousin in on what's being said," I said as I turned to Varric, who nodded. "Hopefully the news hasn't spread quiet as far as Denerim."

"Unless you ladies need me…" Varric said, getting to his feet and reaching to pick up Bianca. "I'll be headed back to Lowtown."

"Isabela, make sure that he gets back okay?" I asked her quietly as she stood to join him. I walked them to the door, placing my hand on Varric's shoulder at the last moment when a thought occurred to me. "Let me know the next time you're supposed patrol with Fenris?"

"I'll set it up, Hawke," he said as he smiled up at me. "Don't worry."

"Thank you, Varric," I said as I stooped to hug him. "Get some rest."

"You too, Hawke."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	33. Chapter 33

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

__**_**_**_**Art recommendation for this chapter Saving Grace by Dragonheart on Deviant Art.**_**_**_**__**_  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_**_

**_Opportunities Lost_**

It was almost another week before Varric could get back to me about the nightly patrol he set up with Fenris. I had been busy with my own problems but I couldn't avoid the confrontation I needed to have with Fenris any longer. And so I made my way to the Hanged Man with Sebastian, to settle in and wait for him to show, draped in a soft blanket that Varric handed me before he left with the others. With the door closed, the noise from the tavern was muffled and when sitting in the chair started to hurt my back, I made my way to the Varric's bed. I even began reading one of his many exaggerated tales of a popular champion of a city under siege to pass the time.

The last thing I could recall was staring at the fire.

"Leave her," a voice said softly nearby. "I'll walk her home once she finally wakes."

I slowly opened my eyes. I turned to watch Varric tiredly remove his coat and place it on the chair nearest to him, a glass of amber liquid on the table in front of him.

"Long night?" I asked quietly.

"The usual riff-raff who haven't gotten the memo that they're not welcome anymore in Kirkwall now that the champion's returned," Varric said and chuckled to himself as he picked up the glass. "At least the Hightown market isn't as bad off as it once was, thanks to that idiot uncle of yours."

I sighed at the mention of what my uncle has done. Aveline brought it to my attention and together we went out so I could see for myself. And there they were, just as she had said they would be. Placed throughout the stalls were small crests similar to what is displayed on the shield outside of my home. When Aveline demanded an answer on why it was placed there, the merchant explained it meant it was under my protection. It was then I knew why Gamlen didn't need anything from me. I confronted him after Aveline left and demanded that he have them removed immediately.

I spent the next week trying to calm the merchants, who tried to offer me even more money to protect them from the Coterie.

"I would never have known if Aveline hadn't brought it to my attention," I said as I sat up. "Nothing I say seems to be working either…"

"I'll see if I can help come up with some sort of compromise," he said as he sat down at the foot of the bed.

"How late is it?" I asked as I stretched.

"Late enough," he answered simply.

"He never showed," I whispered, closing my eyes and breathing in, my throat constricting as I tried desperately not to break down.

"He showed," Varric said before taking a sip. I turned to him and waited for him to explain. "Coiff neglected to mention that he hired a new serving girl. Nice girl, only a little too eager to please. I just hope Isabela doesn't scare her off."

"I saw her when I came in," I said as I crossed my arms across my abdomen and squeezed my elbows to try to steady myself.

"As soon as she saw Fenris, she told him we had already left but that you had stayed behind," he said and took another sip.

"And so he left," I said as I wiped the tear that managed to escape.

It was soon followed by more and no matter how hard I tried, they would not stop. Varric got up and made his way to me, taking me into his arms, rocking me and letting me cry. I clung to him as I shook, feeling him stroke my hair while he waited for me to get it out of my system. Finally I quieted and was able to sit up. Varric handed me the glass he brought from the table and insisted that I take a small sip. It burned pleasantly on the way down, helping to calm me further.

"What am I going to do, Varric?" I asked him quietly. "I can't…I can't handle this alone."

"You're not alone, Hawke," he said, squeezing my shoulder. "We're all here for you, for whatever you decide to do."

I placed my hand over his and took deep breaths to calm myself further.

"I know you all will be, Varric," I said as I moved to sit closer to the edge of the bed. "I know that you will all play some part in my child's life. But I also need Fenris in my life and right now, I don't think he'll give himself the chance…to _know_ his child."

"We'll figure this out, even if it's the last thing I do," he reassured me as he got to his feet. "Get some sleep, Hawke."

I looked at him as he walked away from me.

"But this is your bed, Varric. I should go! I couldn't possibly…"

He turned and raised his glass to me. "I still have this to finish and I make it a rule never to drink in bed," he responded.

"Varric, you'll only wind up falling asleep in front of the fire and those chairs are very uncomfortable!" I persisted.

"The way I see it," he said and chuckled. "At least now there's some truth to my having had the champion in my bed."

I blushed as I recalled the book I had been reading earlier.

"I hope people do not actually think these books are really about me, Varric," I said as I picked up the book. He started to defend his work when I shook the volume at him. "If they're true then I've somehow slept with half of Hightown!"

He laughed. "What can I say? Everyone likes a little romance mixed in with the tale. It's a requirement for writing about a Champion!"

"The only person you haven't paired this _Champion_ with is Cullen…" I started to say but stopped when he bit his lip and turned away. "Varric! Tell me you didn't!"

He chuckled as he walked away and pulled a different book off the shelf to hand to me. I noted that it seemed to be a thicker volume than the one I had been reading earlier and I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. Unable to help myself, I opened the book and peeked inside for a moment, reading less than a paragraph before shutting the book quickly.

"Tell me Cullen hasn't seen this…"

"Relax, Hawke," he said as I handed him the book back but somehow was unable to let it go. "Junior bought all the copies that were published. This is the only copy he didn't manage to get his hands on."  
>I groaned at what he said. "Dear Maker! <em>Carver<em> knows about these?!"

-)(-

Seeing as I wasn't going to win the argument on my going home alone, I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes. Soon my breath evened out and before long Varric's replaced the blanket over me when he got up to refill his glass. I could hear the faint scratching of his quill and wonder briefly what exploits he's plotted out in his mind as I drift off to sleep.

I woke to Varric's soft snoring. I sat up and got out of bed as slowly and as quietly as I could, making certain that his breathing stayed constant and never wavered. I picked up my shoes and carried them as I made my way to the door, cautious of each step I took and wincing at every sound, every brush of cloth as I moved across the floor. Besides the door hangs the cloak I wore earlier, which I drape over my arm instead of putting on.

I turned and pressed my ear to the door and find that it must be late if the noise from the tavern is minimal. I breathed softly through my mouth and try to recall if the door made noise upon opening, thankful when it doesn't as I made my way out into the corridor. I paused at the top of the stairs when I heard Isabela ordering another drink, debating whether or not to continue and accept her company on the way back to Hightown or use the back staircase. I held onto the railing as I leaned down to put my shoes on.

Finally I turned away from the main part of the tavern before Isabela can turn and catch me standing there. I decided what I really need now is to be alone with my thoughts, to decide what I want to do and more importantly, what I should do. With my life and with the life of my child, I need to be certain that whatever I choose to do, it's not all about what I want, but what I can do to make their life full of laughter and without fear.

I walked past the closed doors, wondering about the people within the rooms as I continued down the hall to the little known exit and down the poorly lit stairs that leads to the alleyway behind the tavern. I paused to take in a deep breathe, feeling the cool air on my face before I placed the cloak upon my shoulders and drew the hood up to cover my head.

There was very light the farther I got from the tavern but I do not rush away. I knew the routes that the city guard was likely to take and made my way to where I was sure to find one. Once I was far enough away, I stopped and pressed my back to the nearest way, certain that I had heard the slightest noise behind me.

"You can come out now," I said as I carefully moved my hand to the hilt of the dagger I had placed within easy reach.

"If you had been a few minutes later, Hawke, I might not have noticed you sneaking out of the Hanged Man," Sebastian said with a slight smile as he moved into the light.

I released my grip on the dagger and turned to him with a smile on my face. "I should have known that it was a little too easy," I said as he walked towards me. "With Varric asleep and with Isabela so visible in the tavern, I knew someone would be close at hand. Although I have to admit I had hoped with the late hour, you would have been halfway back to the Chantry by now."

"I was considering calling it a night when I caught a glimpse of you," he admitted. "You're getting better at sneaking."

I bowed my head at the compliment. "Shall we?"

We made our way quietly back to Hightown, nodding to the city guards we passed. I caught glimpses of Sebastian watching me and finally I stopped in the middle of the Hightown market so as to get him to say what was on his mind. He stopped and looked around us, making sure we were alone before turning to me.

"It's not safe here, Hawke," he said as he reached to take hold of my elbow but I moved away from his grasp.

"If I'm to understand correctly, there's nowhere safer in all of Kirkwall," I said as I pointed out the crests that were placed on the stalls still. "I know there is something you feel the need to say, Sebastian. Either you speak your mind now or…"

"I simply wish to know why you will not consider it," he said quickly.

I sighed as I moved to the closest wall, crossing my arms as I leaned against it. "Consider which part, Sebastian?" I asked as I looked up at him. "Becoming Viscount or marrying you?"

He strode back to me and stood in front of me. "You know that as Viscount you can do so much good for Kirkwall…"

"I am a _mage_, Sebastian," I reminded him. "How long do you think Meredith will stand by when I do not follow her every suggestion on how to rule this city as if she were truly in charge? How long until the nobles turn against me, just as they would have turned against Viscount Dumar? I am no one's puppet."

He looked away and stayed quiet for a moment before turning back to me and I could see in his eyes just what he was going to suggest. "We could help each other, Inara," he said softly as he reached out and brushed his fingertips along my cheek. "If not here, then in Starkhaven. I need you by my side."

"I will help you take back your rightful place as Prince, Sebastian. This I have sworn to you, not out of obligation but out of loyalty and friendship," I said as he moved closer to me still.

"Marry me, Hawke," he said as he placed his hand on the wall next to me and leaned closer still. I felt the brush of his lips on my jaw. "We will raise your child to be the next ruler of Starkhaven."

"No. It should be your child that takes over after you," I said as I tried to push him back. "Nothing you say will change my mind, Sebastian. I _love_ Fenris!"

"But does he love you?" he asked, refusing to budge. "I have watched you pine for him since you've returned. I've seen you worry yourself sick over Anders even though he is determined to push you away. You deserve better, Inara!"

For a moment, I turned away and stood shaking silently with rage at the truth of his words, not knowing how to respond.

"So you suggest that you are the better choice?" I asked as I allowed myself to calm down. "Is it better just to move on?"

"Yes."

"And what of your vows?"

In this, he hesitated. I could felt his breathe on my skin and saw the indecision in his eyes. I knew there was only way I was getting out of this.

"I do not love you, Sebastian, not that way," I stated as I looked at him.

"You could learn to love me, Hawke," he replied softly.

"I'm sorry but I can't," I said as I put my hand on his chest and pushed more forcefully and this time he let me move away from him.

"I can find my way from here," I said as I moved further away. "Good night."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	34. Chapter 34

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

__**_**_**_**Art recommendation for this chapter Sad Fenris by Ysvyri on Deviant Art.**_**_**_**__**_  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_**_

_**_****_That Which We Seek  
><em>****_**_

I stood just inside the vestibule of my home, leaning against the door and tried desperately to catch my breath. I was still shaking from the short dash, thankful that Sebastian had not followed me to plead his case. I waited for my heart to slow down as I placed my hand gently upon my stomach. I closed my eyes and slid down to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Well that took you long enough," a voice said from the doorway. "I hope you let him down gently."

I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at Isabela leaning against the doorway leading into the main hall.

"You knew?"

"Oh Hawke," she said as she pushed away from the doorway and walked towards me. "You never could see past that white, shiny armor of his, could you?" she joked.

"You don't think perhaps it was the face of Andraste on his belt?"

Isabela knelt down and took my hand as I softly laughed. "You mean the one he _stopped_ wearing?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, frowning as I looked away and thought about it what she had said. I shook my head when I realized she was right about the buckles absence. "I hadn't noticed."

"Of course you didn't notice," she said softly as she squeezed my hand. "You never could see past the two men who were already in front of you."

"I've lost them both, Isabela," I whispered as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I wish there was some way I could help you with both. Anders is a fool to choose Justice over you, Hawke," she said as she brushed the tear from my face. "And Fenris is lost and alone. Right now, he's broken without you."

"Because I _broke_ him!"

"And only you can fix him, Inara," she insisted as she placed both her hands on the sides of my face, wiping the tears with her thumbs as they fell. "I've never known you to quit something. It's what I admire most about you."

I looked up at her and took a deep stuttering breath.

"Help me up," I managed to say past the lump in my throat.

"There's the Hawke I know," she said as she stood and took a firm hold of my hands to help me to my feet. "And pretty soon there'll just more of you to love," she said as she patted my stomach gently.

"Oh hush," I joked as I smoothed my hands down on my clothes.

"What are you planning?"

"I can't keep putting this off or else I'll just convince myself that the best thing for me to do is to leave Kirkwall for good," I said as I turned to her. "And I'll need your help."

"I thought you'd never ask," she said with a smile on her face.

"Thank you." I returned her smile. "Now, let's put those nimble fingers of yours to work."

* * *

><p>It was still dark out as we made our way to Fenris' mansion. We stuck to the shadows as much as possible and avoided the city guards, knowing they would report seeing us to Aveline. I paused as we drew closer to the Chantry but then hurried quickly past the large building. I stopped after we climbed the final steps and turned the corner. I stared at the door, his door, for a moment, frozen until Isabela patted my back and pushed me to get me moving once more.<p>

She moved past me and I watched as she knelt down, taking a small piece of wire from somewhere out of her bodice. She winked up at me before turning her attention to the lock and I turned to keep watch, hoping that a guard would not choose that moment to make his rounds in this area. I swear I heard the tumbler lock click so loudly that I jumped slightly at the sound. The fact that Isabela made quick work of it made me wonder how often she had been coming to visit Fenris this way.

"Are you certain you don't want me to stay?" she asked as she stood easily.

"I can't have everyone holding my hand for the rest of my life," I replied quietly. "Thank you for getting me this far, Isabela. You don't have to wait for me. Go and get some rest."

"Good luck, Hawke," she said as she placed her hand on my arm before moving away but by then I was focused only on the door in front of me.

My hand trembles as I reach out and rest it briefly on the cool metal of the latch. Before I could convince myself that so much could go wrong with my intrusion, I opened the door, wincing when it squeaked loudly in protest. I took a deep breath before finally willing my feet to move forward, closing the door quickly behind me. It's darker than I remembered, with many of the candle sconces unlit and I realized that quite a few had even been ripped off of the walls. I recalled that Varric mentioned that he had sent a small crew to finally remove the bodies that Danarius had left scattered throughout, to which I was grateful. The thought of tripping over and landing on one of the long dead corpses was more than I could handle.

What hadn't been cleaned out had been placed into crates but I could barely make out that they have been smashed, with their contents spilling out onto the floor. I carefully walked past the scattered pieces of pottery, stepping gingerly over even more broken tiles that before. Further in bookcases lay smashed, the floor littered with many of the volumes torn apart. I knelt down and found only one book mostly undamaged. It was the first book I had given Fenris, the Book of Shartan, and it only showed slight damage, as if he had attempted to rend it apart but instead closed it and placed it on top of the rest.

I knew better than to search the entire house after seeing the destruction of the first few rooms, so instead I made my way as quietly as possible to the main hall. It was there that I found Fenris, sitting on the floor by the stairs leading up to the main bedrooms. I stood in the doorway watching him with his eyes closed and his face expressionless. Around him, I could sense an aura of pain that cause my heart to lurch. Without realizing it, I had taken a step forward and my foot hit one of the many empty bottles littering the floor and it fell over with a loud clatter, rolling towards even more bottles. I looked down as I cursed at the noise, looking up at him guiltily but all he did was get up slowly and walk up the stairs.

I was torn, trying to decide if I should stay after finding the courage to finally see him or to leave, knowing that if I did, it would be to pack up the estate and leave Kirkwall for good. What stopped me from walking out was knowing that if it came to it, I would only do so once he knew about the child that I carried. _And if he decided he wanted nothing to do with us, it would make leaving that much easier._

At least, that's what I tried to convince myself.

I took a deep breath as I slowly and carefully followed him, making my way past the broken shards of glass from countless bottles. At the top of the stairs, I had to step over a piece from one of the large, now broken, statues. I turned and spotted the rest of the statue in various corners of the hall, along with the tattered tapestries that he had obviously pulled down and a few were even scorched.

I hesitated at the doorway to his room, expecting it to be full of debris but was shocked that it was mainly intact. Fenris had removed his armor and was crouched in front of the fireplace with his back to me and I wondered if he would even acknowledge my presence when he finally spoke up.

"I will not fall for your tricks, demon," he growled, turning only slightly towards where I stood. "I warn you, leave me be."

_Demon?_

"Fenris…"

"Why must you always choose to be **her**?" he asked as he sneered at me before turning away. "What do you think coming to me as the _Viscount-to-be_ will accomplish?"

I stood there speechless, wondering exactly what else he knew about the rumors the nobles had spread. _Did he know about Sebastian's pursuit of my hand? _I wondered.

"Fenris, I'm…" I tried once more, taking a step towards him but just as quickly he was on his feet and stalking towards me. From the look in his eyes, I quickly backed up until my back was pressed up against the wall and he stood merely a foot in front of me.

"Why must you haunt me when it is the **mage** she should be concerned over?" he whispered so softly I could barely hear him. He looked away and squeezed his eyes, shaking as if he were trying to get control of himself. My breaths were shallow as Fenris leaned even closer to me, reaching out and touching my face. "He calls me a fool for pushing her away but is he not the greater fool for doing the same?"

_Anders?_ _How could he possibly know anything about Anders? _I thought, thinking back to when I had had help getting away from Sebastian, to finally see Anders on my own. _Seeing how he allowed Justice to push me away. _I wrenched my thoughts away from that day, the last time I had seen Anders.

"Why must you torment me? Why must you come to me, looking like her?" He inhaled deeply as he leaned closer to me, his face inches now from my face, looking intently at me as I tried to calm down. "Why won't you let me forget?"

"Fenris, it's me. I _am_ here," I answered. "Please see me."

I flinched when he drew his hand back and punched the wall next to me and yelled.

"You have no right to look like her!"

I made no move to wipe the drop of blood trickling down from my cheek. I had felt a tiny shard pierce my face but instead, my hands went instinctively to cover my abdomen.

"You have no right to sound like her," he said as he hung his head. I shivered as he leaned forward and inhaled deeply "Or to smell like her." I slowly looked up to see him staring intently as my lips as moment before he kissed me briefly. "Or to taste like her."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	35. Chapter 35

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

__**_**_**_**Art recommendation for this chapter Against the Wall by Venhedis Fastavass on Deviant Art.**_**_**_**__**_  
><em>**

_**_****_Stranded_****_**_

_**_****_To Lose Myself in His Arms  
><em>****_**_

I trembled as he whispered my name. I fought the urge to throw my arms around him as he crushed his lips to mine. I heard the frustrated growl from deep within his throat, demanding that I open my mouth to him. I exhaled softly, eyes fluttering as I gave in, my hands clutching fistfuls of the tunic I wore, mewling softly as he pressed his body closer to mine. I felt his hand brush my jaw before wandering to the collar of my blouse, pushing it aside as he kissed his way down my throat. I trembled as his hands wandered across my body with his warm mouth nipping gently at my collarbone.

"Wait," I plead weakly as I felt the buildup of spirit from deep within me along with the pull of the lyrium on his skin so close at hand. "Please, Fenris…_stop_."

To which he only growled as he claimed my lips once more. I could feel my body tingle with every sensation, finally crying out when I felt his hands on my breasts.

As hard as I tried, I was losing control. I could feel tendrils of spirit reaching out…

"_Release her,_" a voice commanded from close by.

There was power in that voice, forcing me to open my eyes and turn to the open doorway where Anders stood. It was only then that I realized we had been slowly making our way across the room.

"Are you alright, Inara?" he asked and I shook my head quickly, still feeling slightly dazed.

He took a few steps to us and with every one, Fenris' arms tightened around me until I cried out.

"I said **release** her!" Anders yelled as he rushed to us, shoving him away from me. My knees gave out as soon as Fenris' released me and I slid to the floor, drawing my cloak closed over my body. Fenris was visibly tense as if ready to attack but Anders stood his ground in between us.

"You should not be here, _mage_," Fenris growled as he glared at Anders. "I warned you never to return."

"I wasn't planning to when I couldn't make you see reason," he responded.

I looked between the two of them, stances rigid as I stood slowly and inched my way further from the both of them. I froze when Fenris turned to me and I could see something had changed within him. He took the slightest step towards me but stopped instantly. I inhaled sharply from the look he gave me.

"_You should leave_," was all he said, softly, before he turned back to Anders.

My face heated as I turned my back to both of them and fled as quickly as I could, hopping over broken pieces of statue as I rushed down the stairs. My cloak caught on the banister and I lost my balance, landing hard on my knees as I fell forward. Still clutching my cloak, I braced myself with only my right hand, crying out when I felt a shard of broken glass pierce my palm. I stopped only long enough to pull it out and tear a strip of cloth from my tunic to stop the bleeding.

I continued on, carefully this time, somehow missing the overturned bookshelf and broken pieces of tile that littered the floor. My eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and I was able to slip past the broken crates, not wanting to trip and fall onto my already injured hand. I ignored the pain, knowing I could deal with it once I made it safely back to my home.

I pulled the door open and was briefly blinded by the morning sun. I pulled the hood up as I made my way slowly, staying close to the wall and making it down the stairs carefully, trying not to draw attention to myself when a voice called out to me.

"Hawke!"

I slowed only when a hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder. Instinctively, I tried to reach for the dagger at my waist and hissed when I flexed my hand.

"Is everything alright?" Isabela asked when I winced, feeling blood soak through the makeshift bandage.

"Why should it be?" I asked as I turned slightly to her. "Fenris doesn't recognize me! He thought I was a demon!" I replied loudly. "And then Anders…"

Isabela stayed silent as she turned away and I knew that was the reason why she was back even though I had told her to return to the Hanged Man to rest.

"Do you know why Anders was here, Isabela?" I asked as I reached up and moved my hood back off my head.

She looked back at me slowly before answering. "I went to check on Varric as soon as I returned to the Hanged Man, to tell him that you were finally going to try to speak to Fenris…" she said as she crossed her arms over her stomach. "I didn't know that Varric wasn't alone or realize that it was Anders with him! He rushed out as soon as the words were even out of my mouth. I tried to look for him…I should have realized that he would come here instead."

I looked down, feeling the air leave my lungs slowly as I took in what she had said. Maker knows I wanted to be angry with her. For being impulsive and speaking without being certain of her surroundings but I just couldn't. It was clear to see, the regret in her eyes, along with the underlying dark circles and wondered just how long she had been awake.

"Inara?" she asked when I remained silent.

"Go home, Isabela," I said as I finally looked up at her and smiled weakly. "I'm tired. It's been a long night for all of us." I covered my face once more as I turned away from her to continue slowly on towards my home, knowing she was still standing there watching me. I could see that she felt terrible for what had happened but just didn't have the strength to stop and reassure her that everything would be okay when I wasn't sure that it ever could be.

I passed by early morning Chantry patrons, as well as vendors whose arms were laden with various items. They thankfully ignored my disheveled appearance, walking quickly around me to reach their stalls. I stopped just outside the entrance to my home, fumbling with my uninjured hand to try to work the key into the lock when the door suddenly opened. Bodahn looked up at me with relief written all over his face as he moved aside so I could enter. I could see Sandal playing with my Mabari in the main hall.

"Good morning, Messere," Bodahn said brightly as he closed the door. "I am relieved to see you are home, safe and sound."

I breathed a sigh of relief, keeping my cloak tightly fastened and my injured hand out of his line of sight until I made it to the privacy of my room.

"Bodahn, I need to rest for a while but when you see Carver, could you send him up to my room? I need to discuss…" I managed to say before I bent forward slightly, clutching my abdomen and crying out.

Bodahn rushed to me, grabbing my arm to help steady me on my feet. "What's wrong? Shall I send for the healer?"

I opened my mouth to respond but instead let out a pained sound, looking at him. It felt as if my body was on fire, still charged from the inside, with my spirit energy built up with nowhere to go. Sandal was watching us from the open doorway, his eyes worried, unsure of what he should do.

"_Help me_," I pleaded before my eyes fluttered and I fell to my side.

-) (-

When I opened my eyes, I blinked several times before I recognized the canopy above my head. Somehow, I was now in my own bed. I placed my hands protectively over the slight swell of my child, feeling exhausted, at peace even and thankfully no longer in any pain. I moved slowly, stretching to take a mental count of how my body felt, leaving my injured hand for last. When I didn't feel the expected pain, I raised it and noticed that it was now neatly bandaged and that I was clutching a white stone.

"Sandal insisted that you hold that," a voice said from the far side of the room. "Bodahn says he made it for you this morning, after waking from a nightmare. I can only thank the Maker that he did."

_Was it the scary lady again? _I wondered as I forced myself up to focus and noticed Anders sitting at my desk. "What happened?"

"My best guess would be that you were under a lot of stress," he answered. "Your blood pressure was dangerously high and you fainted."

"Guess?" I asked as I lay back down.

"I had to examine you the old fashion way. Sandal's well timed gift has me a bit of a disadvantage, I'm afraid," he said and I turned the stone over in my hand to take a closer look.

"A rune?" I furrowed my eyebrows trying to decipher the carvings. "I don't recognize these markings. What does it do?"

"As far as I can tell, it neutralizes magic, much like what a Templar can do," he answered as he got up and walked to the foot of the bed but made no move to touch me. "Your body couldn't handle the buildup of spirit in your body without a release, Inara. Without that stone or if you had been alone…"

"Please," I asked, suddenly afraid. "Is my child alright?"

"As far as I can tell," he said as he finally looked at me with a small smile. "_She'll_ be just fine."

"A girl?" I placed my hands on my stomach once more. "You're certain?"

"It's an old wives tale, really," he laughed when I looked back up at him happily. "But I've learned to listen to wisdom when it's given to me. I've worked with mid-wives before and even though none of them have any sort of magic, they always seem to know."

I felt his hand as he brushed tears from my cheek.

"It tingles," he said softly as he looked at his fingers, still wet with my tears.

Before I could reply, I sneezed from an unusual odor that I picked up from the cuff of his coat. "You smell like the under warrens, Anders," I stated as I tried to stifle another sneeze. "I hope you're not going down there alone."

He took a step back from me and gave me a distant smile.

"I thought I had finally gotten rid the smell," he said as he reached for a nearby glass on my bedside table. "Drink this, Inara. You need your rest."

I sat up and reluctantly reached for the offered cup, noting that Anders had kept his fingers well away from mine when handing me the sleeping draught. I turned over onto my side and closed my eyes, still seeing the brief look of terror on his face after he touched my face. The rune had affected him as well and the thought of being without his magic frightened him.

_Was Fenris right?_ I wondered as I felt the effects take hold. _Should I be concerned over why Anders pushed me away and what he could possibly be planning?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** I hope you've liked this crazy story of mine and continue to find me entertaining for the stories still to come.**__


	36. Chapter 36

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

_**__**_**_**_**_**_****_Stranded_****_**_  
><strong>_**_**_**__**_

_**__**_**_**_**Dreams or What May Come to Pass  
><strong>_**_**_**__**_

I blinked several times at the brightness of the sun. I looked at my surroundings, wondering how I was now here instead of at home in bed, as I last remembered. But this place seemed familiar to me, Safe somehow. The warmth of the sun and the breeze upon my skin felt so real. I could see things with such _clarity_ that it couldn't possibly be the Fade.

I looked down at the task I was in the middle of. I was in a garden, tending the herbs when I first heard a child cry out. I quickly got to my feet and turned to the five year old child rushing towards me, with long dark hair similar to my own. She crashed into my legs and I bent down to touch her cheek, shushing her as she wiped at her tear filled eyes.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I cooed and she looked at me with the clearest green eyes. "It's alright. Now tell me why you are crying."  
>"He's come back, momma!" she sniffled as I pushed her hair off her forehead. "All I wanted was a hug but he pushed me away."<p>

I looked up and immediately spotted the man not far from us, standing on the other side of the fence, who turned away as soon as he saw my disapproving glare. I took the small child into my arms to soothe her further, rubbing my hands up and down her back until she hiccupped. I moved back and wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks.

"Sweetheart," I turned her around and wrapped my arms loosely around her. "Do you remember what this is?" I asked as I picked up the white rune that hung from her neck.

"Yes, momma, Sandal gave that to me! He said it was _enchantment!_" she said as she took the rune from my hand, trailing her small fingers along the grooves etched into the stone.

"Yes, it is, sweetheart. It's a special enchantment. One that we all wear willingly," I said as I pointed to the other houses of the small village. "Do you remember what I told you about mages and Templars? Of why we live so far from others?"

"Mages have powers, given to them by the Maker. Templars are bad men who lock mages away in Circles," she repeated slowly, eyes still glued to the rune in her small hand. "And they can never return to their homes or see their families ever again."

"Something like that," I smiled at her version of what I've tried to teach her. "Everyone you know here was rescued from Circles. They're all mages but with the help of these runes, the Templars don't see them that way. They can be safe here because it's difficult to reach us."

"Are you a mage, momma?" she asked softly, turning her shining green eyes to me.

I smiled reassuringly at her. "Yes, sweetheart, I am."

She got up on her tip toes to try and reach my ear to whisper. "Am I a mage?"

I patted her head and dropped a kiss onto her feather soft hair.

"Don't worry about these things, sweetheart," I said as I stood slowly, running my hands over the simple dress that I wore, marveling at how comfortable it was compared to my old armor. "Now, please take these herbs inside while I have a word with our visitor."

The child picked up the basket I mentioned that was overflowing with various herbs and took it inside as I asked. I waited until she was far enough away before turning to the man that stood on the other side of the fence from where I stood.

"Must you make her cry every time, Anders?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest.

"I'm sorry, Inara," he said softly, still refusing to look at me.

"You're always sorry," I said as I moved closer to the wooden posts. "And yet she loves you unconditionally, even though you push her away every single time." I looked down, leaving the next words unspoken between us.

"You know that the rune affects not only the wearer, but the person who touches them as well," he repeated, as he had time and again.

"She is just a child, Anders. All she's ever wanted from you is a simple hug," I said as I reached out to the fence and dug my nails into the wood.

"She knows that I love her," was all he said.

"I know that what you're doing is important," I said, digging my nails even harder into the wood. "We wouldn't even be here if you…"

Anders turned to me finally, cutting me off. "The runes aren't the answer, Inara. What you've done here…"

It was my turn to stop him before he started yelling.

"Look around you, Anders," I raised my hand to try to calm him, stopping mere inches from touching him. "It's taken the older mages a while to get used to being cut off from the Fade but the younger ones…they can live a _normal_ life now. A life without the fear of being taken to the Circles or of Templars chasing them because of who they are…or of demons calling out them from the Fade. Even the Chantry has no reason to suspect what we are. Why can't you ever be happy with that?"

"Because it's only a temporary measure, Inara, not a real lasting one. It won't change the fact that you are and will always be a mage, even if you cut yourself off from the magic you were born with. Take away your precious runes and the Templars will take everyone here that you care about and lock them away in. Do you want that for your daughter?"

"Don't you **ever** threaten my daughter," I said as my voice lowered to one I hadn't used in a long while. "This all started with you, Anders, with what you started…"

I startled when I felt arms wrap around my leg and heard a different child's voice ask, "Mummy, who is that man?"

I turned to face the child when everything around me changed.

Everything that I had seen only moments before had vanished, replaced by a vast emptiness as far as the eye could see. I spun around, hoping vainly it would somehow take me back to where I had been, to see what I had missed before I found myself here.

"You're back!" a voice said from over my shoulder. I turned to find Feynriel, the young elven mage we had helped from the Alienage. I was glad to see that he seemed mostly unchanged from the last I had seen him.

"Feynriel! Is that really you? Where are we? What am I doing here?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Your connection to the Fade has finally been restored. I could sense you yet not reach you. I knew that if I waited long enough, I would find you," he replied.

"So it was all just a dream?" I asked as I looked away from him.

"Dreams hold bits of truth that your mind wishes you to see," he said vaguely as I hung my head. "I've learned that they're not always so forthcoming with what those truths are. You're just expected to interpret them yourself."  
>"Why am I here, Feynriel? Are you safe?" I force myself to ask, returning to my role as Champion least I break down in front of him.<p>

_I had held my child in my arms and she was beautiful! _I thought as I waited for his answer.

"I'm doing well here. I've found someone who can teach me what I need to control this and its helped lead me to you," he responded as I turned back to him.

"I'm glad," I said as I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder briefly. "Your mother would be so proud of you."

"One day I'll visit her in a dream, when I'm ready," he said, turning away before looking straight into my eyes. "But that's not why I bought you here, Champion. It's one of your companions who needs your help: the Prince of Starkhaven."

"Sebastian?" I shake my head. "But I saw him recently, before I ended up here. How could he need my help?" I wondered as I walked away.

"Has he been acting unusual since your return, Champion?" he asked as he followed close behind me.

This stopped me dead in my tracks.

"His actions are not truly his own," Feynriel says as he reached out and touched my elbow. "He's being controlled by those who wish to control you, to make him Prince once more with you by his side, to rule Starkhaven as puppets."

"_Blood magic_."

"Yes, Champion," he agreed softly. "Find him and return with him to Starkhaven. But do not return to Kirkwall."

I tilted my head at this. "Remain in Starkhaven? But I am Champion of Kirkwall. The city…"

"You cannot stop what is coming, Hawke," he said as he began to walk away from me. "This city was well on its way to destruction before you ever stepped foot on its shores."

"_Feynriel…" _I called out to him but he was gone.

I looked around for him, feeling the weight of the Fade bearing down on me.

"Feynriel," I whispered as I sank to my knees.

* * *

><p><strong>oOoOo<strong>

I gasped softly when I finally woke to the feeling of a familiar hand in mine.

"Feynriel, if this is your doing," I whispered softly as the hand tightened in mine. "Then do not wake me!"

"Inara?"

_Oh Maker, thank you!_ I thought as I smiled when his lips brushed my knuckles.

"Fenris."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** Sorry for the delay. Real life has been crazy this holiday season.  
><strong>__


	37. Chapter 37

_**__**_**_**_**This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, who would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" _**The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. **_ I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome.**_**_**_**__**_

_**__**_**_**_**Fabulous art for this chapter is called simply Dragon Age by Notickleelmo on DeviantArt.**_**_**_**__**_

_**__**_**_**_**_**_****_Stranded_****_**_**_**_**_**__**_

**_The Heart of What We Believe_**

My body doesn't respond as quickly as I want. It feels heavy as I strain to sit up and immediately, I'm dizzy from the effort.

"Lay back, Inara!" Fenris said, and was quickly on his feet, leaning forward to push me back onto the bed. "Anders demanded to be informed the moment you finally woke…"

I want so badly to reach out to him but I can barely lift my arms. Instead I watch as he starts to move away from me as I lie here, still unable to speak. There was so much I needed to say, but right now I struggle to come up with something, _anything_, that would stop him from leaving. I find it difficult swallowing past the lump in my throat as tears well up and threaten to spill. The best I could do is tighten my hand in his and immediately he stills, looking down at the bed briefly before looking back up at my face.

"Inara," he whispers softly.

"How long…" was all I can manage to say before he reaches out and wipes at the tears that fall.

"A few days," he answers quietly. "You needed your rest."

I looked away, clutching the bed sheets, certain that there was something important I need to recall upon waking when I feel Fenris gently remove his hand from mine and back away. He wouldn't meet my eyes when I look up at him. This time I find the strength to sit up on my own but doing so causes me to shake uncontrollably. My body feels cold and my muscles clench and it feels as if my heart is being ripped from my chest.

"Wait," I pleaded. "Please, Fenris, just _wait_."

I watch as he hesitates for a moment before sitting down on the bed facing me, close enough to me that if I just reach out, I could finally touch him. But I struggle not to and the want I feel pains my heart even more. He keeps his eyes averted from me as I swipe at the hot tears that sting mine. When I'm ready, I take several deep shuttering breaths to calm myself before continuing.

"Please, just let me have my piece," I plead when I am able to force the tears down. "Hear me out this last time. Then if you go, I won't stop you. On my word, I will never bother you ever again."

He looks at me through his hair that I so desperately want to brush back so that I could see his face. To see the green of his eyes that I have missed staring at when he was deep in thought and the small smile that were only for me. I wanted to memorize everything about him as if this was the last time I would ever see his face. Because if I what I said failed to reach him, it truly would be. There would be nothing left for me in Kirkwall without him.

Or Anders.

_He made it perfectly clear the last time we spoke that he didn't…_

"Years ago, after I admitted to you that I was a mage, I made you a promise to always be truthful to you. It wasn't always easy to keep that promise, even when I knew that my actions would hurt you or others," I said, looking away when I see him flinch and spot the rune, half hidden in the folds of the bed sheets. I reach out for it, to help keep my hands occupied so as not to touch him like I yearn to.

"I promised myself to never use my magic on you, to never let what I am hurt you, yet I broke that promise again and again," I said as I clutched the stone tight in my hand. "And you let me, never knowing what it was doing to you…" I took a shuttering breath. "But how could you know?" I wipe the tears from my eyes before taking another deep breath to continue.

"Anders saw. Back on the island - the effects of what my magic did to you. He was trying to help me discover what I am but how could he when I kept that part of me a secret, just between the two of us? At first, I didn't think of what it was doing to you: of how much you craved my touch…or how I needed yours," I pause as his shoulders tense and I finally reach out, stopping just short of touching his hand. "Somehow, he saw that because of you I didn't need the lyrium. You gave it freely but at a cost! I know you think that it was his way of keeping us apart…and maybe there was some small selfish part of him that did. But what he said then opened my eyes and I was just so scared that I would lose you!"

I swallow painfully as I stare out into nothing.

"He was right," I admit softly, rocking gently back and forth. "I knew I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. I had hoped that I could learn to control it…"

Finally I turn back to him.

"So I tried to stay away. I didn't know how to tell you, of what being with me was ultimately doing to you," I admitted. "And I hate myself for being just another mage who hurt you."

"Inara, you alone proved to me that not all mages are alike. The first mage who has ever shown me _love_," he said simply and gently brushes his knuckles on mine. "For years, I believed I didn't deserve love. To Danarius, I was merely his property, at his every beck and call. To Hadriana, I was merely someone else to torment. And to my sister…"

My breath hitches when he twines his fingers with mine.

"But you made me feel that I was worthy of being loved. Not because of the lyrium in my skin or because of the sword I wield, but because of what you feel for me," he said and looks up at me hesitantly and continued slowly. "I know I haven't always made it easy for you to love me. When I pushed you away years ago, you could have walked away. There were always better choices for you, someone who was worthy of you…"

"But they weren't you!" I couldn't help but interrupt him.

"Instead you gave me space to figure out what I felt. To realize that what I had come to feel for you, of what I never wanted to lose." I brush my thumb over his fingers and he looks down at our hands before continuing.

"Anders came to me several times after we returned to Kirkwall, to discuss what had happened back on the island. Countless times, he tempted my wraith, stubbornly refusing to leave me alone. He risked my anger, trying to get me to listen to all he had to say."

It's now my turn to tense and try to pull my hand back from his and at first he refuses. Finally he lets go and I cross my arms over my abdomen.

"At night, I still get small flashes of what happened that night," I said softly, shutting my eyes tight. "On losing all control of my body…of what she would have done to either you or Anders, to make me give into her." I shuttered and squeezed my arms. "With every image she gave me, I gave up a piece of myself."

"But you fought her, Inara!" Fenris pointed out.

"Only with Anders' help," I rasped. "The things she said to me, about how my magic and her powers were similar…" I pause when Fenris reached out and placed his hand gently on my chin to make me look up at him before continuing. "It made me doubt myself. And that gave her almost complete power over me."  
>"Never compare yourself to a demon, Inara," he demanded gently and I finally look into his eyes. "Demons lie. They use your fears and desires to get what they want."<p>

Fenris must have still seen the doubt in my eyes as he leaned forward and put his arms around me. I began to sob gently against his chest. I let the gentle beating of his heart, along with him whispering my name repeatedly against my hair, soothe me.

"I couldn't fight her alone, Fenris," I said as moved back from him finally but held onto his hand gently.

"You did what few others would have had the strength to do, Inara," he said softly. "You are the most remarkable, stubborn woman…"

I laughed, feeling hope in my heart. "Could you forgive me? For all that I've done?" I asked, looking up into his eyes. "I never meant…"

"Inara," he said softly as he stroked my hair and I shivered at way he said my name. "The only mage I have ever loved."

I couldn't stop the slight tremors I felt as my face lit it.

"Truly?"

I can't help but hold my breath as I wait for his answer.

"Always."

I didn't know how to react. It as if a tremendous weight was lifted. So I laugh, even as I wipe the tears that fall, then yelp as a slight kick catches my attention. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the concerned look on Fenris' face. I smiled and reach out to take his hand, placing it gently on the swell of my abdomen. I was never more delighted than the look on his face, his eyes went wide when he felt the next kick.

"I think she's happy as well," I said as he leaned closer and now placed both hands on my expanding belly.

"She?" he asked, looking up briefly as me before turning his attention back to the now softer movements beneath his hands. "How are you so certain?"

"Anders said it was something he learned from a mid-wife," I recalled. "I find it strange that he would bother to learn something not involving magic but if it's true…"

"A _daughter_," Fenris said softly to himself, with a slight smile upon his face.

_And she'll have his eyes, _I thought happily.

_Wait, how do I know that? _

I look up past the bed and can see the smiling image of a child, one with Fenris' green eyes. The more I thought about it, the clearer the image became. Somehow I could feel her heavy in my arms, hear her laughter, and could even smell the subtle scents of lavender and honey in her hair…_which will be dark, just like mine._

"Are you alright, Inara?"

It's then I realize that I've been holding my breath and my forehead is furrowed. Fenris has moved closer to me now, his fingers brushing my cheek lightly. I look past him again but the image is gone and I try to relax once more.

"It's nothing," I say as I take his hand in mine. I sweep my fingers lightly over the lines of lyrium on his hand and I smile as something occurs to me finally.

"Why are you smiling?" he asks and I look up at him.

"Your skin," I said as I pull his hand up and rub my face on the back of his palm. "All I feel is your skin."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <strong>_

__** Sorry for the delay. Real life has been crazy.  
><strong>__


	38. Chapter 38

**_This started as a question posted on Twitter: "If you were stranded on a desert island with two DA characters, which would be the best and the worst to be stuck with?" The characters of Anders and Fenris are from Dragon Age 2 but they will be different for this story. Mage Hawke has abilities that are not from the game as you've noticed so far. I'm trying to see how this goes and decided to post a few chapters anyways. My partner in crime for this is KrisJFern. All comments are welcome._**

**_I was lucky enough to have artwork done on my Hawke by Kakumei but unfortunately, it's posted on my Tumblr and not on Deviant Art. Perhaps if and when I transfer everything to AO3 I can add the pic that she did for me. There is art that inspired this chapter but I will need to add it later.  
><em>**

**_Stranded_**

**_Chapter 38_**

**_Nightmare_**

_** This isn't real.**_

_Dear Maker, please let this be another dream!_

I repeat this as I struggle to focus and make out everything all at once. There's no mistaking the sounds of conflict all around me. The clash of steel against armor; cries of pain but from whom I could not say. Smoke and sand make it hard for me to see anything clearly. I feel the blast of heat from a fire attack that somehow narrowly misses me. I can sense the brush of magic all around: fire, earth, ice, force…and yes, even _**blood**_. The smell of it overpowers me, so strong that it makes me choke. As hard as I try, everything I see is blurry but one thing stands out amongst the chaos.

_ My sword._

It's then I realize that I am unarmed as the battle rages on around me. I struggle to reach out, only to discover that my sword arm is useless. The blood I smell is from a wound on my shoulder that would make lifting the weapon nearly impossible. Even the dagger at my waist would be of no use if I could not raise my arm properly to wield it. And worse, there is the feeling of being bound to where I stand. I desperately look down at my body but _cannot_ see that which holds me! Through the haze, I can see a figure approach me slowly. Even from so far away, I can hear its laughter and that alone makes me struggle harder against my bonds.

_ If I could just move!_

"_What would you do, little mage?" _I could hear the voice so clearly. _"The bonds that hold you are of your own making."_

Hearing this makes my breath catch and my skin grow cold. Even from a distance, there is no mistaking the lilting, songlike quality of its voice. _**Demon! **_My mind screams out to me and I struggle even harder. Even though my muscles are straining from all the effort of trying to break free, I begin to realize that the more I struggle, the tighter I am bound. As terrified as I am, I stop moving and will myself to calm down. I take a shuddering breath as I close my eyes to block out the approaching menacing figure.

"_Fight all you want, little mage,"_ the voice said, closer this time and I desperately try not to open my eyes. _"No one can save you."_

My breath hitches when I realize that I can slowly move my arm up slightly. I clench my jaw as the slow movement is torture and causes the wound on my arm to once again and bleed freely. Even if I could break free, I still would be unable to lift a weapon to defend myself against whatever was rapidly approaching me. I hiss in pain as I concentrate to force my arm to rise even higher.

"_Where is your healer now, little mage? Where is your warrior? Who holds your shield or your bow?"_ the voice taunts me. _"Whose blood will find you when the darkness takes you? Will the sea collect your bones or will the earth claim what remains?"_

Their images flash before my eyes as the pain intensifies in my efforts.

Anders…

Fenris…

Aveline…

Varric…

Carver…

Isabela…

Merrill…

As hard as I try not to, I open my eyes to see everything that was hidden from my sight revealed, making my heart clench. Flashes of the bodies that litter the battlefield: of mages, Templars, along with armor clad forms belonging to the city guard and even those of the Dalish. Just as quickly, the bodies are hidden but not before I notice that none of the bodies belong to those dearest to me.

"_Who will save you?"_

_** I will save myself!**_

I can still feel the brush of magic that surrounds me and feel the pull of lyrium, just out of my reach. I can feel the call of the Fade but somehow cannot...

"_Where is __**your**__ Champion?" _

_** I am the Champion!**_

_The bonds that hold you are of your own making, _it had said these words to me, I thought. _Of my own making…have I bound myself?_

I raise my arm higher, not for the dagger but for chain I wear and I'm finally able to move the moment I tear it from my throat. I let it fall as the figure reaches out to me…

"Breathe, Inara, breathe," a voice soothes me as I thrash about. "Breathe and be calm. You're safe."

Arms tighten around me, pulling me close, making me feel safe once more as sleep claims me.

~o~o~o~

The next time I open my eyes, I am reluctant to move but this time it's from a warm embrace. I move only ever so slightly to breathe in the scent of his skin, that which is undeniably Fenris, as I feel his fingers trace patterns down my back. I look up to see that slight smile I that I love, one that was meant just for me. I return the smile shyly as he brushes hair off my face before leaning in to kiss me softly.

"Were you finally able to rest?" he asks as he moves back and I lay my head on his shoulder. "I was worried," he admits as he reaches and places his hand gently at my waist. I had already repeated everything Anders had explained to me about our child, though small, we were both healthy. And once I assured him that I would be fine…

I laugh gently as I recall the night before, of rediscovering the feel of skin that no longer sang of lyrium on my own. "I think I have more than proven that I'm not made of glass, Fenris," I reassure him as I smile up at him. "Thank you for waking me," I said, feeling more than a little guilty for thrashing about in my sleep.

"It was for both our well beings," he laughed as he rubbed at his chest. I drew myself up onto my elbow, about to ask when he replied. "You have very sharp elbows, Inara."

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to argue when he pulled me down for another kiss. I could feel his laugh from deep in his throat as I tried to push him away, finally giving up and kissing him in return. Fenris wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him but I groaned and moved away only when I realized that I heard the unmistakable sound of armor.

"**No**, I don't know if they're awake yet, Aveline," Carver's voice echoed up from the main hall, presumably as he was trying to catch up to her. As I lay back for a moment onto my pillow, I smiled as I could just imagine him doing his best to block her path but there was very little anyone could do to could stop Aveline once her mind is set. "Anders said that she should be resting…"

"Anders also said that once the sleeping draught worked its way out of her system, she would be fine as long as she did not over exert herself." Aveline's voice rang out, exasperation clear in her voice. "Now let me pass!"

"Then why not give her time…"

"I've given her all the time that I possibly can, Carver," Aveline argued. "But there are things that only she can do as _Champion_...the people are worried that her return was merely a rumor. I'm not asking that she defend the city against an invasion, just that when she is able she simply make an public appearance at the Keep."

_Well that explains it. Seems the Seneschal had a hand in Aveline's visit_, I thought and groaned as I very reluctantly pulled the warm bedclothes off my body, stretching as best as I could before slightly struggling to stand.

"Well, I'm not about to waltz into my sister's bedchamber at such an early hour!" he argued.

_Thank the Maker,_ I laugh quietly as I pad to the armoire in search of smallclothes and something that would cover as much as possible before Aveline forced her way in. Hearing the urgency in her voice, I wouldn't put it past her. I couldn't help but glare at Fenris as he quickly slipped on his clothes as I dismissed many of the uncomfortable outfits that would require Orana's help putting on, many of which no longer fit due to my expanding belly. _Thankfully Bodahn has located a seamstress for me!_ I thought.

Seeing no other option, I grabbed a flowing nightgown, along with a house coat, similar to the other one Mother commissioned for me once we regained the Amell estate, one that I should have given to Carver long ago. When he joined the Templars, I placed it in the back of my armoire in hopes of one day giving it to him but at least now I had something that would at least close properly without too much effort.

"I'm not planning on merely waltzing in," Aveline said loudly. I knew she was letting it be known she was now standing right outside the door. "I'm going to give her a respectable amount of time for her to get out of bed and get dressed while I wait for her _downstairs_." After a few moments, she muttered, "Maker knows that I've seen more than enough of Fenris' backside than I care to."

I paused and turned to Fenris as he looked sheepishly away from me. After a few moments passed, he turned his head back to me.

"I can explain…"

"Please," I asked, grinning as I continued to tie my house coat slowly. "Tell me she somehow means you were _forced_ to play strip Wicked Grace with Isabela and lost?"

"Would you have preferred that I was nearly naked for any other reason?" he asked back, returning my grin as I walked towards him. "In all honesty, we were all celebrating the clearing of Aveline's name."

I remembered hearing about it, and being frustrated that I could do nothing to help my longtime friend. "Carver mentioned something about that night but somehow he must have decided to keep that part out," I said as I crossed my arms across my chest as best as I could.

"By then your brother was nowhere to be found," Fenris said as I stopped in front of him. "Both he and Merrill have be known to go off on their own."

"Hmm, still," I said softly as I reached for him. "I don't know if I like that the others have seen so much of you. But at least now maybe Isabela will stop asking me what color your smallclothes are."

He placed his hands gently on my waist as I leaned in to kiss him.

"Aveline…"

"Can wait a little longer," I joked as I kissed him again.

I was glad that Aveline's patience held out as long as it did. As I made my way slowly downstairs, with Fenris not far behind me, I watched the animated yet hushed conversation between Carver and Aveline in the far corner.

"Rather early for an official visit, wouldn't you say, Aveline? At least, if that's what I am led to believe," I commented when they abruptly stopped and moved apart, noting the scowl that Carver tried to hide by focusing it on Aveline. "You must excuse my state of dress…"

"It's not a problem. And if it means anything, I am sorry for the early hour, Hawke," Aveline said as she pushed her way past Carver. "But I felt there are things that needed to be brought to your attention."

"Things must surely be slow at the Keep for the Seneschal to request that you personally come to see me, Aveline," I joked as I made my way down the remaining steps, thanking Orana as I accepted a small glass of juice that she held out for me.

"There's always something that needs to be done, especially with the Templars thinking they run things," was her only response.

From the tight lines around her eyes, I could tell that she didn't like feeling like a messenger.

"Alright then, I'll bite," I said as I sat down on the nearest chair. Fenris stood against the wall behind me. "Please sit and tell me what I've missed?"

Aveline ignored Carver as she stepped closer to me. "The Seneschal…"

I stiffened and huffed in annoyance at the mention of his name, resisting the urge to turn and look at Fenris, not knowing exactly how much he knew about my turning down the title of Viscount.

"If this is what I think it's about then I believe he can afford to be patient a little bit longer, wouldn't you agree?" I asked as gestured at my swollen belly and waited for her to sit. "It wouldn't do to have the _Champion_ parading around Hightown in her nightclothes!" I joked.

"This is serious, Hawke," Aveline said as she sat down across from me. "You can't keep avoiding what's going on here in Kirkwall…"

"I'm not avoiding anything," I replied. "I thought I had made myself very clear on the matter when it comes to what the Seneschal really wants."

"I'm not here to change your mind, Inara. All I ask is that you merely speak with him. Refuse him again, if you will, but in person…and _gently_," she added as she leaned forward. "I hate to ask this but you must do something."

"I will deal with the Seneschal, Aveline, don't you worry," I assured her.

"When, if I might ask?"

I sat back and thought about it before answering. "This afternoon, if he's available to meet with me, here at my estate," I replied with a small smile on my face. "It's not like I can go anywhere at the moment. I'm sure I can squeeze him in some time after my fittings."

"_Hawke_."

"And I promise to be civil," I added as I tried to look convincing but from the soft snort that came from behind me, I knew that my tone was unconvincing. "Now, what else has brought you here on this fine day?"

Aveline paused before answering, looking up briefly at Carver who stood close by.

"There have been reports of mages sited around Kirkwall," Aveline answered slowly.

I could feel the smile drop from my face as I cleared my throat and leaned towards her. "Are you even certain that they were mages, Aveline? With Meredith sending out more and more patrols, I thought the underground was completely at a standstill…" I pause as I shake my head, knowing that I shouldn't doubt that Aveline wouldn't have mentioned it without gathering as much information as she could. "Have you spoken to Anders about this?" I asked, although I was fairly certain that she would have gone to him before bringing the matter to my attention.

"Anders says that too many of his supporters have been captured or killed trying to help mages that not many are willing to continue trying," she answered. "Only there's something about the reports we're getting which makes me believe that this isn't about the mages he's been trying to help but something different."

"If Anders hasn't heard anything he's willing or able to share, then what makes this different?" I asked and watched as she turned slightly to Carver, acknowledging him finally but he refused to do anything other than stare stonily at her.

Finally, she gave a heavy sigh as she turned back to me.

"There was a missive sent to the Keep…"

"Aveline, don't," Carver started to say when I got abruptly to my feet, wincing only slightly and made my way quickly to the unusually tidy desk, searching until I found a stack of _opened _letters that I had yet to read. I flipped through the pages, noting that many of them were from the Gallows.

"The First Enchanter has been requesting an audience with me," I read out loud, looking up at Carver, who turned away from me. "Seems odd that this should come so close to reports of mages running around Kirkwall, wouldn't you agree, brother?" I asked as I held the pages out for Aveline to read. "Is this what you two were being so secretive about?"

Aveline remained quiet as I stared at Carver. I could see the emotions flash upon his face before he finally spoke.

"I had heard a rumor from Samson…"

"Wait, not the _ex_-Templar, Samson?" I asked, cutting him off as I walked towards him. "Carver, you of all people should know better than to believe a word that he says! He'll say anything for coin or lyrium!"

Carver shook his head as he looked down at me and secretly, I hated the fact that he was taller than me. "I didn't believe him at first but others have been talking about secret meetings taking place in and around Kirkwall."

I gritted my teeth as I took in what he said. "So you've been doing what? Trying to get as much information before…"

"I knew that the rumors were true as soon as the letter from the First Enchanter arrived," was all he said as I glared up at him.

"Then why keep it from me?" I asked.

I could see something in Carver break down, like a wall that he had built, one he had built long ago, was finally shattering

"Because he was afraid," Fenris simply said. I paused and turned briefly to look at him before looking back up at Carver.

"Yes," he admitted and my anger at him vanished. "I am afraid. I know I've always acted like a spoiled child but you're all I have left, Inara. I thought if you didn't know, then you would stay away and leave this for someone else for a change."

"Fat chance in that," Aveline muttered and I couldn't help but give a soft chuckle.

"Meredith will only see this as an excuse to force you into the Gallows," Carver said softly as I turned back to him. "Please, sister, I need you in my life. For once, let someone else handle this."

This time I looked up at him fondly, reaching out and touched his cheek as I smiled. "Was that so hard to admit?" I joked as I took in the fine lines of his face. "When did you take over the role as protector of this family?" I asked him softly.

Aveline cleared her throat and I turned back to her, finally returning to my seat.

"How do you want to proceed with this?" she asked.

"Please, sister, I don't think it's wise…" Carver started to say but I cut him off by smiling up at him.

"Since Carver seems determined to keep me away, I think he should be the one to go speak with Orsino," I said as I took back the stack of letters that she held in her hands. "And I'd rather Meredith not get the impression that he's rejoining. As I suspect you'll be busy keeping Bran in line, would it be too much to ask if you had a few off-duty guards that you can spare to go with him? I will gladly pay for their time."

"I'm sure I know a few that wouldn't mind getting a few free drinks at The Hanged Man later as payment," Aveline offered and I smiled at that.

"That can definitely be arranged," I assured her.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thanks to everyone who has been following this crazy story. If you have any questions about this, please be sure to have your PM's enabled so I can answer back! <em>**

**_Sorry for the delay. Real life has been crazy._**

**_See what happens when I take too long to upload? My writing changes again!_**

**_The parts where the inner dialogue was meant to be on the right side of the page but for some reason the site will not recognize it that way._**


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